My neighbour who I am not particularly friendly with has asked me to embroider her daughters name 'with that little machine you have' The daughter is about to start school (and the little machine I have is a PR650). I embroidered the sons name on a similar bag about 6 months ago and had forgotten I still had another bag to embroider :(

Since you are getting these late request calls...you are the one that needs to put your foot down...tell her that is not acceptable!! I would do most anything for a child if I was at all able to do it. However,,,I would NEVER put their name on anything that could be seen in public. I used to have people coming to me wanting me to mend...mostly stuff that should have been discarded to start with...I informed them that I HATE mending...do not even mend my own cloths I just put them in the garbage!! That ended that. H&*

What goes around, comes around.
I'd sew the name on the bag for the little.At school and years from now that little girl will talk about that nice lady who made her bag special :)
Hugs Lee

I'd do it, but make it clear that the machine might mess up. It does happen. And you are not responsible if it does. You will not replace anything.

Well, so many answers, I could not read them all. BUT this is what I think.... I would say "well yes of course I will do that, but... after that I will be charging $15 per name for embroidery, I have just become so busy with paying customers that I can't possibly fit in frebies" or some such thing. This advise from the owner of 2 of those "little machines" I have a pr620 and a pr1000 and if they are so little I would love to see your neighbour pick it up and put it in the car, and what is further more I would like to see her purchase one from her little small change purse. Yes I know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but I think all the cuties are accustom to my mood swings by now and some things just get me a bit mad.
But you paid a lot of money for that machine, you spent a lot of time learning how to use it, you fork out for thread, stabilizer fabric and software, embroidery designs and or software to create them with, Good grief, What you know what you do and the equipment you have is worth money, if people think that it is just fun let them go and buy all that stuff, learn all that stuff and do it themselves.
Sorry for the soap box stuff, but we gals have to recognise we have skills and equipment that is marketable and worth money.

Boy, this is really a hard situation, isn't it. I haven't figured out what to do about charging for anything sewing and embroidering yet. I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I am afraid if I charge for something it would have to be perfect, and then that would make me so nervous that I couldn't make it perfect, I wouldn't even want to start. I bought my machine, used, as a hobby, so I have told people I never want to sew for money, just for friends for free, so they know they are special. It has worked out okay so far, and no one has abused my time so far. (One friend is a little close though, she has her own machine that doesn't work very well - but still I like helping her out.) I did 20 t-shirts for another friend who has an ice cream and snack shop, and I told her not to pay me, (she bought the shirts). But we have had all the free home-made black raspberry cheesecake ice cream and cheeseburgers and deep fried-zuchinni sticks we could eat this summer. She lets Ben, our son who has disabilities, work for her. It's a kind of Pay it Forward thing. I just don't have any idea what to charge and I don't know how to ask to be paid. So many people do so many nice things for us, I just love surprising people by giving them something with a meaningful design. I enjoy that as much as the sewing. But yet, it is a really expensive hobby that I really can't afford........ stabilizer, thread, and I do buy some designs....... I'm a wimp! So, I'm no good at giving you an answer - sorry! I'd probably focus on how the little girl will love seeing her name on the bag, and make her name really cute, like one of those stacked names with daisies or something. And I'd be growling under my breath about her mom!

2 comments

by asterixsew 21 Aug 2011

Thanks for this lovely reply. Yes I am yet again 'growling' about mum. My sewing is like yours. I cannot just go for it on the design as it has to cover other wording up so I need to make a patch first...

by hightechgrammy 21 Aug 2011

Do you mean she didn't give you a "clean slate" bag to start with? How tacky is that?!

hi there
If I had the bag for the amount of time you mentioned I would embroider the name for free as I would believe this is my error.. any items that I produce for friends and family I charge them a discounted price but are produced in my own time, if they need anything urgently then they pay full price and I do state this as my terms with them before accepting any orders.
I have done alot of free work in the past and still do because I believe in speculate to accumulate,
But mostly alot of my customers come to me on recomendation due to my honest service that I offer
and this you cannot put a price on :-)

Good luck + Big hugs from London
Maria xx

1 comment

by debleerl 20 Aug 2011

I like your advice here especially for friends and family. My DIL is always giving me projects and says she will pay me but never does. Fortunately she does buy most of the materials.

