by rescuer Moderator 25 May 2014

Without causing all sorts of hurt feelings...so keep it kind and civil please -- I want to ask for some helpful answers and for some cooperation.

Before I begin -- I do know if we had instructions or a FAQ page it would help newer Cuties but I am not posting about newer Cuties.
I would like to know if you all have any ideas how we as a community of Cuties can encourage all that receive help -- to reply or acknowledge the help. I am not talking about new Cuties that do not know how to access the answers or comments -- I am talking about Cuties (some that have been here for many years) that have replied before but don't always reply now. It is so frustrating for many of the Cuties that spend their time to help -- only to find they do not know if the person even bothered to read the answers. I am afraid it is causing some to stop helping. It makes some feel as if their time is not valued. It has become such a problem that some have chosen not to view Q&A or Community at all. I have had many Cuties tell me so in PM's.

Speaking of PM's many are not answering PM's. Are there that many Cuties that do not know how to access the PM's?
Also, I believe that if someone answers a question, adds a comment or posts a compliment on a Project, they deserve a flower and a reply of some sort. I know flowers are not important to some Cuties -- but for other Cuties it is the only positive thing they get in life. We do not always know what other's go through nor do we always know their needs. So please, even if it is not important to you -- give a flower to someone. They took the time to post, take the second it takes to click and click the flower. They may really NEED the boost.
Thanks for reading. Hugs to all!

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by jussyc edited 27 May 2014

I always reply or thank every Cutie who has left a comment on my projects or questions. Not only does this fill me with pride & confidence, this is how I have made many sewing cyber friends & Cyber Flower Waterers. Maybe because there have been many changes over the past few years that some Cuties seem to be lost from how they used to use the site. For me I miss the comments tab that allowed you to see responses.I know now to just click my name. Whilst there are many Cuties that visit daily to get there Cutie fix, there are many that visit weekly. Many important posts or latest info that "The Mods" have posted get lost, maybe change the fifth tab to "The Moderators" then if you need to know something you can click straight away. This will also help out poor Rescuer and the other lovely mods to have to stop TTT older posts or get frustrated at the same questions being asked :) As for not thanking or acknowledging help, Manners cost nothing and I have no answers. Good luck, Hugs Jussy :) *4all

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 27 May 2014

Hugs and flowers for you Jussy. I agree that it would be easier to have answers to questions about the site in one location. We can hope for that and until then -- just know when we "ttt" it is because someone needs to read it. ;)

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by greysewist Moderator 26 May 2014

Okay, how's this for an idea? Can lots of us ask an actual question, bookmark it or whatever you do to find it again, and make a point of replying to that same post to set an example, in any way you'd like to see it done, whether individually, or as a blanket: 'thanks, I found the answer'? We could even draw attention to the fact that we did it to show how we would like to see it done by others. Perhaps if others see this behaviour frequently enough, it will sink in that this should be the norm :)

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

I LOVE this idea!
Thank you!

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by sewist1 26 May 2014

After answering questions I check back with anticipation to see that it has helped the person and mostly there isn't even acknowledgement. There are a few cuties who respond every time but the others don't bother so why ask in the first place?

2 comments
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

I do get a lot of joy from helping people. Perhaps we expect that others are as excited as we are about learning new things or find designs we want or need.
I wonder sometimes why I am so disappointed...I suppose I have set my expectations too high. It does take quite a bit of "the wind out of my sails" so to speak when I discover some just don't seem to care. I could try to focus on it being their loss -- but in fact it is also my loss. I lose the happiness that I usually find helping others whenever I feel I have helped no one and wasted my valuable time.
Hugs, flowers and thanks for the reply.

sewist1 by sewist1 28 May 2014

Yes I like to be able to help people out as well and get deflated when there is no reply. I don't need to be thanked profusely but to know the answer has helped is enough.

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by muflotex 26 May 2014

well said, even with limited time or on the run, sprinkel flowers and help as you can 8-) and do not be to shy to press buttons on you computer to give flowers or answers, we all learn ´something new all the time

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

So true! Flowers for you

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by gerryvb 26 May 2014

thank you for bringing this up, and for all you do :)

2 comments
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Thank you Gerry for all the love you have for Cuties. I may not do the "freebies" but I always love to water your garden. I even pop in to your posts sometimes just to give you more flowers.

airyfairy by airyfairy 27 May 2014

Great to 'see' you Gerry. Hugs

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by babsie 26 May 2014

I agree and make a point of reading posts and give flowers. Sometimes there are a list of names without a single flower given. Hugs to all Cuties.

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Hugs, flowers and my thanks to you.

