by annatjievdw 03 Aug 2010

My husband was an Alzheimer dimentia sufferer and since 2000 I was looking after him. He also had only 25% of the use of his heart. Dec 2007 I had to put him in a frailcare centre cause he got very violent. In March this year he was very sick and I looked after him for 6 weeks in my own house. I landed in hospital with pneumonia in May and it took me nearly 2 months to recover. Then I was offered a house in a retirement village after years of searching. He landed in hospital beginning of June with a few strokes, heart failure, kidney failure and lots of other things going wrong. After he got out of hospital I moved in the new house on the 24th of July and on the 28th of July he passed away after a lot of suffering. The funeral was today and I can only thank God that his suffering is now at an end. The last 10 years of my life was filled with a lot of stress and the constant going to check that everything was ok with him. And now tonight this house feel so lonely and empty although he never lived here. Only the thought that I am now really alone without him to look after I feel so completely drained and the 4 walls seems to drown me. So I just want to tell Shirlene and lots of you in much the same situation to never feel alone. Know that there are lots of other people going through the same and if they can keep on going with the help of God, you can also do it. Sometimes everything felt to suffocate me but then I got the strength to go on again. And that was only the thought that God was with me and would help me to survive and cope with my situation, that kept me going all these years.

So everybody out there feeling engulfed, please know that I am thinking and praying for you. Lots of love and strength to each and every Cutie throughout the world. All my love, Annatjie

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by noah 02 Sep 2010

Sorry for your loss but rest now knowing he is in gods hands feeling great again Now it is self time soooooooooooopick yourself up & get on with your life.With God all things are possible he has YOU in the palm of his hand,God bless you dear one!!Carolyn(from northern ontario)

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Carolyn, thanks a lot.

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by jrob Moderator 26 Aug 2010

Annatjie, I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us and for your testimony. God adores you! ;)

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot dear.

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by jayce 25 Aug 2010

Anna, I am sorry for your loss, it is not easy living with dementia and watching a loved one suffer.

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot.

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by judybell 25 Aug 2010

Anna, thank you for sharing with us. We just don't realize how blessed we are to have our health. I'm sorry for your loss, but so thankful your husband is no longer suffering and is now with the Lord. I will pray that you will continue to feel Gods presence around you and your heart will soon feel a happiness in it as you live out the rest of your life. I can only imagine how it feels to loose your husband, and it makes me cherish having my DH even more. God bless and hugs, Judy

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Judy, all you Cuties were just wonderful. Thanks for being there for me.

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by anangel 25 Aug 2010

Anna,
Anna, it's time for YOU, now! Smile each day knowing your husband is looking down saying, "Thank you, my dear lady!" He would want you to take care of yourself, regain your strength from all you have gone through, and enjoy so many things you did not have time for in those years of caretaking! May God give you more of that special strength He has given you so long to regain your health and happiness. You have my prayers and
best wishes for a renewed spirit and zest for life!
Angel

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Angel you are a wonderful friend. Thanks a lot.

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by dlonnahawkins 24 Aug 2010

I am sorry for your loss, and having just read this, I hope that it is getting just a little better for you. Many of us have had loved ones go through the Alzheimer's phases, and it so hard on the family. No matter, you have a place here that can give you just a little uplift you need from time to time. May God bless you, and keep you in his living hands.

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot. It seems to me that you have firsthand knowledge of an Alzheimers patient. All the best to you.

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by barbara68 24 Aug 2010

I feel for you! My feeling.

2 comments
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot Barbara

annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot.

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by stitchinkate 24 Aug 2010

So sorry for your loss. Stress can be overwhelming sometimes. I hope you come to enjoy your new home and have friends close at hand you can turn to. Prayers are with you.

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot. Yes luckily I have good friends living near me.

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by dilceia 23 Aug 2010

Anna, I i'm sorry... I know the how much is difficult to lose a dear entity!
But, mind you: " Nobody dies, while it remains live in the heart..."
Come to perform your time here with us.
A hug

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thank you so much.

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by crafter2243 Moderator 14 Aug 2010

God saw your husband weak and sick. He reached out his hand and said "COME".
I cannot imagine what it must have been like for the last 10 years but I do understand the strength you received. I pray that you will continue feeling Gods presence to help you through the mourning.

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot for you kind words.

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by auntbaba 13 Aug 2010

Dear Annatjie,
I'm sorry that your husband has passed away, but you are wise to find comfort in the knowledge that his suffering is over and that he is with God. The Lord will comfort you, and soon you will be able to find peace and happiness in your new home. We're always here for love and support, so come visit Cute often. My prayers are with you.
Barb

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Barb thanks a lot for being such a good friend to me.

