by amarilloactor 25 Feb 2009

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to

> respond like this?
>
> Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina
dog
> chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit the Wonder Dog, and was in the
checkout
> line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> What did she think I had- an elephant? So, since I'm retired and
have
> little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I
> was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
shouldn't,
> because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
> pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes
coming
> out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it
> was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to
> load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
two
> every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so
it
> works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here
> that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)
>
> Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
> food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an
> Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.
>
> I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
> laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.
>

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by cordura5 27 Feb 2009

Rather than Jeff Foxworthy, it is more of a Bill Engvall joke. "Here's your sign..."

Like jasanne said, I would never have the nerve, even though I would want to try it. Of course, catch me on a bad day and, well, who knows what might come out of my mouth! (no profanity though, I can guarantee that...)

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by jasanne 27 Feb 2009

I've seen it before, but it's so funny... Apparently I had a Great Uncle who would likely have done something like this. If someone tooted him at an intersection he would stop his car, get out and walk back and ask them - deadpan faced - what they wanted, and go on that they had tooted him so they must have wanted to speak to him... Might be in the family, but I'd never have the nerve!!!!!!!!

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by kttyhwk4 26 Feb 2009

Had read this before but I read again and am still laughing.

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by nurselilly 26 Feb 2009

pmsl i had that come through on an email before christmas i thought it was sooooooooo funny :) i so wanted to try it out in my supermarket lol

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by cracker 26 Feb 2009

You should send that one to jeff Foxworthy!!! CUTE CUTE CUTE!!! I'll have to remember that.

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by mpo14011 26 Feb 2009

Very funny, Eric.Wish I had the guts to say something like this

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by mandor64 26 Feb 2009

Who said we are here to just share embroidery stuff?! ... ha.. Thanks Eric. Mary

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by asterixsew Moderator 26 Feb 2009

Eric I have just read this for the third time and had a brilliant laugh each time, so...thank you very much.

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by auntbaba 26 Feb 2009

Dear Eric, Thank-you! I needed a good laugh!

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by celticlady1031 26 Feb 2009

Eric, I still love this one and wish I had the nerve to say something like it everytime someone aske me a really dumb question. Who was it that said there are no dumb questions? I beg to differ on that one!

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by debleerl 26 Feb 2009

That's was hilarious, I needed a good laugh LOL*

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by marjialexa Moderator 26 Feb 2009

Oh, Eric, I'm still giggling!!! Sounds like my Dad, actually. As Jeff Foxworthy would have said to the lady, "Here's your sign!!" Luv ya, Marji

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by waterlily 26 Feb 2009

Oh My..I think I laughed as hard as the guy behind the story teller! Thanks!

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by mops Moderator 26 Feb 2009

I read this once but it made me laugh again,thanks for sharing.

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by gerryvb 26 Feb 2009

LOL, thanks for sharing!

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by iris2006 26 Feb 2009

That's a funny story Eric, I have had a very good laugh. You made my day.

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by camylow 26 Feb 2009

That was really good, but it was extremely hard trying not to laugh out loud and wake the dh up.

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by migs 26 Feb 2009

Priceless!!!

1 comment
camylow by camylow 26 Feb 2009

I need this picture blown up for the grandbaby to be's room.. Where did you find it.

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by sewmom 26 Feb 2009

Good One. I'll have to share it if you don't mind.

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by adelmarie 25 Feb 2009

ROFL!!! my tummy hurts now, you are something else

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by lbrow 25 Feb 2009

ok eric u r back to your old self. I'm so glad!! I got a good laugh out of this. *

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by gayle950 25 Feb 2009

Great story needed a good laugh

14513
by dkjack 25 Feb 2009

Thanks Eric :) By the way do you have a dog? :)

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by lflanders 25 Feb 2009

I have 2 little Pekingese Girls looking at me like I am crazy! I can not quit laughing. This was as good as it gets when it comes to funny! I have an uncle that I can just hear saying something like that and not cracking a smile. Joke or not, I wouldn't take anything for that tonight! Thanks for the laughter! Linda

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by katydid 25 Feb 2009

Too much Purina dog food!!! I had a can of left over dog food. I lost my dog last summer. I decided to give it to the cat. I opened the can and put about half in my KiKi's dish. She took one sniff and walked out of the room. I guess there is a difference!!!

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by darmoola 25 Feb 2009

Oh! Thank you Eric....I really needed a good laugh....

5256
by sqdancer 25 Feb 2009

Thank you so much Eric, you put the light in the day...hugs x0x0x0x

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by wendymay60 25 Feb 2009

Hubbie came in & wanted to know what I had been laughing about, about 1 hr ago so I put this up for him to read. he is going to share it with his ham radio mates on friday morning. Herb said thankyou

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by marymoore 25 Feb 2009

you my dear sir is a trip lol i LOVE it

1226
by meganne 25 Feb 2009

Thanks so much Eric, laughter is the absolute BEST medicine. hugs n roses, M

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by dlonnahawkins 25 Feb 2009

Ok - Funny - glad you shared.

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by debrar 25 Feb 2009

Loved it, Loved it, absolutely loved it. You are just sooooo bad. Wish I had been there.

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by manami 25 Feb 2009

Eric, I really needed a good laugh! This is a good one :D

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by modo 25 Feb 2009

You are so funny Eric*

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by demiotiv 25 Feb 2009

Thanks so much for this laugh, this one is very good!

329
by sissibrode 25 Feb 2009

SO GOOD !!!! Thanks

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by wendymay60 25 Feb 2009

Very good, need a good laugh to start my day

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by gramsbear 25 Feb 2009

Thanks Eric, I really needed a good laugh! That was cute! I guess I need to start that diet, but I will watch for Irish setters,

1 comment
lflanders by lflanders 25 Feb 2009

Might ought to watch for the cars. They are the ones that can do the most damage! I just could not resist that! Sorry. I'm hanging my head down in shame..Not really All of this is so funny! This made my night!!!!!! Linda

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by lindaavolio 25 Feb 2009

GOOD ONE ERIC!!!! LOL @@@ I enjoyed that one!

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by jrob Moderator 25 Feb 2009

That is hysterical! Wish I were that quick witted!

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