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by suziequee 26 May 2014

Well said. I'm a newbee. Haven't had to ask for help yet, but know the day will come. I was taught that it's polite to say thank you. Be it for a gift or a request for help. It's unfortunate that more people either weren't taught this or forgot. Shame that they need to be reminded.I think the flowers are very nice. If only cause it tells me I've read that post. But a thank you is personal. Cost nothing and just brighten someone's day. I even say thanks to my family if they do some little thing for me or anyone that I know. I feel good about doing this.

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Thank you Suzie. I am sure you will be one of those that goes back to say, "Your answer worked" and thank you for the flowers. It makes me feel good whenever I give them.

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by shozo1271 26 May 2014

I always add flowers when I read a posting. Even when I only read the original post and not all the comments. I know we all love our flower gardens and what fun it is watching it grow. I love this group, I know there are some wonderful people only a click away if we ever need help or a question answered or even just encouragement! **More FLOWERS to all**

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

I love giving you flowers! I can always tell that you have given flowers and it makes it just that much nicer to give one to you.

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by spendlove Moderator 26 May 2014

I've just followed the link in a freebie thread. I was the 14th person to say thank you. It was obvious that the person who started the thread hadn't been back to it so I gave the other 13 people a flower. I've not really bothered about this before, but now I'm not so sure!
When I posted designs in DBC I always looked back and flowered the comments. I enjoyed reading them for the feel good factor and always answered the questions. I drew the line at posting a "thank you" for every single comment though - it just gets silly!

3 comments
jrob by jrob 26 May 2014

I think that is totally acceptable, Sue. The real purpose of this was to get responses from folks who ask questions in the Q&A to determine whether we "help" or not. It wasn't specifically for a thank you as much as "Your response was helpful" or "That didn't work, but I appreciate that you tried".
I know that you are always helpful in the Q&A and I appreciate the time you devote to doing it, but wish the recipient would say so.

spendlove by spendlove 26 May 2014

Thanks!

rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Thank you Jerrilyn. I don't want people to think this is about saying "thank you" It is about saying something -- anything that will let us know we can stop looking for solutions now or we need to provide more help.
Thank you Sue for ALL you do to help Cuties and especially all you do for me!

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by pennifold 26 May 2014

Hi Rescuer, I'm not sure how to get across to people to say thanks either. I always give flowers and comment on anything someone has written on my posts. I also say thankyou to everyone who commented. I remember back when I started on here I just hit everything that came up with the little HAND symbol to work out the site. It must be really hard for some to work the site out and I know you try your best to inform each one. Please be assured of my continuous regard for all the moderators do for us. Love Chris

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Thank you Chris your love and support means so much! Thank you also for always trying to help the Cuties with questions.

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by anssmile 26 May 2014

Hi

I do not know the answer to your question. Yes, I actually spend quite a bit of time doing research on the computer to answer a question for a fellow cutie, and it would be nice to know whether the cutie's problems were solved by any of the solutions offered by the rest of cuties. I even wrote small tutorials, (which took a lot of time for me) but did not get feedback to say whether they were helpful, so I stopped doing that.

Good luck in finding a solution! And I for one love my flowers...

3 comments
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Several of us Cuties have spent hours trying to help and we never get a reply at all. I wonder if they read the answers at all. Sometimes I wonder if Dementia has taken hold and they have forgotten they asked a question.

anssmile by anssmile 26 May 2014

At least I learned a lot from answers given by other cuties, even if no one knows if the originator of the question's problem was solved!

rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Excellent point!

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by eggyannie 26 May 2014

I always read the comments left on my postings and always answer any Q's there but often i wonder if the reply has been read by the person asking in the first place. as many times there has been no thanks or acknowledgement for the reply. and yes it can be frustrating when i have gone into greater detail for them simply to be ignored. But that is life and i will continue to reply and help others where ever i can with my hint and tips and leave flowers as a thank you to all who leave a comment for me.
It is also my way of saying thank you to those who have helped me along the path of life and eased those bumps for me and who still take the time to contact and ask if all is ok or just have a general chat.
In places where i do not leave a comment for others i will still leave a flower just to let me know i have been there and i can return if i want an update as i can still see that little flower shining as i scroll down.

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

I love the way you look at life!
I do still try to help, but it would be much nicer if I knew they fixed the issue days earlier or if they gave up.

Flowers are a wonderful expression of love here. Thank you

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by meganne 26 May 2014

Guilty!
I apologise for any of the times I did not get back to my posts and reply to everyone..... sometimes there just aren't enough hours in every day, especially when another digitising request comes in to do and I get so involved I often skip whatever it was I was doing and then I may even forget about my post. But as soon as I remember I do go and give everyone (who replies) a flower, even if not a personal reply.
I will try and be more diligent in future.
Hugs n roses, Meganne

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Hugs -- I DO understand about being busy.
It can get hard to review all one's comments and posts.
I do try to flower posts -- especially those in Projects when I love it but I don't have enough time to post.

