.. 15th to get her home ready, I kept the children until wednesday as school finished on Tuesday for term holidays. The DCP (child welfare) returned her youngest child to her on Wednesday also. Thursday morning the ex broke into the house & killed her. The welfare have now taken all the children into care but not to me. I feel as though I should have kept her longer but he would have done it later. my home was too hard to get to as he didn't have a car & nobody would take him, 80 kl was too far to walk.

this is a very tragic story and I will pray for all of you to give you strength.. Wendi

This is shocking news. My heart is hurting for all concerned in the whole situation. I can see that you could be blaming yourself, but as you said it would have happened later. I hope you can work through it all. Such a terrible thing, I am so shocked and when I read the life story, I could just see you both running into each others arms. You will be in my prayers and hope you can cope in the future. Sandra H. Australia

I would like to thank everyone for their kind thoughts & wishers. Thankyou

What heart breaking news....I will be praying for the kids and for you....may God bless you for your caring heart.

So tragic and dis-hearting. It is so difficult to understand why things like this happen. May your heart be opened to answers you receive. You are a good person who has brought more joy into lives than you will ever be able to comprehend. God bless you.

My heart cries for you all, I only can imagine how this will affect the children, and pray for them.
Love and hugs,Yoriko

Domestic violence is such a terrible part of our society, no matter what country that you live in. Take care.

I am sooo sorry for everybody. Don't feel you are to blame. You did the best by giving her a home to be save in when she needed it most. I feel so bad for the children and will be praying for them. Prayer for you too.

Deeply sorry to hear about this tragic death. Prayers and Blessings.

What a tragedy for everyone involved. You can't blame yourself.You couldn't have kept her if she didn't want to stay. Now the focus is the children. I pray that they are well cared for and can have some sort of a normal life. Bless you for doing what you could.

It must indeed be a sad time for you and I send you my best wishes!

My heart hurts for you and for the children.
Foster parents walk a sad, sad road many times but you have given times of safety and love to this poor young mother and you did all you could when she needed you. I hope the children find comfort wherever they are right now.
AlmaG.

So sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you and the children! The wheels of welfare do not seem to work they way they should to protect these people all to often. The sad thing is he should have been incarcerated before this could happen, but it takes a tragedy such as this to put him in jail, and now these poor children have lost both their parents. I am a survivor myself. Once I got the strength to walk away I never went back. I was also fortunate enough to see that going back to him or my old home was not a good idea. My prayers go out to her family and you at this difficult time.

This is such sad news! You are all in are in my thoughts!

I'm so sorry for you and all victims: The Lady who is died and her children.
I wil pray for you. Take care of you.
Céline

I am so very sorry for this and for you to have to go through this horrible evil. I will pray for you and the children.

How very sad for all of you. At this time the children need to be with someone they know and trust it seems tragic that they have been placed elsewhere. Thinking about you and the children too

I am so sorry. Praying for you during this difficult time.

I am very sorry to hear this...May the children find the love and peace they can....BUT please pray for the ex also..May he find peace with his soul and may forgivness be given and he turn his life around...

Sitting here really shocked about this tragic story. Hope the kids could return to you and find some peace. May he get what he earned for all his doing...
My thoughts are with you and the children
Greetings, Bettina

Some very sad things happen in the cas i worked there for 15 years looking after kids that were between me and jail ,the stress was very high but i loved it .cong, to you for all you do for them !!carolyn

So sorry for you - love and prayers are with you - thank you for all that you do :)

I want to thank you for all you do to help such people that are in need. When working in the area of foster care/domestic violence/child welfare there are so many barriers to getting to a happy ending and unfortunately the system itself ends up being the biggest barrier. Victims rights always seem to take a back seat to offenders rights- But in the short time that they were with you- they felt safe. You gave them a home with love and peace. That was a true gift. And I thank you for that.

