14995
So sorry you and your hubby had to go through all of that. Thank goodness he had you on his side!
62459My daughter is just a second year Nurse still in school and I asked her to read and respond to your story, Annie. This is how she responded:
"Wow! What a story! We learn as nurses that COPD patients should NEVER be put on O2 more than 2L/min. Because the patient can DIE of respiratory alkalosis. We want a COPD pt. O2 sat to be in the upper 80% range. This is low but that is where they live. She said her husband was normally in the 60-70% range? That is deadly low. If I was his nurse, I would have (and any nurse would have) put him on O2 at a low rate of 2L/min. on a nasal cannula (NOT A MASK) and certainly not on 100% 02 (100% O2 requires a doctor's order). Also a COPD patient in the hospital should have his arterial blood gases (ABG's) monitored. This will indicate whether or not the patient is having a ventilation-perfusion mismatch. Meaning, it checks to see if the oxygen he takes in matches the carbon dioxide going out. In poor Annie's husband's case, he had more oxygen going in than carbon dioxide going out. It should be a top priority for nurses and doctors to listen to family members, as they know their loved ones BEST! I wonder if this man is on oxygen therapy at home. I am surprised he can live at 60-70% O2 sat.
The nurse probably inflated the catheter balloon inside the prostate before it entered the bladder. She would have met some resistance, but ignored it. A nurse should NEVER inflate the balloon until urine appears in the catheter tubing. This is evidence the catheter has reached the bladder. Once urine appears, the nurse advances the catheter even more, just to make sure. This is nursing 101! That nurse should be fired and/or sued for malpractice.
This couple certainly should not have to pay for the hospital bills as a result of this nurse's incompetence. Now this poor man will have scarring in his prostate, causing the urethra to narrow. Also indwelling catheters often cause UTI. Older people do not show the normal symptoms of a UTI such as fever, pain, and burning. They become confused and not like themselves. Annie should keep a close eye on him depending on how long ago this incompetent nurse inserted the catheter. "
by eggyannie
16 Oct 2013
thank you so much for all your comments and hubby is now back to his old self at home . Hopefully he will have no further problems. and i get get back into a normal routine again
59617you would have lost him if not for your "acting up" i am a nurse and i was taught to listen to family about patient as they know pt best! hope you called the district nurse and threatened to sue!!!!! And that you don't want that nurse back to your home again! sincerely, lynne in alabama
5165God Bless you! You certainly have been through the wringer. Thank you for being your husbands voice and for being so persistant! Where was his regular Dr? Could you have called in him for help ? Those "professionals" at the hospital sure need a wake up call. Lotttts of hugs sent to you both, I hope you never have to repeat this .
984Sending lots of love your way. I have stories with my disabled son. After many years I found I have to be a "BITCH" from the start and stand over my son & demand or refuse treatment as needed. It's hard work caring for those we love. Lyn. xx
by hightechgrammy
12 Oct 2013
Lyn, I know what you mean about having to be a "B" for your disabled son, ours is 25 years old and we could write a book!
7199Just read youre whole story,.. It made me angry that they did not even take a moment to listen to you. Lucky you know what is good and what is not and you have some training and experience, I would know what to do. For sure I would make a complian about this all, to prevent that other people are experiencing the same. Your husband is soo lucky to have you by his side. But also take a bit care of your self. Big hug send. Linda
146570You go ahead and rant and rave all you wish to...that what we are here for...Glad he is home with you...lots of prayers being said your way...deanna
34246I find it so amazing that a person even a trained medical person doesn't listen to someone who has been around the patient and knows what is going on. My mother in law was on her deathbed and we had to argue with the charge nurse to remove the IV since it was infiltrating and doing no good except making her arm all bruised and making the bed wet and bloody. I finally just reached over and took it out and shut the machine off so it wouldn't beep. When the nurse came back and saw how much better my MIL was resting she said ok leave it out. She wanted to know who did it and held it till it stopped bleeding and how did the person know how to do it. I told her I was a lab assistant many years ago and I did it like I learned how . She said thanks, you did a good job. My DH and I held her hand on each side of the bed until she passed. I told her if she was ready to go to Jesus just let it happen and she did. It was such a relief for her after all the problems having several strokes and a bad heart. RIP Mama Ruby.
4436How scarey even if you are trained, but as his carer they should listen to you. My thoughts are with you both. Glad you could vent. Hugs
24342I am so sorry that both of you had to go through that! It is unforgivable that the nurse was so adamant, while being so wrong. She should be reported. You are a wonderful agent for your DH....
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462585I want to thank you - a great deal more than you know - that you have posted this message.
My husband with advanced prostate cancer has a supra-pubic catheter. For 18 months now he has lived with bad-severe irritation that has resulted in severe and debilitating pain most days. It controls our lives. Five weeks ago he had another massive infection and spent another week in hospital, and a new catheter was inserted by a visiting surgeon the day he was discharged. A week later it was still leaking from the catheter site and we spent a day in Emergency where the doctors knew very little about catheters - they didn't even know how to tell what size catheter was used - so he was sent home without any treatment or relief. My worry was that they didn't consult the doctors on the ward who knew him so well. I did mention it but my suggestion was fobbed off with the comment that they had seen his notes on the computer.