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by airyfairy 26 May 2014

I was not going to reply to this post as those of you who know me, know that this is one of my 'things'. If people have time to go to the trouble to ask a question, surely they can be polite and answer. When I first came to Cute there was no one to 'show' me around the site, I just sat and found out how things worked - the same as we all did then. Flower & hugs for all. Sarah

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spendlove by spendlove 26 May 2014

If we all found out how everything worked, it couldn't have been that difficult, could it? I wish people would realise that is is really worthwhile finding out!

airyfairy by airyfairy 26 May 2014

Thank you Sue.

shirley124 by shirley124 26 May 2014

It took me awhile to work out how the site worked. I am ever so pleased to have come across this wonderful site. All you great cuties are my extended family. Flowers to you all. Shirley

rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

I sat quietly for years reading everything I could about the site and embroidery. I suppose that is one reason I didn't post many questions about the site or embroidery when did finally post.
Hugs and flowers too

airyfairy by airyfairy 27 May 2014

And we are so pleased you did

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by basketkase 26 May 2014

I am so happy to see this posting.....I know a lot of us wonder if any answers are helping people. I used to have the time to thank everyone with a comment when they left a comment on my projects, but I don't have the time right now to do that, but I always go in and give "flower thank you's". I wouldn't be close to how far I have come without Veronika's website and all the cuties.....I am forever grateful for all the help and support I have received and thank God for the wonderful and tactful moderators...you all rock!!

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rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Thank you dear Vickie for the flowers and for all you do. We know you read your posts -- you reply. Big hugs!

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by eyeztodiefor10 26 May 2014

Hello Cute siblings! I've read all the posts but still have no idea how to make someone use their manners. Perhaps us oldies have been here so long and the feeling of family is so strong we tend to take stuff for granted. I've noticed in the past six months or so there are a ton of responses to posts with no flowers at all. Sometimes there are 8 or ten in a row flower free in some posts. I really hate all those zeros so I've tried to hit every zero and others that I come across. I understand you are looking for responses of any kind, not just thanks. Sometimes we forget that there are real people behind those posts and also forget they have gone out of their way to help someone. I seriously doubt you will hurt anyone's feelings with this post as it isn't directed at anyone specific. I too, find myself saying thank you to my dog and cat. So happy I'm not alone! I also tell them excuse me and apologize when I've unintentionally stepped on a tail or bumped into them. The vast majority of us have been taught to use our manners and do just that here and in real life. Perhaps if we could try to remember there are real people behind the posts and they have feelings maybe it will get better. I've been here a long time and do my best to respond, specially when I'm the one asking a question. This community by far is the best and most caring online community on the web, or so I believe. We just need to remember the golden rule. (Do they still teach about that one?) It works well in every situation online or for real. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. A reminder now and then is good for everyone!
Meri

2 comments
Leaha by Leaha 26 May 2014

When I first joined I didn't know what the flowers were for or how to give them. Now I do and I like the idea, as I read all of these and the new additions, I'm learning more. Thank you for that. :)

rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Thank you Meri. Perhaps this post will help people remember that none of us get paid to help out -- we do it because we are family. Hugs

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by manami 26 May 2014

I always give a reply and flowers. It's so nice to see our garden growing! Love and hugs, Yoriko

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

I do love to water the gardens for all Cuties. Thank you Yoriko for all you do here.

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by highlandermom 26 May 2014

Thanks all for sharing I have felt everyone of your comments. I know thank you don't hurt no one and I try to reply and tell myself don't get long winded so to speak. BTW I am on the stairway that Jrob mentioned which way do I go most the time but flowers goes and a small comment. Unless I feel person is snotty,into themself, can't bother etc. Then I refrain. Hugs to all and may your garden be sown with kindness it doesn't take that long to click on flower or reply if you asked for something.

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

Thank you and you are right -- it does not take long to click a flower or reply.

