26714
Dear Mary, the year of "firsts" without your husband is the hardest thing ever! That anger is a stage of grief, as our Lilian has said, go ahead and express it. If screaming and crying helps, do it! Being with your family in Miami will help, so take that help and rejoice that you had such a loving husband, and a life with him that is worth missing. Enjoy the holidays with your family, with people that are still with you here on this earth, make NEW memories with them, have a celebration of life! My dear dear lady, your wonderful husband is spending his Christmas with Jesus himself this year, just imagine his joy! No pain or grief, no want, never being tired or afraid, no bills to pay, or pants that somehow 'shrank' in the wash because there was too much good food at the holiday feasts. I know sometimes I hurt so much that I was almost jealous of my husband, that he is having such a good time without me! Mary, it's hard, so very hard, but make good new memories even as you honor the old ones. The pain doesn't go away, ever. But it does get less, it does get bearable. And please, please notice something in your comment to Angie's answer: you said you're already "missing your HOME in the Dominican Republic." Not your house, your home! The house I live in is the one Bud and I built, it is HOME, and I treasure the memories we made in this place. I would not like to leave it, even though I have changed many things since he died, it is still our home, and a comfort to me. Remember this when people try to convince you to return to Miami. Drag some of them back to DR with you instead, if you need the company. May God give you the strength to feel your pain and walk through the valley of the shadow of death, and come out on the other side into His light and peace. With my love, Marji
by mary51
13 Oct 2011
THank you for your words, they have helped me a lot see you lost your DH too, how long did you need to feel somehow normal??? I did even noticed I said HOME not house, I used to say house not too long ago, What is happening??? I do not understand myself.
33451I can't imagine life without my hubby....may God see you through this time of sorrow and may He bring up the many joyful times you had with your husband....Gods blessings and peace
8647Mary, I'm so sorry you are going through such awful heartache. I pray you will lean on our Lord and go to Him every second of every day. I can't imagine how sad you are, but I do know when we reach out to God he will hold us tight. The joy in knowing He is there for us is more powerful than anything we can try to do ourselves. Stay strong in Him and we will all be praying for you and all the other people going through the same thing you are. Hugs, Jud *4U
10530So sorry to hear this. The other cuties have given you good advice. Just hang in there, thes best that you can. BIG Hugs ((()))
27028So sorry Mary praying for you for peace within that only God can give big fat huggers carolyn
360438One day at the time is all you can do. The first year and all the special events you have without him is the toughest. I am glad you will be with your family. It will get better believe me. When my husband passed away is was August and all the Holidays and his, his brothers and our twin daughters Birthdays were happening in the next 4 month. We had been married for 34 years. I wish I could make you feel better, because my heart aches for you, but like Lillian said there are stages of mourning this being one of them. I pray that God gives you the strength and peace to get throught the holidays. Hugs Angie
by mary51
12 Oct 2011
Thank you Angie I know you went throught this too, it is very hard to be without him, we were always together,now I feel I lost more than half of myself, I am confuse and do not know what to do, I just arrived yesterday night and I am already missing my home in DR, Am I getting crazy???? When I was in DR I wanted to be here, now I want to go back It is my personal opinion I feel closer to my DH in DR maybe is bacause of the memories but I have memories from here too,, I am sooooo confused. Thnak you I needed to vent.
109762I wished I could give you a real hug now. My prayers and thoughts for you.Please come to this Cute family when you feel the need, we love you .
740441Oh my heart goes out to you. I can't stop the hurting but sending you a big hug. Its good you are
going to see family-it will help a lot.
More hugs
Linda aka bumblebee
37638Dear Mary - I think of you very, very often. I do so wish I could help you.
I will be praying that you will be granted the strength to accept and understand how to cope on your new road.
Being with your family during the holiday period will be a great blessing to all of you.
Much love to you -
AlmaG.
17214You'll be surprised that being around family and helping with the holiday preparations that your spirits will be lifted. Maybe the family can help you celebrate life on your memorable days instead of keeping those days to yourself. Keep your mind open to a new and different holiday experience. You still have a lot to offer.
89895Mary - my heart goes out to you. I am so pleased that you will be with family for the holidays and that you will not be alone. My thoughts are with you. Hugs Sarah.
253107Mary, I am so sorry. Do you remember I told you there were 7 stages of grief? This is one of them, especially the anger. I've been there so I know what you are feeling. My thoughts and prayers are with you./ Lillian
145789Oh Mary, it's such a difficult time for you, and i feel your sadness and anger and frustration, but think of the good and happy times you both had, surround yourself with your family and talk about him with them.i'm sure they and your DH wouldnt want you to be so sad. Sending you a BIG Hug, and keep your chin up!!
Marie xx
9483I know how hard this will be for you. I am also hurting because I lost 3 loved ones in one month, a nephew, 2 weeks later my sister and 2 hours after I came home from my sisters I lost my father. I am giving it all to God to help me through this, and some days I don't know if I will make it and I just sit and pray and somehow I get through that day and you will also get through it. God bless you and keep strong in your faith.
11220Mary, I am know the pain you are now going thru. Years ago we lost our Mother and 12 year old sister in a car wreck on Nov. 11th. That was the worst year of holidays I ever went thru. I still think of them at holidays, however, the pain will get less as time goes by. You are very fortunate to have family to be with that will comfort you. Are you able to find another place to live...that will make your changes easier? H&*
16434Mary, I am so sorry to see you in such pain. It is ok to cry and scream but better to cling to God with every fiber of your being and repeat His promises over and over. I remember you were going to try to volunteer. Were you able to do that? Can you get busy and make small Christmas ornaments to give to everyone you know? Being busy helps the lonliness. Keep talking to us. We are here
168966Sweetheart, your pain is so great there is only one way to deal with it! ONE DAY AT A TIME! Don't think about all the firsts without your DH now, wake up every morning, gird your loins and only deal with today!! God will grant you strength to deal with each day. Lots of love, stay strong
16251Marcie, times like these - are difficult - trust in the Lord - He didn't bring you this far - for no reason - He has something for you to do - you will get through these tough days. I see by the end of your posting - you had turned it around to thinking of another - in spirte of all your pain. That is encouraging.
211078Dear Mary, I too am sorry you are experiencing all these "first" anniversaries without your husband. I will be thinking of you as you face these hurdles. Time will heal your heart and don't forget you have your memories to keep you smiling. Don't cry, go and do something to bring a smile to your face. Life is just too damn precious not to enjoy every minute of it. Thinking of you in your time of despair, love and blessings Chris
234256Sending you a (((HUG))). You will get through it one day at a time, you have no choice, it was made for you and you will find you have more strength than you ever thought. Hang in there and cuties are always here to give encouragement.
by mary51
09 Oct 2011
Thank you, here I am thinking of my problems and you have one too, hope the procedure goes all right, God be with you all the time.
33579Mary just to say I am thinking about you. Your life has changed and not by your choice. I am sorry you are finding life so tough at the moment. This is a time it would be great to meet and talk but I am the other side of the world :( There are many here who will understand what you are going through. Take care and keep in touch
114506