The following day I spent by the phone, trying to get help or waiting for return calls. At 3 p.m. the catheter nurse had gone off duty for the weekend and I was told to call the Ambulance Emergency Care Unit. As luck would have it, an officer from Adelaide had been seconded to our unit for the week and he was trained and qualified in catheter changing. He did the job carefully, gently and slowly, and correctly, explaining to us all the time, and then sat with us for nearly two hours, just talking and giving us information that we had never had before. Since that day, exactly four weeks ago, DHDon has had very little irritation and nothing as severe as it had been before, no sign of blood from a damaged bladder and he has had no pain at all. He has had 18 months of misery because the catheters were not inserted correctly by specialists and their specialist nurses, losing blood and gradually becoming more anaemic.
I have no paramedic training or nursing training, but I do know my husband and how his condition and certain medications affect him and I know a lot about catheters now. Like it or not, trained or not, I am now a pretty efficient nurse for DHDon's care.
Thankyou, too, for the tip about having potato crisps after drinking lots of water. I'm sure that DHDon is in for a treat since we seldom have such snacks. I remember you writing once before how you saved your husband after following advice and giving him lots to drink but then needing to supplement the salt intake as well. These days I watch DHDon carefully for the start of any tremors in his hands.
On the personal level - I know exactly how you must feel after that traumatic time - exhausted, angry, spent. On that Friday, four weeks ago, I had two melt-down episodes on the phone, out of the blue, unexpected, and surprising, since I'm not a 'crying person'. That's when I realised I needed to take myself in hand and pull back from the stress - easier to write than do. Watching our closest ones suffer and not being listened to is hugely stressful and it shows in our faces. My one upper in all this is that I'm now four stone lighter - I look like the Saggy Baggy Elephant's great-aunt - and I can get around a lot easier. We take one day at a time, enjoying the good days together and waiting for the bad ones to go, not really knowing when infections or pain will rear their ugly heads again.
I do hope that your burst blood vessel in your eye clears up quickly and well, that it doesn't have any lasting ill-effect and that you can enjoy your husband's company for a long time yet.
There are two very powerful healers on this site. The joy of seeing beautiful ME designs each day and the comfort offered from friends whom we will never meet but who take the time to listen and care.
AlmaG.
by pennifold
12 Oct 2013
AMEN Alma, may you continue to bless others as you bless me every time I read your posts. Love and blessings to you and your hubby. Love Chris
by eggyannie
13 Oct 2013
Thank you so much Alma and just happy that some thing i have mentioned has been of help in caring for your husband
I too had a total melt down but thankfully they now know that i will stand and fight them all if i feel its necessary and they can say what they like. In fact i think i am going to be changing my hubbys catheter for him in future take care of yourself as well hugs .annie
17214I am so proud of you for standing your ground because you knew you were right. What an ordeal you and your husband had to go through because they would not listen to you. I am really upset about this, as it reminds me of many visits we have had with our disabled son - they simply won't believe the parents, and harm is done. AND they we look like the bad guys, simply because people will not admit they have done anything wrong. It's that old blame game, and in the medical world no one will take responsibility for mistakes for fear of lawsuits. I do feel for you, and you were RIGHT! Good for you! I will pray for you and your husband. hugs and more hugs, Jan
5961710818I'm so proud of you for saving your hubby life!! Allbecause of an incompetant nurse who should not be in that profession. Maybe we all need a health proxy for we never know when we'll have to depend on someone who truely loves us to make those decisions. I hope he is healing now and not in pain. You are such a strong brave woman and God was with you. Your hubby is a lucky man in more ways than one.
Meri
15572Dear Annie - I never even heard of a ruptured prostate before!! What a series of calamities you have endured. Thank the Lord you were there for him! Blessing to you both.
6122makes me think we perhaps all need to do some paramedic training.
16529So sorry you had to go through all that! Glad to hear it's over though. My grandfather went into the hospital to have a small mass removed and never came out. He had a stroke, a feeding tube was inserted into his lungs, he developed pneumonia, and then later he painfully and slowly died of an infection. The hospital murdered him if you ask me. I've had so many arguments with doctors and nurses that make me wonder, "How can you be so smart and yet, so stupid?"
300Oh Annie it was wonderful that you were/are there for him and that hes got a great Wife who knows her stuff God bless you Hugs Carolyn
360431What a nightmare you and hubby have been through. I think you are entitled to rant and rave all you want. You should do that to all the agencies involved. Let them know the kind of treatment your husband has received. It is totally uncalled for that the medical profession is this lapse in its judgment and knowhow. Hugs, Mary
33871As I read this I actually got sick to my stomach!! There is NO reason for all that! I can not believe no one will listen to you when you tell them something. This proves my point..don't leave your loved one alone at the hospital! There are so many horror stories, and even deaths, due to people either not reading the instructions, thinking they know what's best or just plain mistakes. Good for you, standing up for hubby!! I do hope you are sending a letter to the hospital administrator about all this! As well as the home health office whose nurse started all this mess!! At least make them think you are going to sue them, even when you're not! Maybe save someone's life. Glad he's better.