As one who often forgets to do things I always ask people to REMIND ME. If they don't remind me I don't feel guilty if I forget because I am always doing something for someone and I don't keep notes (though I know I should) Does this make sense?

I would follow Helen's (moyed) advice, it sounds pretty good to me, besides, you do have to live next door to her so it would probably pay to act like a dizzy lizzy and apologise for forgetting.

Do I owe anyone any digitising????
Hugs n roses, Dizzy Meg

1 comment

by debleerl 20 Aug 2011

I agree, and you sound like me.

I would invite her in offer her a coffee and let her watch you stitchout the design. That way you are being kind and she will see how much effort goes into stitching out her design. She could become a nicer neighbour, maybe she is not that confident in herself and so comes off appearing to be a little unfriendly..:))

Caroline you have received good suggestions. I would also apologise(everybody can forget and she could have reminded you) and then tell her your price. If she doesnt want to contribute, just give the bag back. You can use "your little machine" for something else. Have a great weekend and dont feel upset. Life is too short

Since it is for the young daughter I would do it, but when I gave it back to the mom I would let her know that this was the last of the freebies. Most people have no idea the time and money involved in embroidery, I don't think they are trying to take advantage of us it's just a case of ignorance on their part.

If it were me, I would do the name simply because it is for a child and not for the neighbor. Put a business card in the bag so the child knows who did the embroidery. Whether or not you are friends with the parents is inconsequential. The children will be delighted and you will be held to a higher level. That can very well pay off later on in life when the kids grow older and decide whether your house is a potential target for their angst. It is the little things. I know what it feels like to be out of favor with the neighbors. STRESS!! I hope this goes well for you, and the kids appreciate what you have done for them. But after that, no more freebies. Call it a life lesson.

I think I would go ahead and embroider the name on it, Then tell her if she would like anything else embroidered you will have to charge her for your time and materials. Then stick to it,if she brings you an item let her know no more freebies.
Bev

Rise above the mom's shortcomings and do it for the little girl. Bottom line, it's for the child, and she'll probably get great pleasure from your work. I've been there also, having done things for friends and not charged, then gotten cornered by their friends who expected me to do the same for them, no charge. My response was simple: That was a gift, because they are dear friends. I'd be happy to do "whatever" for you, but understand my time is valuable, and there will be a fee.
As for the neighbor, make up a price list for your services, hand it to her, and tell her that you'd appreciate any referrals she can send your way. And leave it at that.

I can only say that I have had items far too long, because of other demands on my time, that I had almost forgotten that I had not embroidered them. Because of the delay I created in not complying with a request quickly, I chose to not charge for the item, and simply stated, I normally get $$ for this, but I will not charge you this time due to my delay. Most asking for embroidered items have NO clue as to the time involved, and they gasp at the charge. I calmly tell them to check out prices at the local monogramming shops. Then, they love my prices! People that gripe or complain, yet continue to ask me to embroider for them, I find many excuses to avoid doing items for them. Never underprice your work, then you get many orders with not enough compensation for your time!
Angel

My 2 cents is 'don't do it'. Give the bag back to her and suggest an embroidery shop where she might get it done. You are starting a very dangerous precedent there. I know someone that didn't say no to all the requests and now it is a disaster. People she doesn't even know stop her in restaurants asking for free embroidery work.

It is too hard to stop if you do embroidery for one person then other people expect it too. Best thing is just not to start it.

Just the way she asked you this time is enough to send her away to a place she has to pay for the service.

She needs to just get a machine of her own and do her own embroidering. The majority of people have no clue what is involved in embroidery and for that reason don't appreciate all of your work involved.

For my two cents..since you've had the bag for six months, it's kind of hard not to comply...but, if you want to tell a "story" tell her you would like to, but your machine is on the fritz...if she'd like to help cover the cost to fix it you could do the bag this time...okay, maybe a little white lie isn't the way to go...but makes you think, what if your machine breaks down doing that little favor of a bag for her?

When I worked for an Embroidery Company it was Minimum $9.99...no matter how small we made the name. After 5" wide it went up in $$ by $2.00. It was also an internet ordering company and the price was the same (even if you brought in your own item).

