by leenova54 05 Apr 2013

Almost 4 months since my hubby left me. I had my first Easter dinner at my parents' house since I was 17. My brother came in his pick-up truck and then drove my car since I can't climb into the truck. I wasn't feeling very well and my brother still had things to do so we didn't stay long and it is hard to be around our dad too long but it was nice enough. I am doing fairly well without my husband for the most part but I don't want to stay in this house much longer and I can't do much to clean or get rid of stuff, still using the walker both in the house and out so I don't know how to clean it out when I can't move or carry anything or go up and down the steps but I am really hoping to have things cleared by summer to put it for sale maybe partially furnished including all the new (less than 2 years old) kitchen appliances and washer and dryer and water softener, bedroom outfit and kitchen table set. My computer keeps crashing so I turned it off for a while rather than be frustrated. My parents have gotten me to and from this 2nd session of radiation but it didn't seem to help much either. I will see the oncologist on the 15th and see what the next course will be. Thank you all for caring and I'm sorry if I don't respond since the computer is a pain and I don't feel so great. I did get the innovations pillow that Chris (pennifold) recommended but got it on ebay for 1/2 the price. My head and top still gets sweaty but the pillow is kind of hard and heavy and my neck hurts if I use it all night. Hugs to everyone and I am so sorry for all of you who also have posted the loss of loved ones (through death and divorce) and illnesses and troubles.


by leenova54 14 Apr 2013

I had said almost 4 months but it is only 3 months, guess it felt like 4. It is so hard. Every time I talk to someone I cry again. I miss him so much, well, here are those damn tears again. If that isn't enough I have a chest cold too! It is going around so who knows how I got it, haven't been out of the house in a week and I was with my parents and they didn't catch it! Since this won't let me change my profile pic I will post it in projects! I am the project!

1 comment
crosses by crosses 14 Apr 2013

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

by bowlds 10 Apr 2013

As I read this, I can't help thinking how exhausted you must be with all the work you see around you. I hope you are taking time to smell the roses and enjoy the day. Take time for you as often as you can.
Thinking of you all the time,

leenova54 by leenova54 14 Apr 2013

Can't wait for warm weather just to sit out on my patio!

bowlds by bowlds 16 Apr 2013

Sounds like a good plan Deb. I wish I was near, I would sit there with you!

by jbtuck 09 Apr 2013

I am praying for you! Love and hugs.

by jobaby 09 Apr 2013

All the other cuties have pretty much said it all but here is another thinking of you and hoping the situation betters itself soon. Moving is not fun even when you are in good health, but you will be glad when you are downsized. HANG IN THERE!!!!

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 14 Apr 2013

I am trying!

by jillian 09 Apr 2013

Be brave and take care of yourself.

by rmj8939 08 Apr 2013

My heart and prayers go out to you also.

by lucypiwow 08 Apr 2013

wish i could help but my prayers will have to do..sending up may prayer for you and hugs...pray you will be feeling great soon...lucy

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 08 Apr 2013

That's good enough!

by oaro 07 Apr 2013

Thank you for the update my prayers and warm hugs for you

by pennifold 07 Apr 2013

Dear Deb,
So sorry that you find the pillow heavy. I know it is more so than usual but you do get used to it. I'm still using mine as it's still quite humid at night here. With regards to your home I do hope you can get some help and that someone can fix your computer. I've just been reading the comments from the others and maybe if you could approach your friends they could help you sort out your things. It's always much more fun when you have someone to share going through all of that. I pray for you every night at my window and have been doing for months now. God bless you and keep you under the shadow of His wings. Love and blessings Chris

by pldc 07 Apr 2013

sounds like you have a good attitude Debra & that makes such a big difference. I am glad that your easter was ok & that you were not by yourself. It was nice that your bro could come get you to enjoy the day too. Keep up the good spirits & as always I will keep you in my prayers Hugs & Blessings Loralye

by twee 07 Apr 2013

My prayers and hugs are with you.

by gerryvb 06 Apr 2013

dear Debra, thank you for the update, I hope the hugs , thoughts and prayers of us Cuties can give you some strength. Hugs for you.

by gramsbear 06 Apr 2013

Well Debra, guess I have a ways to go, My first holiday without my DH went okay, spent it with my Church family & then GD & family for a while, then home to a lonely house. I thank God that I am not in the kind of pain you are, but am Praying for your pain to be managed. I have 4 twisted nerves in my spine & have went through spinal injections, and it really helped. I hope that horrible pain never comes back. I could not even get out of bed or walk. But Thanx to God, He got me through it. Huggs & Prayers, Judy

pldc by pldc 07 Apr 2013

our prayers are with you also dear Judy, hugs Loralye

leenova54 by leenova54 08 Apr 2013

So sorry, the nerves needing shots to me would not be good.

by justsew 06 Apr 2013

Dear Debra, you have so much Pain and trouble to put up with, it is hard to find words to help, but try to keep looking at the good times you had and the happy times, hold close to you dont let them fade, we will pray for you and send love.
Hugs Pa

by dilceia 06 Apr 2013

Everything should be very difficult for you, I know. But, GOD exists of comforts her and to help her in your fight moments. God does not abandon us!
Have my fondness and my prayers. I love you!

by michemb 06 Apr 2013

Dear Debra
So nice to hear from you, you are always in my prayers and thoughts.
I can't imagine how hard it must be to try and get around with a walker and in pain. Is there anyone who could help you with the sorting and packing? This is way too much for you to handle on your own.
Big hug out to you,

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 08 Apr 2013

So far I have just had my Dad doing stuff, poor guy, he's 76 and has to do this for me! Mom helps all she can too but not my boys. I did a call to action to them today that should get them to take a day out of the month and come down to put together a shelf unit for the garage and they better all show up!

by lidiad 06 Apr 2013

Thank you for the update, Debra. I hope that the oncologist will find a way to help you. Prayers, love and hugs for you.

