OK cuties to the rescue....I hope! As many of you may know, ( or not ) , my husband and I have no children. It seems that because of this, we are out of touch with a lot of things! For example , and in particular, weddings. I have no siblings, hence no weddings... My husband has 3 siblings and hence we have a few nieces and nephews. We have not made any weddings there either though, because of distance, work, and other commitments. Up until now we have always sent a gift, or money, what ever seemed appropriate at the time. And that has been well received. Now we have a conundrum we do not know how to deal with and could really use some advice. Our niece and her partner have decided to tie the knot (legally). They have been together for 16 years. They are lesbian. They are well off. Our situation is such that we will be expected to attend. (we are now retired, live close, and have no major responsibilities other than our health). Our problem...we have not been to many weddings in the last few years, let alone a gay wedding. What is protocol here? What would be an acceptable gift? We do not want to embarrass them, their family, our ourselves. Any advice will be welcomed. Please help!

You know what I loved at my wedding.. the day after someone arranged a delivery of a complete breakfast at my house ! that was a nice surprise..and maybe with this delivery you could embroder nice napkins with their names (initials) on it or so

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by chenille 08 Feb 2014

This sounds great!

I like weddinggifts as matching bathtowels, with their own monogram. And if it doesn't have to be an embroidered gift. I made lot's of clocks ( it's my job) with the wedding announcement as a clockbackground. Or an lantern to burn a candle, with their names and the date engraved on the glass ( my job too) . But I think they will be happy with any gift that has a personal touch,

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by chenille 08 Feb 2014

I am thinking this also. Thanks!

You know, another thought, since you have no heirs, you might consider giving them something very special, something that has been in your family for a long, long time, that would have meaning for them. Is there an item that connects you that you could give with a note that tells a little history of the item, and why it is given to them with love? You could include that with your embroidered item that says LOVE in a way only you and your husband could.

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by chenille 08 Feb 2014

Good idea but I think that they may be our heirs....

How about offering to make them a customised ring cushion for the ceremony. I have done this a time or two when challenged as to think of what to give as a present. At Christmas I was invited to a couple of do's and I was not sure of what to take and ended up embroidering onto kitchen towels with the name of the houses on. They went down very well.

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by hightechgrammy 02 Feb 2014

I love this idea! That way they could say exactly what they would like on it!

by chenille 08 Feb 2014

Very interesting! I like this.

I agree towels that are personalized are always a big hit. Do share with us (if you like) what you decided upon. Hugs Loralye

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by chenille 08 Feb 2014

Thanks Loralye. I have until October, but thought I should start thinking about this! I will let you know though!
Hugs, Nadyne

I would thinks Sheets:):)

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by chenille 08 Feb 2014

Yes, sheets never go amiss! Thanks.

I would also go for towels - can never have too many. It is not about the money just about a gift that you have embroidered yourself. Have a wonderful time at the wedding.

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by chenille 08 Feb 2014

Thanks. I have until October but I need time!! :-)

I see you have gotten fantastic advice here...go and have a wonderful time and celebrate their happiness! It is not about how much money you spend...I know they will be tickled pink just to have you there to share their day...any gift will just be icing on the cake...give a gift from your heart and it will be cherished for sure.

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by chenille 08 Feb 2014

Thanks! This is so true. I just tend to get panicky. :-)

If you cannot find them registered anyplace -- ask the family. It helps to call and ask "are they registered anyplace?" That way if it is a wedding without gifts, they can let you know at that time. Towels that are monogrammed are always nice. Just be sure to ask about colors.

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by chenille 01 Feb 2014

I will check and see about the registering. Hadn't thought about that one!

by hightechgrammy 02 Feb 2014

Be sure to ask about names too. These days you just never know the wording for married couples!

You already have the advice I would give you. I do not think you could embarrass them so go, have a good time. Since conversations will not revolve around kids and such you may find you have much in common.

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by chenille 01 Feb 2014

Thank you! We have enjoyed their company a lot and do have things in common... dogs for one, they have 6!

They've been together long enough to be all set up for housekeeping. How about a luxury gift, such as a dinner gift certificate or spa certificate or very pretty towels or something personalized with your machine! If their financial situation is better than your own, don't focus on dollars spent, but on love given, emotion expressed.

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by chenille 01 Feb 2014

Thanks so much. I have been agonizing over this. We are very fond of them and some of these ideas are great!

Sometimes it isn't about the gift in monitory means but being there for them for at their wedding. It is difficult to come up with a gift when a couple has been together for a long time as they probably have what they need. Most can use a set of towels or new bedding and if you know what their interests are you should be able to find a design to embroider on a set.

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by chenille 01 Feb 2014

Good idea! Thanks!

Try and see if they are registered anywhere... if they are chose a gift from the registry. If not....well that's a little harder. But that's true with any couple you may not know very well and are not familiar with their likes or dislikes. Being gay doesn't make it any different....sometimes wedding gifts are just plan difficult.
Muffy :)

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by muffy 01 Feb 2014

LOL...great minds think alike sewmom. I was typing this just as your were typing yours.
Muffy :)

by sewmom 01 Feb 2014

Yes : )

by chenille 01 Feb 2014

Thank you! I never thought of the register aspect.

Gay or not, treat it as any other wedding. See if they are registered anywhere for gifts. Department stores, Target, Bed Bath and Beyond. Try to get them something they can use at home or together. But whatever you get, include a gift receipt. Enjoy the wedding!

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by sewmom 01 Feb 2014

More thoughts: since they've been together for so long they probably already have a lot of things for the home, don't let this deter you. After 16 years things get old or need replacing. You could also add special dish pieces to a set they might already have. I still have my wedding dishes but recently added a second casserole dish and more plates.

by sewmom edited 01 Feb 2014

Along those same ideas: towels need replacing a lot so new monogrammed ones would be nice or a set of decorated kitchen towels with a new kitchen gadget.

You would probably have to contact them to see what monogram they would want or you could do first names.

by chenille 01 Feb 2014

Thank you for this! I was told recently by a friend that money is always expected... enough to cover the price of your dinner at the least. To me this just seems impersonal and tacky. I like the idea of crystal /and or china but was not sure. Now I'm thinking stemware with cocktail napkins?

by sewmom 02 Feb 2014

I like the stemware with cocktail napkins idea, very classy!
Personally I don't think money is expected and even if it was I wouldn't give any, I think Dear Abby would agree.