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by beatie58 12 Aug 2010

Sorry for your loss I have no words apart from understanding, my condolences to you. Remember all the good times and memories then each day will be a little brighter. Hugs Sally

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Sally thanks a lot.

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by gerryvb 11 Aug 2010

Annatjie, my condolances and sympathy.I'm sorry for your loss,but I feel touched you wanted to share this with us. God bless you and lots of strength for you. just know we will try to be the family for you.and support you with hugs, love and prayers.

"The angels are always near to those who are grieving, to whisper to them that their loved ones are safe in the hand of God."

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Gerry thanks a lot for being such a good friend.

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by katydid 11 Aug 2010

What a lovely poem from dianned. I think she said it for all of us. I totally have no words that could express ones self better. Kay

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

All of you on Cute are wonderful Kay. Thanks a lot.

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by starlet2653 11 Aug 2010

Dear Anna,

My condolences on yr husbands passing. He's now at peace in heaven. May God grant you the strength and support to continue your life journey. This 'Cutie' family is amazing and I'm sure your sewing gives u some relaxing and rewarding moments.

Take care and God bless.

Starlet

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Starlet, thanks a lot for being such a star.

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by mops Moderator 09 Aug 2010

I am very sorry for your loss, Annatjie, and still you are thinking of and praying for others. I can fully understand there's a huge emptiness where there used to be care and love, and sorrow when seeing the deteriation, metally and physically. May the Lord remain your strength in days to come.

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot for your kind words.

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by camylow 09 Aug 2010

I am sorry for your loss...I am glad you are here with us to share your needs, hopes and just truly know we are here for each other....Please just start typing when you feel the need for someone and someone will always be here for you...LOTS OF LOVE flowing towards you...Big hugs to wrap around you...GOD is truly within this site for he gathers us close and sends someone when we need it....The loss of someone we love is hard, but it is easier when we know the LORD....Blessings to you Annatjie.....deanna

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Deanna thanks for all your love and hugs.

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by cherylgauteng 09 Aug 2010

They tell me that you are never given more than you can bear - you must be so strong and brave. My best wishes to you and a lot of sympathy. He is, at least, not suffering anymore and with that also comes peace to you at last. My thoughts are with you.

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot for your kind words.

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by nanniesara 07 Aug 2010

I am so sorry for your loss, I know with the loss of a loved one how hard it can be. But God will never leave you, he will get you through. You have to remember that now you have your own Guardian Angel watching over you. God bless you and keep you through this very hard time. Sara

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Oh Sara all of you are so kind and thoughtful. Thanks a lot for being there for me.

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by leenova54 06 Aug 2010

Bless your heart that you are such a strong woman to have handled all this for 10 years without the kind words from cuties that you will now find here. I am so sorry for your loss, not just on this day but all the past years. I only discovered today what the personal tag on this site was for. Take care and know that you have many cuties sending you a really tight hug!
Debra

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Debra thanks for being such a good friend.

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by anne55 06 Aug 2010

God bless you. You've been through so much and here you are encouraging others! Thank you.

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annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Anne thanks a lot.

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by kalinelson 06 Aug 2010

My heart goes out to you....I know only God can bring you through your sorrow, may He use many people to lift you up.....you will be in my prayers....I know your husband is in your future as you will see him again one day.....May God Almighty wrap His arms around you with love, mercy and grace.........Janet

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

I thank you for your kind words Janet.

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by jacquipaul 06 Aug 2010

My love and prayers are with you in this time of loss, Annatjie. You said that your husband is no longer suffering, and I believe that also. God can care for you, also, by giving you things to do and people to help, with your talents. If you are able, I'm sure that you can find someone to reach out to, and help someone, even if it is just to write a little note to cheer someone up.
I will pray for you and God will hear your prayers too.
Love and hugs.
Jacqueline

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Jacqueline, thanks for your prayers and for being such a good friend.

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by rmj8939 06 Aug 2010

What can anyone say at a time like this but that we are so sorry for your loss and hope that with God's love you will heal soon and be able to go on.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot.

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by tanuja 06 Aug 2010

I am so sorry for your loss, thanks for sharing this.love tanuja

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Tanuja, thanks for being a friend.

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by dianned 06 Aug 2010

I am so very sorry for your loss. I don't have words enough to say what I feel for you, so I thought I'd share this poem I found and sent to her friend who lost her husband recently under very similar circumstances :

"When I come to the end of the road and the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room - why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little - but not too long, and not with your head held low;
Remember the love that once was shared - miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take, and each must go alone;
It's all a part of the Master's plan, a step on the road to Home.
When you are lonely and sick of heart go to the friends we know,
Bury your sorrow in good deeds - miss me, but let me go."