I know the feeling and have had it happen to me, usually by a 'friend' who is only there when they need something, never when I need anything. Give her back the bag unsewn, tell her you are to busy, so sorry and at the asme time tell her it's $5 per 1000 stitches or $5 alone is a fair price, she'll either pay you or you won't have to be bothered with her agan.

I think on this one you're just going to have to bite the bullet and do it. Then, when you give it to her make it clear that this is not going to become a habbit. You'll know how to say it. Hugs..Carol

1 comment

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Thanks Caroldann

I really understand what you're saying! I have a BMP8 (BabyLock version of your 650), and I often get these sorts of requests.

If it's someone other than family or my closest friends (who have never asked!), I smile and say "Sure, I'd love to. My rate of $1 per 1000 stitches, with an $8 minimum. Let's look at some designs together, so you can pick out the one you like best and see how many stitches are in it to determine the cost."

Of course, that being said, since you already did one for her brother, I suspect the little girl would be very hurt if she doesn't have 1 too. So I would probably do it for her and tell her Mom, "You should know this is a special favor that I really can't do for free again. Since I made one for (brother) I'll do it this once. If you'd like more done in the future, my rate is $1 per 1000 st. with an $8 minimum."

Hee-hee! Although I do LOVE jussyc's response better! :) :) :)

Hugs
Marion in KY

1 comment

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Both bags were handed over at the same time and as it took her 2 weeks to say thanks for the first and i was busy the second was forgotten until she phoned up and said she needed it very soon:( I doubt if the 3 year old is aware of the bag it is just that I am cross that I have been asked for something again from her

Most people are very ignorant when it comes to embroidering. I have to admit, before I got my machine, I had no clue as to how much time and money it took. I guess I would show her your machine and let her know just what it entails, then maybe she might apologize for the remark!

I don't want to be an alarmist but I never put a childs name on anything that they will be carrying out in public. I tell the parents this but I will let the children to pick a favorite design that will be only theirs and they can identify thier backpack or whatevcer by this design-- ie. unicorn, soccar ball, funny frog,etc. often they want to see how the machine works and I feel like this is just creating an interest for future sewer/embrioderers so am happy to do it.

3 comments

by starlizard 19 Aug 2011

Yes... it is recommended that a child's name not be put on anything that's going out into public.

by sewmom 19 Aug 2011

You're right. Often a first initial and last name are on a backpack. But sometimes it's just a picture of something cute to make it easy to spot that it belongs to that child.

I think the point of the question though was to embroider anything or not.

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

The bag is for use inside school only, it is to zip her coat in while she is in school

I think that since you did one for her son 6 months ago, the little girl is the one you are going to dissappoint as her mother has probably already told her she'd get you to do it.
But, I would tell her I'd do it for the little girl as I'd done for her son, but usually when I do embroidery for someone other than family, there is a fee.
That way you are keeping friendly with a neighbor, but also informing her in a nice way that in future is she wants something done it will cost her.

2 comments

by blueeyedblonde 19 Aug 2011

You could also tell her that
"that little machine" I have is called an embroidery machine (she's either being catty - or could be jealousy - or doesn't know what to call the "little machine" you have, knowing it
s not a sewing machine).

by starlizard 19 Aug 2011

Educate and put her in her place all at the same time... I love it!

I would do the bag for her and when I presented it to her, I would ask if she wouldnt mind washing my windows or clear the front yard! Im sure this will get the point across. You could always laugh it off if her face hits the floor LOL :) teehee

4 comments

by bowlds 19 Aug 2011

Now you're talking!!

by designcrazy 19 Aug 2011

That is so funny jussyc!!!!! I never thought about saying something like that! but I bet it would make her think twice before asking her to do something on the "little machine" again!!!!

by julia47 19 Aug 2011

I have an automatic NO button. Unless its someone like family or someone that don't look upon me as a convience I don't do for. So doing such t hings on my little machine would cost such a person like your neighbor. I use to be kind hearted till I got used just one to many times.

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

jussyc I like your reply. And Julia47 I have improved over the years at saying no but somehow not with this one as the wording is such no is vvv difficult

You people are certainly nicer than I am!!
Did you already have a bag she gave you for the daughter's or is this a new request? Did you expect to get paid last time and didn't? If you did not expect to get paid for the son's (and didn't) I would do the little girl's and not do anything more for her in the future unless there is money involved. She obviously does not value what you are doing or she wouldn't have called it "that little machine of yours".

