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My friend, you'll never know why she refused your gift. I don't even know HOW one refuses a gift, unless it's something like a bunch of flowers you're violently allergic to, or a kitten that will give you a fatal asthma attack. I myself had for some years (please, do sit down) a velvet painting of Elvis complete with tiny lights within the real sequins on his jacket. It was about 36 x 45 inches, with an elaborate gold plastic frame. It lived behind my couch, covered with a dust cover. But when the friend who gave it to us was coming over, it was taken out and displayed over the couch with all the twinkly lights plugged in. My "style"? hardly. But it lived behind my couch until our friend died, and then went to live with a relative who actually asked for it. I have no appreciation for that type of 'art' at all. But I cherished that garish object because it represented the friendship and love our friend had for us. My then husband had made the mistake of admiring the decor in our friend's new house, which was actually filled with about 12 of these 'artworks', when he said, "How do you like what we did with the house?" Politeness has its consequences, because he & his wife insisted we take Elvis home with us, so we too could share the joy and delight. Perhaps we were a bit too enthusiastic in our admiration of the decor. Point is, it was given with LOVE. I will never never not appreciate something done with love, no matter how 'not my style' it is.
I brought bevintex's answer up because of your comment: I don't want to get it dirty. My dear, USE it, or gift it to someone who will truly appreciate the work that went into this lovely project! Over the years, I gave my Mom many presents, spent thought over what she'd like, or could use, or wouldn't buy for herself. I gave them to her to enjoy, to feel special. And, typical of so many who were young in the Great Depression, she put most of these things away "for good". She used her ratty old hanky, when the new one was in the drawer, waiting for some wedding or special function. And possibly the saddest thing about her death was when I opened those drawers, and saw all the lovely things I had given her, being "saved for good", because at 66 she thought she had time, and she didn't. So now, almost 30 years later, those hankies are in MY drawer, and right now I'm bawling my eyes out because I still miss my Mom. My friend, share your work, and let that 20 years of resentment go. This beautiful, beautiful project into which you put so much love has become a shrine to your hurt feelings, and it doesn't deserve that; neither do you. Let the pillow go to someone who will love it, and let the love you made it with shine out for someone else. It's beautiful! I can't help thinking that our Loretta would have loved to have something like this. And please, let your resentment over this go,too, 20 years is long enough, that brooding and wondering why will only hurt you in the end. This is one I know by heart, honestly. There are days I can still re-fight battles with my abusive ex from 40 years ago, and still can't figure out what went wrong, what did I say,etc. It's OVER, past, done and gone. I won't let old bad memories steal what time I could be spending enjoying the garden or petting the cats. Please release the hurt and allow joy, for you own sake. Your silly SIL missed out on a good thing, that's her loss; don't let her or the memory steal your joy from you!! That's still a beautiful, beautiful piece of work!!
Big hugs, Marji
by crafter2243
04 Apr 2012
Wow Marji this was said beautifully and I agree with every word you said. You are so good with expressing yourself.
33451I know your feeling about gifts. I would take your beautiful work out and gift it to someone else who actually appreciates it, OR use it yourself. Be proud of what you created rather than letting it sit, hidden. You have talent, and you should take every opportunity to show it off; especially to those who can also appreciate your wonderful creativity!! Life is too short to allow others to bring us down. I hop you find a very special and prominent home for your work of art!!
16263It looks lovely to me. But even if she didn't like it, it's sad she did not recognize or feel the love you put in it.
740340Please use it. Let others see your talent and just ignore the mean people in our lives. I am now like a duck(just runs off)Time on earth is too short and I won't let anyone spoil my day.Hugs, Stella
15980I cannot believe that anybody could be so rude and thoughtless. I am speechless. Hugs Sarah.
by cfidl
02 Apr 2012
I was also! I mean we did pay for part of the wedding dress $1000! But this was the love part!
253107Oh wow, I think it is just gorgeous!!!!! Your SIL lost out by refusing your gift, what a silly, unfriendly thing to do!!!!! And you are a smart, kind lady who shouldnt be treated in that manner. Hope you have a splendid day. Hugs and ******
by cfidl
02 Apr 2012
Thank you Terri for you kind words. You are correct, it was her loss, at least you all got to see it!
16251How dare her refuse it. I think it is beautiful! It would look pretty on a chair, couch or bed, what's her problem. Hope you get along better after these 20 years!