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by sewilso 25 May 2014

I think this community does seem more closely knit, I see flowers given, and helpful suggestions when asked. I am just glad we're all here and have each others input to refer to, and would like to thank everyone here for being fellow hobbyist, no matter what venue whether it be sewing, embroidering, cooking, etc.
Hugs to all! Sharon

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Hugs and thanks to you

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by marjialexa Moderator 25 May 2014

I share the frustration as well, when people don't bother to even recognize that others have gone out of their way to help them. I see someone looking for a design, and quite a few take the time to point them to sites where one is available for free, but no answer is ever forthcoming as to whether any of them worked or not, if any of that time taken was helpful at all. Same goes for machine problems, or site problems. One does not have to give a comment on each and every answer to the question, but one simple posting under the question asked, like "yay, I found it", or "I got the download problem solved" would go a long way to letting those who spent their time explaining something feel like it was helpful, or time not wasted. As another person already said here, if you have the time to ask the question, you should have the time to type a simple line like, "thanks for the help, got the problem solved!" That's only good manners, and showing respect for people who are trying to give help to others. It's kindness that makes this forum, it's not anyone's "job", nobody is getting paid to answer these questions. If you can say "thanks" to the employee who helps you find the right aisle for the nails in Home Depot, why not here? Perhaps because it's "free" advice, it's not worth anything? Maybe that's why some of us who used to answer a lot of questions don't bother any more, feels like talking to thin air. I'd rather pet a cat, at least I get a purr that way. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it! Hugs, Marji

3 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Well said and thank you for your comment. Hugs

shirley124 by shirley124 25 May 2014

Well said. Shirley

mops by mops 26 May 2014

Well said, that's exactly the point, did it solve the problem. Hugs.

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by vickiannette 25 May 2014

When I first began embroidering, I knew nothing and lived about 700km from the dealer so missed my 'free' lesson. The people on this site have helped enormously so I feel obliged to help others now, if possible. Thanks Rescuer.

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you

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by cfidl 25 May 2014

You have said it nicely. At this point in time we are the closest knit community that I know of. I may be biased of course, however I feel like you do. I will continue to do my best with the follow-up, It is easier with my own posts than posts I comment on. Way back when you could list posts you commented on. Now we can only list our own posts. Anyways, flowers for all! always

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you.
I too miss the ability to look at all of my comments...
Flowers for you

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by jofrog2000 25 May 2014

I enjoy my time spent here. I've asked questions, answered questions, posted projects, admired projects, found new design sites, new friends and free things.
When I feel I know the answer to someone's dilemma, I answer. My choice to spend my time doing that. I go back to see if it has helped, but I do not expect a thank you. Getting one is nice, but again, I chose to post to possibly help with what worked for me.
Not seeing a thank you does not hurt my feelings, or make me think that person has no manners. The web is a big place, and people sometimes don't think from the comfort of their own home about saying it.
Weigh the amount of those who do thank against those who don't, and don't sweat the small stuff. If you get annoyed at not seeing it, just don't add anything. There are so many bigger issues in our lives, and people who do matter, so do like I do=choose to help or not, certainly add flowers, and thank those who help you. Your choice.
I am talking webwise-in real life I do expect manners to be used. I even thank the dog when he listens to me!

5 comments
lori2 by lori2 25 May 2014

well said

rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

While I agree that there are bigger issues -- if a Cutie asks for help and they never reply -- how do we know if they have been helped? Should we continue to look for solutions? We aren't really looking for the words "thank you" although that would be very nice...we are looking for any reply that says "I have seen your comment" so we know that we can move on.

anssmile by anssmile 26 May 2014

Hi, I agree with rescuer. It is not necessarily about the thank you (though that is much appreciated) but about knowing the question has been answered and the cutie's problem was solved.

kmac by kmac edited 26 May 2014

Well said jofrog 2000!

jofrog2000 by jofrog2000 26 May 2014

Then we don't know. It's their loss if they don't continue the discussion because they might get more possible solutions. If I run across something pertaining to a subject later on, I might go back and add something (if I can find the post) but again, that's my choice to spend my time doing that. Meanwhile, there's things to sew, projects to oo and ah and drool over.

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by gerryb 25 May 2014

You don't know how many people I tell about cute! I am NO computer whiz, as you well know, but wondered about a tab for "site map" I do use that on some sites in order to find things. Sometimes it helps, sometimes not., It took me a while (way back when!) to figure out how to find all my posts. If I've asked a question & can't find it, I usually go to my posts & then can find it easier. As for PM's...the red number by "inbox" sure catchs my attention, so hopefully others will catch on! (no pun intended) I do usually ask questions in the Q&A section, so go there to check on answers, if I don't see it in the community board. You gals & Ms V are doing a great job. If you look at the overall hundreds of people coming here, I think we are mostly appreciative...at least I like to think that! Have a great weekend!