2 comments

by sewfrenzie 23 Apr 2011

I agree! without these caring people I would not be where I am today. My life has changed so much and its all becasue of caring people like you Wendy! I too say thank you with all my heart!!

by wendymay60 23 Apr 2011

I fostered Tammy from the age of 18months till she was 6.5 years then she was taken & adopted out then when she was 13 the adopted mother packed her bag & told her to leave, 3 days later Tammy went back to the house to find it empty so she lived on the streets & shorttime stay places. When she was 20 she made friends with a nice chap & he took her to meet his good mats. When she was looking through the wedding photoes she saw a photo of me & DH she asked why they had a photo of her mum & dad, the outcome was I was phoned & Tammy was put on the train to the city & at the station she flew into my arms, with no hesation, I knew her also even though she had changed her hair colour. that was 9 years ago. She was with the partner for 3.5 years. she left after the 3rd hiding. Tammy could tell me a lot about when she lived with me & also when she lived with other people. the good things came out first the the horrible & crule last. I was glad she had good memories.

Oh this is so sad!
This must be terribly hard for you too, my heart goes out to all.
I can't bear it myself and I only read your story.
So very sorry!
Love and Prayers
From Bev

How very sad to read this. I just hope that her children (who were obviously there) are not scarred for life from what they may have witnessed. How cruel and evil some people are !

Sorry to hear this, but you did all you could and you helped her in her last days. Be thankful that he did not also take the children's lives. One day at a time.

What a sad story, I am so sorry, I understand how you must feel, but there was nothing you could do about it. We need to pray for those children lost their mother in the hands of their father, when all these domestic violence is going to stop?

My thoughts are with the children and with your yourself.
Big hugs from London
Maria xx

I am glad you understand that there was nothing more you could have done... "kept them longer and he would have done it later". That does not lessen your grief from the tragedy but it is a healthy mindset that will assist you in times to come.

Plus, aren't you still recovering from hip replacement? Your plate is very full.

Good wishes on your multiple recoveries.
Take care of yourself.

1 comment

by wendymay60 23 Apr 2011

Yes. Tammy & the children came to me 1 week after I left the hospital. She was a help to me & the children kept my mind away from my hip except when I was walking. & her daughter who had a major hip rebuild last year did her hip exercise when I did mine. it was hard putting 2 walking frames into the car, she used to say that she could stand between me & my frame so we only needed to take mine.

Wendy, I am so very sorry. I hope that the children are receiving grief counciling. Might not hurt you to seek out some help, perhaps from your pastor? I pray for you and the children for acceptance and healing. I'll bet their caseworker would talk to you if you called to check on them. Might make you feel better and also would let her/him know that you are genuinely interested in their welfare.
hugs. Jerrilyn

How utterly tragic. We will never know what drives people to do such terrible things. We pray for comfort for you and the children. Hope in time to come the children will find their way back to you - to where they were safe & happy\.
God Blees
Hugs Elizabeth

1 comment

by wendymay60 23 Apr 2011

Yes. Tammy found me again after 14 years & so have other foster children who are now adults. Since this happened I have had one call from an ex foster girl who now has her own teenage family. she saw me on tv. I received a call asking if I wanted her to have my number so she could talk to me. Yes good can come out of bad

I am so sorry about this you and her kids will be my prayers.

my prayers for the children & your family. thank you for being a foster care person, you are very special.

Wendy May, we never know why something like this happens - but she is with the Lord now. I will pray for the children and for you to accept God's will in this whole thing.

My prayers and love are with you and the children; I'm so sorry to read this. I pray that your faith and prayer will help you through this difficult time. Perhaps some time away from her children will help them and help you to deal with your grief.
Wish I was there to hug you.
Love,
Jacqueline

I hope he gets what is coming to him. We don't need this type of person on the streets. I am thinking of you and Hope the children are coping. Love and best Wishes to you and the children. Lyn

2 comments

by wendymay60 23 Apr 2011

he has been charged with murder. I'm hoping he doesn't plead insaine as it was calulated

by sewfrenzie 23 Apr 2011

I pray that if he does plea insanity, the judge refuses his plea! And the tests prove he is sane enough to stand trial for his actions!

So sorry to read this! Many warm thoughts from Denmark.