35675I'm so glad that you stood up for him when he couldn't do it for himself. He's so lucky to have such a loving, caring wife. I'm sorry that both of you had to go through this, but happy for the outcome- thanks to you!
158553639What a horror story for you and your DH. I'm so glad he is doing better and back home where he can get some great care from you, his DW. Will keep you both in my prayers that he will continue to improve and that you will have the strength to do what is right for you both. God Bless.
16706Any person alone in a hospital without someone - even untrained - to provide some oversight is in danger of negligence. Every patient should have a notebook and, if unable to keep their own notes, someone else to record procedures, meds, times, and names of staff, especially those who ignore instructions or requests. Patients are usually in a "fog" and are unaware of what goes on, let alone when and who. Mistakes are usually caused by human frailty, not purpose, but they do happen.
Protect yourself and your loved ones! These days you can't depend on the system, no matter what you pay.
626It is unfortunate that one can't trust the medical profession to care for a loved one and look at the patients chart for allergies and other health issues. Your husband is fortunate to have had you intercede in his medical care. Praying for you both.
89895Oh my what a week you 2 have had. Thank God you are still together. Isn't it frustrating when the medical professionals won't listen. You live with him and learn how to take care of these conditions as well and some times better. My DH has COPD too. I was not aware that it caused a build up of carbon. Thanks for the info. I keep this in mind. Hope life can be less stressful and hubby will continue to feel better. Hugs for you (I think you deserve a few) Susan
by eggyannie
11 Oct 2013
keep a note of his "normal " blood oxygen level and make sure its on his notes
I am going to get a medic alert bracelet for him for Christmas. with the info on it.
hope the info will help you in the future
25510Oh my goodness. I am so glad you knew just what hubby needed. I can not believe how many things went wrong for the poor man. Scares the day light out of me since BIL has a catheter as well and I don't know as much as you do. Hope all stays well with you two.
Angie
by eggyannie
11 Oct 2013
if the "bag tube " starts to get cloudy after just a few days get medical help for a uterine infection and make sure he drinks a lot of water but up his salt intake as well as the water will reduce his mineral levels Hubby has a packet of crisps each day Potatoe chips to you
109762Wow this was quite an ordeal for the both of you! One that I think shouldn't have happened in the first place. I hope there is some accountability taken here on their part & as for you thank the good Lord that you are as knowledgeable as you are I shudder to think what would have happened had you not had this training! Good for you for PUTTING your foot down! I will keep you both in my prayers for continued recovery! Hugs Loralye
299557So glad to hear things were okay in the end. Good for you for standing up and doing something to be sure hubby is okay. So happy you have that training and knowledge. Best wishes to you both - and hoping the coming days are MUCH calmer.
11257Wow!!! That story was well worth reading and heeding. Thanks for sharing your nightmare that was real and no dream. Good luck and speedy recovery for both of you.
2093This is the second horror/torture story I have heard in as many weeks. Bless you for knowing and insisting! Your strength is a testament to the love you have with your dear husband. Your knowledge and ability to care for another is a talent only few really have. I do not, and wish I did have it! I do not know where you are, however you are so lucky to have caring professionals who may think they "know it all", however are willing to listen to you. You made it through the crisis, now you can get back to living. Best wishes. Christine. PS we will call you EDGEYannie - you've got the edge!
173580Oh my goodness...sooo sorry to hear about all of this...sounds a bit like some malpractice here...sounds like perhaps you should consult an attorney if for nothing more than making sure these types of incidents do not happen to someone else...someone needs to insure that some procedures are changed...hope he feels better soon!
314006When no one listens, someone has to stand up just as you did for hubby.
His trauma should have never happened. I do hope you wrote who, why, and where and submitted it to the original nurse supervisor.
I am happy that he is more comfortable now.
Way to go !!!!
Hugs, Bonnie
6803Honey, you rant and rant as much as you need too. I wish I could give you a real hug rather than a cyber hug. Thank goodness you know what your husband needs and you speak up when you need to. Kudos to you for being the best of the best caregivers for your hubby.
168905I am so glad that you kept at them about what you knew and finally made sure things were done right. God Bless you.
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57492Oh my- what a nightmare for you - pleased hubby is doing well now -
I think you deserve a BIG virtual Hug!!!
Hugs, Marie
9483My prayers are with you. Hope you can get a little rest.as well. Love & Hugs for you both. Shirley
52676Oh! my goodness Annie, I couldn't believe what I was reading. Thank God you knew what your husband needed. Miscommunication causes a lot of problems doesn't it? I'm sure those nurses thought they were doing the right thing, but sometimes they need to listen to us. I'm so glad that he is doing better and that you as his carer can tend to his needs. God bless you and I pray that you will soon be better too. Love Chris
234253oh dear what a scary situation. Good you were able to say and do what's best for him. My hugs for you and hope your HB will feel better and will have less pain. Keep good care of him. Hugs, Gerry
740280I'm so sorry you and your husband had to go through this. Maybe one day doctors and nurses will learn that sometimes wives and mothers know best and to listen to us. I'm sending lots of hugs and prayers your way, Dana
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