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Jamie has blown knees, so the vet upped the medication and it seems to be helping. If he's not getting really better by Monday, I'll go down and we'll see about something else. He's still limping, and doesn't want to walk around too much, but at least I don't have to carry him outside, that was getting a bit hard, he's 40 lbs.
As for me, if I would rest in bed it would be better. I can't. I'm all alone out here, I'm handicapped, and have no help. I can't afford to hire help, I live on an 8 acre farm in the middle of nowhere. If I had known Bud was going to die, and leave me with a Sheltie I can hardly brush & 6 cats to take care of, I would never have done this. Crystal ball was at the cleaners that day, I guess. And I'm trying to clean out 20 years worth of stuff we dragged out here to sort, because my Mom & Dad had died, my husband Richard had died, my brother died, my best friend died, and I ended up with everybody's stuff, and that darn Bud died before he could even help me make a start on it. And it's breaking my heart. I'm trying, that's why I was on the ladder. Pretty stupid when I'm 65 and handicapped, but there's no choice. Well, I have thought of dynamite, but I don't want to hurt the cats. Sorry, but you did ask, and I'm just so very tired of saying everything is ok when it's not, and there is nobody that isn't hundreds of miles away that cares. I know Cuties care, but there's nothing you can do except send prayers and good wishes, you can't drive me to the doctor. I've had to cancel three appointments because my car's not working and I can't get it fixed. I'm one refill away from no medication, and can't get to the doctor to get a prescription for the one that costs $100 a month anyway. I get Social Security, and I worked all my life, so my $1500/mo makes me rich, I don't qualify for ANY help, even if there were some out there. And my mortgage payment takes 2/3 of that. I decide when I'll heat the house enough to take a shower, or when I'll turn on more than one light, since caps came off electric rates 2 years ago, and bills went up 30% and I have a huge new house, electric furnace. Bud had cancer, needless to say he had no life insurance. I still owe on his funeral, 6 years later. And now Jamie is hurting, and I'll pay for his medicine before I pay for my own.
I am NOT asking for, nor will I ever accept, a dime from anyone! I recall one scam here very well, so no, I'll just plain die first, Cuties don't need any more of the pain and embarassment that lady caused with her sob story. You could pray for things to change, but that's it. Unless you feel like making a very long drive, hee hee hee. Unfortunately my support system is all on the other side (dead), and those who live in this awful county really could not care less if people need help or not. "It's not my job". So, if you have people around you, husbands, children, friends, then hug them and appreciate them, don't take them for granted. Take a minute to help a stranger. Give thanks for the blessings of your life, no matter how big or small they are. Take care of each other. Actually take the time to listen to what people are saying. And learn to simply say, "I'm so sorry this is happening to you." instead of "what you should have done is... or, you should have known..." Sometimes it's really nobody's fault, it's just plain bad luck. Be glad you can eat a sandwich, or a piece of cake. Enjoy a sunrise, or sunset. Be content. I love you all, Marji
by rescuer
08 Nov 2013
Hugs! If I win the lottery -- you are moving to my neighborhood! I so wish you could be around real people that really care. My prayers are with you and your sweet 40 pound friend.
by graceandham
08 Nov 2013
Marj I so relate to what you are saying. I too, had a husband die and leave me to finish moving into his house! And repair my house so I could sell it. I have "stuff" from 10 estates and it is choking my house. Tried to save it for my sons, but they don't seem to be settling in somewhere where they are able to receive the nice furniture, etc. Some days, I think I'll just run an ad in the paper! I'm a cat momma, but are they any of these pets you could place in adoptive homes? I know it all seems overwhelming, everyday, even when you take it a bit at a time. I missed the scammer on Cute - kinda glad!!! May there be some light showing at the end of the tunnel for you tomorrow! God bless.
by marjialexa
08 Nov 2013
Thanks, Grace, for understanding. Dog and cats are the only kids, the only family at all that I have left. They're the only good & loving things here. There would be no reason at all to live without them, and they're older, they'd be killed, not adopted. If I have to do this horrific job, at least I have their sweet company. Animals are loving, people are the ones who can be so unthinkingly cruel. I know about "stuff"--people say, oh, yes, please, we'll come get it!! And then you never hear from them again, some of them for 5 years. Maybe abducted by aliens, I guess. I'm saving what I want, the rest sold (hopefully), or given away, or set on fire. First one who says "I wish I would have known...or...I would have liked that" probably will get slapped silly. It's been 13 years for Richard, it'll be 6 years on the 17th for Bud. I'm done waiting on turkeys (and that does injustice to those noble birds, hee hee hee).
by cfidl
09 Nov 2013
I am so sorry you are going through this, especially when you have family close by but seemingly too far away. If I could travel I would arrange to help you. It is easier for me to get rid of someone else's stuff than it is my own. I have empathy and applaud your resolved to "slap someone" who says something stupid about wanting something. I have been cleaning and organizing for the last year and a half, and the result is anything I was willing to get rid of my daughter wanted to keep. I have all of it back at my house plus some of hers and have not yet recovered from the experience. Best wishes to you, I think the only step to take with the family is to "set a date" if it is not gone by then - it going by then!
by gerryvb
edited 09 Nov 2013
Marji, thank you for telling your story, I'm sorry we cannot meet, I do hope there is a Cutie who lives not too far away from you and can give you a visit and some help. Where do you live by the way, perhaps some Cutie can.
My dear Marji all I can give you from here, is my prayers, my thoughts and a gigantic cyber hug. Hang in there, my dear.
by marjialexa
09 Nov 2013
For cfdl, and others who may have misunderstood. I have NO family. Everybody is DEAD. I was trying to say that I do know some Cuties care, but are in California, Georgia, Utah, Virginia, and other places too far away to help. My late husband Bud and I were married 5 years, he has a daughter by his first marriage, in her 30's. She doesn't dislike me, or anything like that, but she's just, well, ignorant. Doesn't understand, didn't think it was important, or is perhaps just plain cold-hearted. "Well, I loved Dad, but dead is dead, so, bye" I do not have family, never had kids, mom, dad and brother are all dead. That's it, end of story. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
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