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you. I know there are things that would make this site easier to navigate -- but right now we have what we have. We have been asked by many why this person or that person never replies. That is why I thought I would ask here...
Have a great weekend and hugs to you

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by shirley124 25 May 2014

Saying thanks and getting back to someone is a great bug bear of mine. Not only here but with family and friends. They say let me know if this does not help... it does not help... you let them know... you hear nothing.... am still waiting to hear back from one niece. It gets very frustrating. When my eldest GD was only crawling I would ask her for something and say Thanks when she gave it to me. Son-I-L said 'you always say thanks to her and she is only a baby' I replied 'well that is how you teach them.' While it is nice to receive flowers, it is much nicer to have a reply or comment to your questions etc on cute. I sure hope this message of yours RESCUER gets through to all cuties. Shirley

5 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you. I hope so too.
Hugs and flowers

asterixsew by asterixsew 25 May 2014

Shirley what a great reply

shirley124 by shirley124 25 May 2014

Thanks

graceandham by graceandham 25 May 2014

After my older son learned to say Mama and Dada, he learned ball (any toy) and ta-te which he always said after each bite of food. It took me quite a while to figure out that he was saying thank you for each spoonful. Yes, he learned it because we thanked him for each thing he handed to us.

shirley124 by shirley124 26 May 2014

Yes it does pay to teach them from when they are babies.

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by dragonflyer 25 May 2014

I'm back to flower up all the Cuties who have taken the time to post since I posted earlier...flowers and thanks to all of you! Hoping all of you U.S Cuties have a wonderful Memorial Day holiday and give thanks to the many veterans who serve our great country...flowers for them, too!

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Well said! Thanks for giving me the chance to give you another flower. Have a safe and wonderful Memorial Day.

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by mad14kt 25 May 2014

Thanks for reminding me of the Q&A. Oh how I remember when I first joined and many of the cuties seemed like they sat near the computer because soon as you asked a question. Answers were popping up all over ;D I do know that their are many that are using other social medias to get help. However rescuer; just posting this should let others know that they are welcomed and encouraged to jump in and make their-self at home. Including the following of rules and guidelines so that we are stay in the SAFETY LANE.

Cute Embroidery is HOME for me...this is where my embroidery began - FIESTA ;D

2 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you. It is home for me as well.
I used to answer very quickly. I have spent a lot of time in front of the computer -- before I did it for my job. Now, I am here more because of moderating.
I do hope people will jump in and become part of the Cute family. Hugs and a flower for you too.

mad14kt by mad14kt 27 May 2014

Thanks ;D - I feel as everything is being laid up front now concerning (Rules/Guidelines). The newbies will know what is and not allowed. And the oldies will get refresher courses, LOL :) This place has been FAMILY to many CUTIES ;D

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by rachap 25 May 2014

I have often wondered why one can't take the time to post a quick thank you if they had the time to post a question. I guess we need to remember the look our Mother probably gave us and we probably gave our childern while waiting for us to say thank you to someone who had just given us a gift!

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Perfect! Thank you!

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by noah 25 May 2014

OK Mommy i will do it starting NOW!!hugs

3 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I am not quite old enough to be your mommy...but I wonder if you have any ideas that will help Cuties answer or reply to the help they receive.

noah by noah 25 May 2014

nope nothing that hasn't already been written .I was trying to bring this to the top for you in my being funny Mommy

rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

You do a great job of helping out Carolyn. I will try hard not to send you to your room. lol

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by suziequee 25 May 2014

I rarely even DON'T give a flower. I have to totally not agree with the writer. Other than that, I think flowers are a wonderful thing that need to be answered.

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

That is the only time I do not give flowers too. If someone has something horrid to say or sometimes when I am reciting Terms and Conditions of this site -- I will not flower that...but otherwise, if I read it I will give flowers.
Hugs and thanks!

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by irenewayne 25 May 2014

I always check in on my questions as I get excited to see where the answers have come from (do I need to get a life?? (LOL) & always say thank you. I have had so much help from cuties everywhere (including yourself) & an very grateful. I also didn't realise that there was a Q&A here. I will be visiting that section more often now.
Irene

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Being on Cute is a good life! Thank you for always checking back and replying to those that help you. It makes this place a happier place.
Good to know some (including you) didn't realize there was a Q&A tab. That makes me wonder how many do not know there is a community tab...

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by susiesembroidery 25 May 2014

It is sometimes difficult to think that your answer would have any value - especially when you are not capable to do very much yourself. I do try to always say "Thank you" and give flowers. It makes me happy to see somebody out there thought enough of my comment to bless me with a flower. So I hope we will continue to value our friendship over the distance though this lovely Cuties Site. Thank you for the opportunity to be part of this community.

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

A flower and a hug for you with my thanks for commenting.

