by smithandsmith 16 Sep 2011

YOU SHOULD READ THIS! (I did not write this. It made me cry)

.by Kim Rodgers on Friday, September 16, 2011 at 2:26pm.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage

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by juanitadenney 20 Mar 2013

Thanks for sharing this with us. So sad.

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by dec716 19 Mar 2013

WOW!!!

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by marianb 19 Mar 2013

Thank you

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by kazza 19 Mar 2013

Wow what a story!

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by holly12 19 Mar 2013

This is a beautiful story & some awesome woman. Thanks for sharing. Arlene

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by noah 19 Mar 2013

oh my what a touching story .That wife was very AWESOME!!!a good example for sure

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by tilde01 19 Mar 2013

very touching.

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by sukira 19 Mar 2013

Still have tears in my eyes. Great story. Rachel

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by sukira 19 Mar 2013

Still have tears in my eyes. Great story. Rachel

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getEdited - SELECT
by rescuer Moderator edited 19 Mar 2013

Thank you
I know it is an old post, but a mother's love is beautiful! The mother must have known the pain her child would have without her if he also hated his father.

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by rmj8939 19 Mar 2013

WOW is all I can say. How true.

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by lidiad 19 Mar 2013

Thank you, Lee
Hugs, Lidia

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by mysew1325 17 Sep 2011

oh my..

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by mary51 17 Sep 2011

This is so sad and beautiful!!!! It made me think about my situation, my husband got very skinny, sometimes, when I knew he was not looking at me, i cried, seen this man so thin, but doctors were telling us it was just depression(that was what he told me), at the end the autopsy said cancer, and now sometimes in my loneliness and awful days think if he knew about it and did not want to tell me, I will know when we get together again.Thank you for sharing it

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by theduchess 17 Sep 2011

Thanks for sharing this.

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by sadp 17 Sep 2011

WOW, sniff, sniff!!............

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by smithandsmith 17 Sep 2011

I read this three times and each time it broght tears of joy and happiness. Lets do those small things and make a big difference. This site has dones a lot of those special small things for many , everyday. It's those little flowers, or that small comment and just being here for each other. Thank you cuties for being here and sharing every day.
Hugs Lee

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by terriweistra 17 Sep 2011

Wow, that made me cry! I think we should all take time in our busy lives to love, laugh and care for those that are dear to us!!! Thank you for the reminder!!!

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by snowbird42 17 Sep 2011

WOW that is all i can say it is the litte things that matter...soozie

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by kathyjt 17 Sep 2011

thanks for sharing.

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by airyfairy 17 Sep 2011

Wow - having gone through two divorces in the past this was an extremely difficult read. Thank you Lee for this. Hugs Sarah.

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by pennifold 16 Sep 2011

It's what we give to others that make our lives worthwhile. Love Chris

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