With much love and sympathy from Dianne x x x

7 comments
kalinelson by kalinelson 06 Aug 2010

Beautiful and meaningful poem....thank you for sharing this.

cherylgauteng by cherylgauteng 09 Aug 2010

This is so poignant and yet so true. Thanks for sharing this with me. I have copied and pasted it as I have seldom read anything this touching.

starlet2653 by starlet2653 11 Aug 2010

Very profoud and touching poem . Thanks for sharing, Dianne.

May we only hear good news,
Starlet

beatie58 by beatie58 12 Aug 2010

beautiful poem, thank you for sharing

claudenicolas by claudenicolas 14 Aug 2010

Dianned this poem is beautiful

annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Dianne this is the most beautuful poem I have read in a long time. Thanks a lot for sending it to me. I really appreciate it a lot.

ladyzee by ladyzee 26 Jan 2015

does anyone know if this poem is an embroidery design? and if not can any of you make it into a design, pes format for 10 x 8 hoop? thanks

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by castelyn 06 Aug 2010

Annatjie, thanks for sharing with us all. God Bless. - Hugs Yvonne

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Yvonne thanks a lot for being a good friend.

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by psssst 05 Aug 2010

I too have been alone for many years now. My faith in Christ Jesus has sustained me through many long and lonely days & nights. My faith in eternal life is my mainstay. When I feel the way you do "the 4 walls seems to drown me" that is when I start to imagine the day that I am reunited with my loved ones, and I get so happy just thinking about spending the rest of eternity with them and thanking Jesus for that most precious gift. I pray that this will also help you to feel comforted whenever the 4 walls seems to drown you. I started out sad when I read your post and now I am smiling because I have joy in my heart that YOU reminded me to appreciate what God has given me and to embrace The Word, thank you for your post.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot for your kind words. May God be with you as well.

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by lbrow 05 Aug 2010

Anna God Bless You,being an R.N. & geriatrics my field I have seen so very much. God has special blessings for angels like you. Having been a DON at a LTC & rehab facility for many yrs. I have seen it all. Unless someone has been through what you have they cannot know what it is like. The one think you needed to be a survivor you had, faith in your Lord. He truly does give you the grace to carry on when you do not know what the next moment holds for you. Always He will give you the strength to go on. Now will be a healing time for you & it will take time. continue to remember who gives you your strength and keep busy. Go forward after some much needed rest I'm sure God has more plans for you. In His time you will know. *

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

O this is so sweet of you. Thanks a lot for you kind words.

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by 02kar Moderator 05 Aug 2010

I am so sorry for all that you and your husband have suffered through over the past 10 years. And now your life has changed because you no longer have the cares and concerns of him to manage. I know you feel empty and lonely. How are you going to fill all those hours every day that you devoted to your husband? We are here to help you. You can never truly be alone when you have God in your life and your Cute family. I am looking forward to getting to know you and to see the projects that you will now be able to do. Treasure your years and your memories with him.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot dear. Will be in contact with all my Cute friends out there.

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by haydebug 04 Aug 2010

Annatjie, I am so sorry for your loss and all that went with it through the pass 10 years! The support and strenght that you are showing others is wonderful! Thank you for sharing. You are in my prayers and thoughts! Big hug! Kim

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Kim thanks a lot for your prayers and hugs. Appreciate it a lot.

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by dgarner 04 Aug 2010

Dear one --
I pray that God will send you comfort and peace as you grieve for your husband and as you start your walk down a new road in life.
Thank you for sharing your story with us -- many of us have not had to travel that road yet, and we can learn so much from those that have.
Blessings,
Diane

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Diane, all of you at Cute are such dear and wonderful friends. Thanks a lot for it.

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by marietta 04 Aug 2010

I am so sorry, that you lost your husband. I know how hard it is to look after a Alsheimer patient, because I looked after my mother in law, untill a month before she died. I can only say, that I take my hat of to you for doing what you have done. It is something that you will never forget, and you have done so good.
I cannot begin to comprehend what you must be feeling, because I have to date never been on my own, but can understand how lonely it must be.
All that I can say to you is, that you keep that sunny side up, because things do get better after a while. I hope you make friends at the retirement village soon, and remember that the cuies are always there.
Thank you for caring about others, and that you will know that our prayers will always be with you too.
Lots of warm hugs, and may God bless you
Marietta

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Marietta, thanks a lot for your kind words and prayers. Appreciate it a lot.

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by nama2 04 Aug 2010

I am so sorry too hear of your loss. Just to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot.