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by jerrib 25 May 2014

I think those that have tried to help another Cutie only to find that they have not bothered to go back to their post, to read and acknowledge that they have read the posting, have given up on trying to help. If you ask for help, then please let those that have taken the time to help you, know that it was appreciated. It might not be the help you wanted, but it may help someone else.
I really think there should be a FAQ tab and any new members, must read and acknowledge that they have read what is in the postings, before they can become a member. There are so many things that are repeated over and over, that could be posted in a FAQ tab, so they are easily accessed.
I appreciate all the help that I have been given and enjoying reading what others are asking help with. It might not pertain to me at the moment, but I have found out so many interesting things, that I didn't know.
Keep up the good work and know that all you and the other moderators do are appreciated by most on the site.
Hugs Jerri

2 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you dear Jerri. We can always hope for a FAQ page. That would make it easier for the new ones. It the ones that have been here a while that I worry about.
Hugs and a flower for you too.

eyeztodiefor10 by eyeztodiefor10 26 May 2014

actually, it would be helpful to all of us Cuties, old and new! I'm sure there are still things I don't know about this site and I've been here for years! lol
Meri

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by theduchess 25 May 2014

I also have no answer. I have however taken the time to leave compliments, Thanks, and flowers when anyone has helped me out. Sometimes this is conveyed by private message but I do know I have acknowledge the effort that was made. I love coming here. Several members have been very helpful in making a design that was needed by me.I realize it takes them time and is no easy task. I apperciate all the effort it takes to keep this site going and it's a tremendous task to also keep peace with everyone.I hope I have never hurt anyone's feelings . Stella

3 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Dear sweet Stella, I don't think you could offend anyone. You have one of the kindest hearts I know.
I also know that you always say thanks. I hope other Cuties -- that do not -- will learn from your kind ways.

theduchess by theduchess 25 May 2014

Thank you so much for your kind words. I just love the "feeling " I get when I do anything nice. I do have to look in the mirror each day, and now that I am at jumping off point in life I do need to make points,you never know what people will remember you by.

rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I know how I will remember you -- as I always have here. You are The Duchess! Everything you do and say says you are in fact royalty. I know we must all move past this life at some point -- but I would miss you so! Cuties, just be sure to remember that none of us know when it is our "time to go" so we all should live as if today is our last day to do something kind, caring, and wonderful!

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by grandmamek 25 May 2014

It is a dilemma that I do not know what the answer could be. I do not comment on a lot of posts but do so on others but they all get flowers whether I comment or not. Hugs for you for doing a terrific job of moderating. Also hugs for all the moderators for your patience and your knowledge in keeping this site safe for us all. Mary

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rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you Mary -- hugs and flowers -- always!

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by graceandham 25 May 2014

After someone wrote about the bandwidth Miss V. pays for, I quit replying for awhile and just flowered. Now I'm back to my chatty self. I guess it bothers me that something that was just a momentary thank you is taking up space in perpetuity! Also, what is manners to some is not to others, as I had to learn being a Southern girl with Yankee family. Customs vary. And, some of us are simply more close-mouthed. staying in the background, but benefitting from the wisdom in the site, and the beauty. Now, lots of times, I flower just because someone is fairly new and has a low flower count!

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rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thanks for commenting.
Ms. Veronika does not mind paying for any comments embroidery related or for any of the other areas of the site she has set up. That is why they are there.
However, some comments are not needed and do just take up space. Those posts are most often deleted -- thereby taking up virtually no space. That said a "thank you" with a flower is not enough data to make a difference and I am sure she would rather we all be kind and polite to each other. She pays for lots of space to have Cuties send users to other sites for freebies... I am sure she will let us all know if we need to stop giving flowers or saying thank you.
Cuties, I would hope if someone helps you out or compliments your work that you would say "thank you" as that seems to be a universal way of living a polite and caring life.
That does not mean we all need to comment on every single post. You replied to my post here and I am responding. That is all I mean.

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by shilly 25 May 2014

TU for reminding us of the kindness it shows to others when we answer; don't we all feel good when someone replies to a post we've made??? Now let me hand out a new flower for each reply. That didn't take long! Perhaps we get lazy the longer we visit the site and take things too easily. I also wonder whether people are sooo forgetful (not me, hehehe) that they keep flitting in and out of the site without logging in....then, realize it takes effort to sign back in. Please do not stop helping ( those who do), that would defeat the purpose of the group; its one of the reasons we were drawn to it in the first place. I commend you on your vigilance and willingness to make ALL feel welcome and have a sense of belonging to something that is worthwhile...