1 comment

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Yes I have the bag and have had for 6 months. When I did the last I would have liked to be thanked faster than 2 weeks later

If you feel obligated to do just one more name, I would attach a card with your fees and see what happens. It would be interesting to see if she offers to reimburse you for your time. If she does not pay you at least you may have got the not free thing across and she may not ask again. Good Luck with this sticky situation.

1 comment

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Capoodle thanks for your nice words. Sewing is a hobby so I dont have a charge list but maybe I need to work on one

I'd do it, this time, and when I gave it back I'd nicely inform her I would no longer have the time to do things for free in the future. If asked again I would remind her of this statement and refuse.

1 comment

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Thanks

I empathize with your dilemma... being asked in a condescending manner is never a 'feel good' situation. Its easy to tell you to just smile and do the bag for the girl and then say "No" the next time your neighbor asks for something else; BUT, you have to follow your heart on this one. Good will is one thing, but your time, resources, and efforts shouldn't be a 'welcome' mat either.

3 comments

by starlizard 19 Aug 2011

Here's a crazy thought... ask the woman if she'd like to watch you do the bag. Then she'd have a good idea of what your 'little machine' really is... not to mention what all goes into doing designs. {I have to admit it, I had to do a search for the PR650 just to see what you've got there. Yep, I had to wipe drool off my desk. LOL!}

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Thanks Starlizard, maybe I might try this one. I remember she asked me to embroider all over the youngests clothes once and I did refuse. Its the tone I am sked in. Glad you like my machine I was very lucky and got a demonstration model at a reduced price. Sadly I dont have much time to sew therefore its not used as much as I would like

by starlizard 21 Aug 2011

Its been interesting to read all the responses you've gotten to your question. Obviously, there is a good many of us that can relate to the situation. I often do things just because I want to show someone how special they are to me. Case in point, I've been working on creating the designs to make an embroidered rag quilt for my son's best friend. I started out with designs that I'd bought or were freebies, but somewhere along the way, decided that I was going to use designs that I had created myself. Besides my time, I've spent money on this quilt that I have yet to cut the first piece of fabric for. So, now you know what sort of lunatic you're dealing with here... LOL! This is a very special young man that I'm making this effort for... and when I get the quilt made, I'm going to be happy that I could show him how much his friendship is appreciated. I stand by my statement that you should follow your heart. Whatever you finally decide on doing, it will be the right thing for you.

Yes I guess you need to be careful, first reaction is to tell you to smile and do it purely because you are a good person although you are hesitant but then in the end you may end up doing this type of favor forever. So sorry I always hate myself because I can not say no and I hate myself for it and therefor my advise would not be good.

2 comments

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Babie I just wonder what your advice would have been. I do like what you have said at the end

by babie 21 Aug 2011

Knowing myself I would have done to the best I could and probably wrapped it chocolate included and delivered it with a smile. My family would however have known that I was not really keen to do it in the beginning. As a matter of interest my husband asked me the other day why I do it and it actually even cost me in the end - one reason being that somebody else have a part of me in their home then.

I'd love to, but that would be $5. it is going to cost you your time, stabilizer, bag and thread. Not to count the time on your machine and your electric bill.

I do it all the time for the neighbors I'm friendly with. They offer to pay but I never accept. But one you're not friendly with that has kids that will need names embroidered for many years to come...I think I would ask for a fee. Maybe $5. Check the local embroidery stores to see how much they charge.

1 comment

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Thanks sewmom, sadly there is no local store to check with or I would

WELL I WOULD SAY SURE I'D BE HAPPY TO:):) I LIVE BY DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO TO YOU :):)CAROLYN

4 comments

by bevintex 19 Aug 2011

Good for you, I like your answer.
Bev

by asterixsew 19 Aug 2011

Please can I have your phone no Carolyn so next time there is a phone call at 10pm for a egg or a onion or a moan I can pass it on to her and you can chat instead of me

by designgirl 20 Aug 2011

I agree with you Carolyn. Just because the Mother is rude, you shouldn't punish the little girl who is starting school.

by lenamae 21 Aug 2011

Carolyn I am the same way I tell some just pay me a little for thread
lenamae