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by sqdancer 04 Aug 2010

So very sorry Annatjie, each day that passes will help I am sure. God Bless ...x0x0x

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks dear.

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by suzettebritz 04 Aug 2010

Annatjie, I can't believe what I am reading! This must be a terrible time for you - full of lots of emotions and pain. May you get comfort in Him and find hope for the future. Skryf vir my as jy 'n oor soek om te luister! Dink aan jou. Suzette

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Suzette, thanks a lot. Baie dankie Suzette sal nog vir jou skryf. Dit gaan op die oomblik maar nog deurmekaar hier by my.

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by kathyjt 04 Aug 2010

Sorry for your loss. May God be with you and bless you.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot.

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by keeponsewing 04 Aug 2010

Annatjie, I'm so sorry for your loss. You are a very brave soul to deal with all that you have and still have such an outlook on life. Only God can help you through these coming days. The nights will be the hardest, but draw strength in knowing he no long suffers. The past can never be changed, so enjoy all your good memories. Will continue to hold you up in prayer during this time. Prayerfully, Terre

2 comments
starlet2653 by starlet2653 11 Aug 2010

So beautiful and so true. This poem lends a comfort to everyone.

G-d Bless Starlet

annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Terre thanks a lot for you kind words and lovely poem.

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by read180 03 Aug 2010

Anna My sincere condolences to you for the loss of your loved one. I am sure it is hard now so I will keep you in my prayers. You went through so much in the last 10 years that you must just feel drained. Take time to heal and know that the Lord is with you at all times.
Hugs and prayers Cindy B.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Cindy thanks a lot for thinking of me.

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by pennifold 03 Aug 2010

Dear Anna,

Thankyou for sharing this heartfelt story about your husband and how you are feeling. It gives me great hope to read this. God will always be there for you and as Shirlene said there are many people around the world on this site that are and will be praying for you.

The loneliness will lessen and I am so thankful that he is no longer in pain or distress and please know that you did your best.

God be with you always. Love and blessings Chris

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Chris, thanks for your kind words and beautiful card. Appreciate.

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by gerryb 03 Aug 2010

God IS with you and lots of Cuties supporting you...from all around the world. When you get lonely, just get on that computer and I bet there will be someone here!! Praying for you as you adjust.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

O Gerry, you are such a good friend. Thanks a lot.

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by clawton 03 Aug 2010

Sorry to hear about your loss. It will seem difficult for some time to come. Just keep in mind all of the good things from the past and let go of the rest. You have a strong faith which will carry you through. This is a loving and caring community.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot dear.

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by marthie 03 Aug 2010

Annatjie so sorry to hear about your husband and the suffering the both of you went through. My hart gaan uit na jou toe. LOVIES

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot Marthie. Dit gaan darem al bietjie beter met my dankie.

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by asterixsew Moderator 03 Aug 2010

Take care, you sound as if life has been very tough for a long while. It will take time to get used to the changes in your life. Thinking of you

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Thanks a lot.

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by shirlener88 03 Aug 2010

Anna, you are in my heart and prayers - what a special thing for you to reach out to us - when you are in such a state of affairs. You will know a new peace - knowing that your DH is no longer suffering - I can only imaging the loneliness you must feel to be without your love. Today is the six month anniversary of Rick's stroke and for me - I was feeling such a loss - a loss of the man that I married - but I am so grateful that I still have him in my life - even with all the disablilities. You have so much to teach me - how to handle and deal with what has happened - I too feel the presence of God helping me to cope and guiding me throughout my day. I do gain strength from all the CUTE members from around the world. May we help you get through this time of need and sorrow. What can we do - to make it an easier journey dear? Let us be here for you today and in the coming months - please keep us informed of your needs. What a special lady you are - to let us know - that we too can make it - that we are not alone - you will be in my prayers and I hope that you don't suffer to very much through this time.

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Shirlene my friend thanks for being there for me as well. My best wishes for you and Rick for a speedy recovery for him. May God keep both of you in his loving arms.

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by lflanders 03 Aug 2010

May the Lord bless and keep you in his loving arms! Try to find some peace in the fact that although he is gone for awhile, that he is no longer suffering. You will be with him all too soon so try not to miss him since he is just on the happiest trip he will ever know. You try hard to adjust to your new life without so much stress and make new friends. He left you to go to the Lord so he could have peace with no pains. Miss him but don't mourn him. He is in a much better place. Stay busy and do not dwell on the past and you will find that you can be happy again. Hugs and blessings, Linda

1 comment
annatjievdw by annatjievdw 24 Sep 2010

Linda, thanks for you kind words. It is getting better day by day.

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