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rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you. I am "always logged in" so I don't have that issue. When I open Cute I have set it to log in. So, that is a perspective I had not thought about. Thanks for bringing that up.

pennifold by pennifold 25 May 2014

Me too Rescuer, I'm always logged in! Love Chris

gerryb by gerryb 25 May 2014

I can click on the window that opens in cute & then just click on my "name" & it logs me in. However, can't seem to do that for the other sites. But still go daily & log in & out! After the last round of computer trouble, I don't like to remain logged in; even if I did not get my trouble from cuteemb!!

rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I remain logged in to all the sites...but then I don't have as many issues with computers as you have had. I too would be very careful. We wouldn't want anyone stealing your account here and posting without your accent or your consent. ;)

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by mops Moderator 25 May 2014

Flower for you! I don't know the answer either.
I like to help with digitising problems, but there are a number of people I won't help again. They don't have to bury me in flowers or compliments, just "that helps" or something similar will show I did not waste my time.

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rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

A flower for you too! I do know how you feel. I have tried to help many other's and only a portion come back to thank me. It does make we think twice about spending my time helping. That is what I am hoping to fix with this post. I feel like it might be attempting to change the tide...but some improvement is better than none -- right?

graceandham by graceandham 25 May 2014

Oh, Ms. Mops! I have learned so much from your answers to others about digitizing. Please don't stop on their account(or FOR my account). You teach on the graduate school level!

mops by mops 26 May 2014

Thank you Ms Graceandham for reminding me that others might be helped, not just the person asking the question. Can't give a flower to your comment but you deserve a bunch.

anssmile by anssmile 26 May 2014

Hi, I learned a lot by reading your answers to others. Thank you for the time to answer and the detail you go into!

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by lori2 25 May 2014

I have been coming to this site for several years now, and until recently didn't know how easy it was to give a flower or comment. I now try to give flowers when I read posts. I didn't know it was so important. I also didn't feel I had anything extra to add to a conversation, as someone had already said what I was thinking. I find it hard to put my feelings in print, but I do feel your pain when you're hurting, and laugh at the funny stories you tell. Thanks to all.

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rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Adding a flower to the comments that you read is always a good idea. If someone already said what I felt -- then I usually just add a comment under theirs saying I agree.
A flower for you

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by carolpountney 25 May 2014

Well now, what does one say, I suppose you can't teach people to be polite, dont know how to solve your problem, Im not sure whether I can answer a PM I have sent them but dont know whether they have been received as there is no indication that the receiver has received them, sometimes you dont need a answer just a flower????

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rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I am a bit confused (a lack of good sleep does that for me lol) What do you mean when you say, "Im not sure whether I can answer a PM?"

What I mean by an answer in the forum is -- if I ask for help finding a design, when other Cuties look and post a comment or answer my question...I should thank them for the help -- even if it is not the help I wanted.
You are right though. Some posts only "need" a flower.

carolpountney by carolpountney 26 May 2014

OK, I answered a PM but not sure if I did the correct thing as it is still in my message box does the answer stay in message box ???or disappear once submitted sorry to confuse you am also confused, have a nice day.

rescuer by rescuer 26 May 2014

As long as you have a number in red -- you have an unread PM.

carolpountney by carolpountney 27 May 2014

Thank you,you are a great help

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by dragonflyer 25 May 2014

A bunch of flowers to you and all that have posted to your request...I feel your pain...and for those who don't or can't reply to each comment that is made...a quick flower to all and a single comment thanking all of those Cuties who took the time to leave their kind words...

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rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thank you! Hugs

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by Leaha 25 May 2014

I'm not sure there is an answer to this conundrum. Courtesy just isn't as prevalent as it was. Takes too much time, isn't necessary, no one cares. etc any label can be added. The gift of time and answering maybe even owed to some people. Wish you luck on this one!

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Thanks -- it will take a bit of luck.
O do hope that more people will realize it IS important and it does not take that long to say thank you and leave a flower.

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by tilde01 25 May 2014

I've been here several years and didn't know that there was a Q&A section. Knew about all the others, maybe its because of the color at the top. Its not in a color that draws your attention. For those with failing eye sight, it is a very hard color to see.

3 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

It hasn't always been there. It is primarily there to ask questions about this site (at least that is my understanding about why we have that section) so not everyone really needs to go there. It just seems many do not respond after they ask a question there.
There are some things you can do to make your screen easier to read. Ask a question in Q&A about that I will gladly help as I am sure many others will as well.
Flowers for you.

tilde01 by tilde01 25 May 2014

Took your advise, and asked a question in Q&A. PS: I had already given flowers to everyone when I made my original comment. I feel it is the only polite thing to do and it also lets me know that I'm interested in that subject.

rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I know you are one of the ones watering Cute gardens. Thank you -- you will never know how much it means to some of our Cuties.
BTW I answered your question and gave you another flower too.

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by asterixsew Moderator 25 May 2014

I have read your comments and a flower 2u 4 them. I am with you and Sue with your comments but cant give you an answer.