Hugs, Debra
33579Too bad you can't finish it and put it out in a prominent place when your SIL comes to visit. Then when she says how beautiful that it is, you can either come back with a snide comment or just grin really big inside. She doesn't appreciate the good things in life.
by cfidl
01 Apr 2012
Well I got her good. Did not see her for over a year after Mom passed, and for Christmas I gave her the best gift. I didn't wrap it, just pulled it out of a bag and watched her face drop. Good enough for me!
by meganne
02 Apr 2012
Oh Christine I'm so disappointed you let her bring you down to her level.
I have a step-daughter, step-son and their respective spouses who treat me like ...., but all their kids love me. I never miss a birthday unless I'm in hospital.
The only Christmas gift my SD bought me was the cheapest, tackiest set of a silver plated and pink stone, garish, watch with matching bracelet, pendant & earrings. It was obvious it came from a $2 shop and was meant as an insult. I only wear real jewellery.
The following Christmas we gave her the most gorgeous, expensive, top quality Brand named, 100 piece, canteen of cutlery.
Ray made sure she knew I wanted her to have it and you should have seen the guilty look on her face when she opened it. Worth every penny!!!! LOL!!
Maybe I have too much pride but I will never let them bring me down to their level and they are the ones who are missing out on all the love I have to give by treating me so badly.
by meganne
02 Apr 2012
Christmas gift my SD bought me was the cheapest, tackiest set of a silver plated and pink stone, garish, watch with matching bracelet, pendant & earrings. It was obvious it came from a $2 shop and was meant as an insult. I only wear real jewellery.
The following Christmas we gave her the most gorgeous, expensive, top quality Brand named, 100 piece, canteen of cutlery.
Ray made sure she knew I wanted her to have it and you should have seen the guilty look on her face when she opened it. Worth every penny!!!! LOL!!
Maybe I have too much pride but I will never let them bring me down to their level and they are the ones who are missing out on all the love I have to give by treating me so badly.
by meganne
02 Apr 2012
following Christmas we gave her the most gorgeous, expensive, top quality Brand named, 100 piece, canteen of cutlery.
Ray made sure she knew I wanted her to have it and you should have seen the guilty look on her face when she opened it. Worth every penny!!!! LOL!!
Maybe I have too much pride but I will never let them bring me down to their level and they are the ones who are missing out on all the love I have to give by treating me so badly.
by meganne
02 Apr 2012
Worth every penny!!!! LOL!!
Maybe I have too much pride but I will never let them bring me down to their level and they are the ones who are missing out on all the love I have to give by treating me so badly.
by cfidl
02 Apr 2012
Love it! My cousin dating a millionaire gave me a silver pasta server for wedding gift, so when he married the not rich girl, I gave him a plastic one!
by cfidl
02 Apr 2012
Oh Meganne it was not down to her level, it was up, my level, it was like yours a very nice gift that she could not believe.
by pldc
02 Apr 2012
you know what I don't think this is fair: Just because her boyfriend has $$$$ doesn't mean she does now does it? If you give a gift out of LOVE & not out of duty or OBLIGATION it shows
by cfidl
02 Apr 2012
This gift like the best gifts are the thoughtful ones, this was not expensive but touching. I was like my grandma remembering little things I had for her. Just pulling them out from here and there.
13250Luckily, I have never made a gift that has been refused. However, I would gift it to someone who would like it or use it myself. I like to weave to but only have a single heddle. What do you have?
by cfidl
01 Apr 2012
1 string at a time. Yeap. It tool forever. I just wish it was velvet and not felt. It almost matches Vicki's The Rose, which I stitched today, for me!
37638It is very nice. You should finish it and give it to someone who will appreciate all your hard work (meaning yourself) You know how long it took and so you should treat yourself and use it. Hugs, Mary
by cfidl
01 Apr 2012
Thank you I like your sentiment, It needs a really special clean freak kinda of person. I'll pass, I have too much stitchin to do! I think it will end up with the right person.
33871Why don't you finish it and use it yourself. It is too nice to spend more years in the china cabinet. If it brings hard feelings gift it to someone else.
by cfidl
01 Apr 2012
I do not want it to get dirty. I live in the dustiest state in the union I think.
by marjialexa
04 Apr 2012
Please, don't "save things for good", use and enjoy! See my whole answer for the rest.
67271I think it's lovely! I can't imagine refusing this gift or any gift.You did a beautiful job on it.
Meri
15572I love what you did, I would loved to have had it. I see nothing wrong with it. Big hugs to you. DeVon
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