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 08 Apr 2013

Boy me too!

by airyfairy 06 Apr 2013

What a wonderful surprise to see you here Debra. I am sure that you are greatly missed by all the other Cuties. I know that I miss your lovely face. I will be thinking of you on 15th. Much love and hugs Sarah.

by leenova54 06 Apr 2013

I guess saying he left me isn't the right way to word that, he passed away, died of a massive heart attack due to type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol and obesity. He also drank way too much diet Mt Dew.

1 comment
ddouville by ddouville 07 Apr 2013

He left you like mine left me, feeling abandoned & alone. Truly wasn't like they had a choice, my husband had heart problems also. I am hoping the Dr. can offer something else for treatments. This site is a wonderful place for support and friendship. Debbie

by drro 05 Apr 2013

Dear Debra, I am so happy to see your smiling avatar on the first page! I have you in my prayers and keep you in my thoughts, knowing that the Lord is with you. I know you know He is there with you through all of your days, and I know you believe that He is keeping you in His care each step of the way! I continue to ask HIm for healing and strength for you, and everything else good for you that He has to give! Hugs and Love, Prayers and God Bless!!! ro

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 06 Apr 2013

That smile was many months ago, much has happened and this site won't let me up date my pic as far as I know.

by osueo 05 Apr 2013

You will be in my prayers---I cannot even imagine your sorrow---Just know you are not alone---many are thinking of and praying for you!!!!

by graceandham 05 Apr 2013

Good to see your smile again. Hang in there. As my friend Sheila said, you're still a baby at being a widow! Lots of people here are praying for you and wantyou to thrive through it all.

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 06 Apr 2013

Very true and the smile has been gone for a long time.

by noah 05 Apr 2013

Thanks for the update and know we are still praying for u hugs Carolyn

by blueeyedblonde 05 Apr 2013

Take it easy and it will all come together for you. One step at a time. It takes a lot to come to grips with everything and you will. Take any help you can get and that will make a difference.

by beatie58 05 Apr 2013

Debra, lovely to hear from you, sorry the radiation did not help much. I think of you daily and hope your oncologist will have some other ways to manage your pain. Huge hugs Sally

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 06 Apr 2013

Thank you, we will try something else I am sure.

by jrob Moderator 05 Apr 2013

Debra, thank you so much for keeping us updated. We do care immensely. I'm sorry to hear that the radiation didn't seem to help you. I hope there will be another avenue when you get to see your oncologist for you to take. You must be getting so sick and tired of being sick and tired! I pray for you everyday and I know that God has a perfect plan.
Hugs and love and hugs!

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 06 Apr 2013

I try, my computer has been freezing up for quite a while. Yes, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. Told that to my mom on Wednesday!

by mary51 05 Apr 2013

Debra we understand, the loss of a love one is very hard but you are very strong, my pray for you every night before going to sleep it was nice to hear from you.

by grandmamek 05 Apr 2013

Dear Debra, it is so good to hear from you. I think of you so often and you are still in my prayers daily. Do you know of any young people who could come and help you clean out your house the way you want it to be? How about social services? Possibly women from the church?
I do hope that when you see your oncologist that he will have some good solutions to regulate your pain. Hugs, Mary

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 06 Apr 2013

No, but it's not cleaning it needs, it need the junk gone through and trashed or taken for charity and I need to be the one who decides what goes where.

by cfidl 05 Apr 2013

Hugs for you! I wish I could do more for you... prayers for you and Mom and Dad.

by capoodle 05 Apr 2013

I appreciate the effort it takes for you to post on how you're doing. Always good to hear from you. Hugs and prayers.

by susiesembroidery 05 Apr 2013

Dear Debra, I am so pleased to hear from you. I pray for you daily and hope that you will be able to be relieved of pain and a hope that the Dr.can find another way to help you cope and hopefully heal. May God's loving Hand hold you tightly. Many blessings. Lovies.

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 06 Apr 2013

From your lips to God's ears. My Mom prays and cries for me every night and every time we talk on the phone and every time they drop me off at home and..................

by devon 05 Apr 2013

Sis thinking of you. Send hugs and prayers your way. DeVon

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 05 Apr 2013

Oh sis, I am so glad we at least got to meet! The fact that John drove me to meet you shows what a great guy he was. I miss him so much, my life is boring now. You are such a doll and I hope things are still going well in your life and continue to do so! I don't get on here much even when it is working, lol. Hugs to you!

by gerryb 05 Apr 2013

Debra, so thinking of you! And praying for you. You don't realize how many people around the world are thinking of & praying for you. Hugs & love!

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 05 Apr 2013

Thank you, I do know there are a great many and it makes my heart soar.

by asterixsew Moderator 05 Apr 2013

Debra lovely to hear from you. Have a cyber hug from me and keep taking care. Hope you can get the computer solved somehow. Positive thoughts from me x Caroline

1 comment
leenova54 by leenova54 05 Apr 2013

Thank you! Right now the computer is the least of my problems.