2 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

A flower for you for your reply and a hug too.

asterixsew by asterixsew 25 May 2014

Thanks

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by blueeyedblonde 25 May 2014

I find it frustrating to read in community and give flowers but they don't stick until I give flowers and right after giving them go to the next or prevfious page and then go back and they stay.

2 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I am sorry you are having issues with the flowers. I have more issues with that when site updates occur. The worst is when I try to use Internet Explorer. Chrome gives me fewer issues. I never use the "back" key as that will take me back to the page before I gave the flower. It is still there though. I just would need to refresh the page to see it.

jrob by jrob 25 May 2014

Press F5 before you leave the page. That will clear up your dilemma.

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getEdited - SELECT
by jrob Moderator edited 25 May 2014

A lap full of flowers for you!


Want to borrow my crystal ball? I'm sorry, Super(wo)man, but I think you are spitting into the wind. ;)


I check back four or five times sometimes to see if I should follow up with my answer, but maybe they find the answer in another manner and just move on. They may even forget that they asked a question? Sometimes, I chuckle here because I'm like the joke of the 3 sisters who lived together. Once upon a time there were three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, and they all lived together.


One night the 96 year old ran a bath. She put one foot in and paused. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yelled.


The 94 year old hollered back, "I don't know. I'll come and see." She started up the stairs and stopped. She shouted, "Was I going up or coming down?"


The 92 year old sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sister’s shook her head and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," and knocked on wood for good measure.


Then she yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."


I guess we will just need to knock on wood!

8 comments
spendlove by spendlove 25 May 2014

LOL

rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I do spit into the wind and bang my head on a brick wall as well as hold my breath until I turn blue -- a lot! I guess my hope is that a conversation about this might bring solutions or understanding. I know that is a bit euphoric of me...but I think it is worth a try.
I love your story -- I am the one on the stairs -- I forget which sister that makes me. ;)

crafter2243 by crafter2243 25 May 2014

Typical Jerilyn. Love love love your story. Rescuer is your favorite color blue? Joke aside I wish I would have an answer for you. Already only a few people will see this since you posted it in Chat.

jrob by jrob edited 25 May 2014

I thought I would come up with an answer if I gave it more time, but I can't even think of a suggestion in any form. I know that even my 2 year old granddaughter says "thank you" for everything, so it isn't an unteachable skill. Didn't mean to be fli

rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

Yes crafter -- I do like blue...blue skies and blue waters and blue flowers. Not so much the Blue Smurf look or a black and blue bruise from banging me head. LOL
Jerrilyn, I LOVE your sense of humor! Don't ever worry about making me laugh...I enjoy all you add to this wonderful site! I do know this is an uphill battle. I do honestly want to know if there is a solution though.

mad14kt by mad14kt 25 May 2014

LOL - Jerilyn I don't know who those three 90 something sisters are (wink) (wink) (wink) - ROFL!!! ;D

shirley124 by shirley124 25 May 2014

Great story. I have read this to many people. I always get a laugh. Shirley

Leaha by Leaha 26 May 2014

Love this story and at times have been all three :)

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by blueeyedblonde 25 May 2014

I'm glad you have posted this as I think some don't realize the boost it gives others.

3 comments
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

I know of some that have no other joy in life than to see the flowers they receive. I do know many Cuties that thrive when their gardens grow. Thankfully, I do not "need" them -- but I do love the flowers and appreciate each one. It is wonderful that a "simple" flower can combat the dreary solitude, constant care for the needy, negative feedback environment, and in some cases abuse or neglect that our dear Cuties live with each day.
Hugs and flowers for you and all Cuties.

asterixsew by asterixsew edited 25 May 2014

You might not feel that you need the flowers but I feel it shows that someone has read what has been said and its a none written comment from them or a reply to the original comment. There have been days over the past winter that my only communication with the outside world has been Cute so the flowers to my questions shows people have read and replied.

rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

In any case -- I need the love. ;)
I think we all can benefit from knowing we are not alone. Too many of us are isolated. We do need the friendship and love from Cuties. I think that is why many of us come here and stay...another hug for you.

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by suelyn7 25 May 2014

I too understand your frustration I always try to respond if not individually then I will post a covering thank you in response to lots of help. It is sad that people don't respond and I wish I knew a way to get them to say " thank you"

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

An individual reply is not always needed -- a thank you for all works too. I do appreciate that you try to respond. It makes my day a lot easier too.

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by spendlove Moderator 25 May 2014

I just gave you one! However, I really don't know the answer to your questions. I share your frustration!

1 comment
rescuer by rescuer 25 May 2014

A flower for you and my thanks for the reply.

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