I'm sorry I haven't been here for about a month. My dad, whom I work with everyday on the rememberthedeadeyes.com site we have developed 8 years ago, passed away while I was with him, trying to save him from aspiration pneumonia. It was incredibly hard to see him this way. He passed away while my brother and I were there, with my daughter Lana who is a hospice nurse. It was just so gut wrenching to see this big, strong man of my childhood, turn into this weak, thin shadow of himself. We gave him his wish to have a military funeral complete with 3 gun salutes, and taps played twice - one close by for him and one far away for the soldiers who went before him. It was a beautiful service. Now, my daddy who was with me everyday, is no longer here. The day after the funeral we received calls telling us to get to Mom fast as she was failing (alzheimer's) right then. We were able to be with her, and about 20 family members all around, when she stopped beating. 6 days apart. We had Mom's funeral in a completely personal kind of funeral Mom deserved. She had the quilt she and I had sewn together on top of the casket, just like Dad had the american flag on his. For his we had speakers from all the different military related groups which Dad had been so active. I can't tell you how special it was. And, of course, the were buried right next to Ben's grave. We had it decorated with flowers to match the Red white and blue ones on Mom's and Dad's graves. It just doesn't seem real. Mom told aides that she was going to see angels tomorrow, and going to Heaven the next day. She hadn't been able to talk for about the last month. Before Dad died, when Lana could not feel a pulse and we were sure he would be gone within an hour, he suddenly had a rally. He put his head up and was fully aware of everyone around him and told them all special things about each one. He asked Lana if she wanted to go for a walk which they did many times when she was young. He stayed like this for about a day! He said he wanted to write and everyone quickly searched for something he could write on. and a pen. He started scribbling on the paper and we figured out he was drawing our family tree! That was unreal, and that time was a special gift from God. It lasted about a day and a half joyously greeting everyone.and calling them by name. After that came the emotional trying to save him. In the end he decided to be able to eat and live shorter, or to have a gi tube in and live longer. He chose the shorter and was eating ice cream as he passed away.All this was while my brother had the bad kind of flu, and his granddaughter Ellie had brain surgery. Then his other grandson suddenly had to be rushed to the hospital with a blood sugar count over 600! At least that was handled so he is a little guy where his parents will manage just fine. Ellie has had hemorages and two more surgeries. Then in the middle of Mom's funeral my son in law passed out the EMTs took him on a stretcher write then! He had dehydration and hadn't eaten all day, getting ready for the funeral. Whew! That was an amazing three weeks. Talk about stress! We are all exhausted, now the reality is setting in that I lost both parents 6 days apart, and I can't call Dad to help me with the website as I promised I would. Now comes the hard part, adjusting without them us.

Saying goodbye is never easy. Hugs, Loves and Prayers to you and yours.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you

So sorry for your loss. I can tell there is a lot of love in your family.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you

Jan, I am so very sorry for your losses and the heartache you and your family must have. Pease know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs*, Deb

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, Deb

My sympathies for you and the family What wonderful photos... Beautiful family. Prayers are coming your way for you and the family.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you for your sympathies

So sorry for your losses. Time will help heal the pain and you will remember the good times you all had together. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, Shirley

Sorry you have lost your dad. The pictures Are wonderful /Lillian

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, Lillian

Wonderful, wonderful pictures of a very special man. I am so terribly sorry you have had so much sadness. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, Sarah

Oh Jan, I know how close you were with dad and what a wonderful website you two developed......find comfort in those memories....will pray for you and your family as you grieve....so very sorry!! Love to you.....

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, vicky

What a lovely couple your parents were. The love is so abundant and so obvious as they lean in toward each other in the photos. I'm so sorry for your broken heart. I will pray for you to forge on and finish the web site that your dad was so engrossed in. I'm betting (as a parent) the most important part of developing that site was the time it brought you and he together.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, you are so right. He loved our big project we did together for 9 years.

My condolences , you and your family must miss them so much. Hope the memories will give you comfort , and the pictures are lovely to cherish. Prayers and hugs for you in this hard time...

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, Gerry

Jan I am feeling so very sad for all that you and your family have endured, my heart goes out to you and I pray that all the beautiful memories you have will help sustain you through this terrible time.
Hugs and blessings dear friend.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, so very much, Meganne

My heartfelt sympathy for you and your family , you have all endured so much in such a short time. May your parents many happy times live on in your heart forever, and with the love of family and friends help you to ease your sorrow.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you,

My dear Jan....my heart is aching but I am so very glad you were able to be there...my deepest condolences to you and your family...

Oh dear Jan, now I'm crying again. I hope you are doing o.k. that's a lot of heartache to go through. As I sent you this picture on FB I'm sending it here again - I just love the words in it. Thinking of you my friend and now you and your family have a rest. Love Chris

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, Chris. You always know just what to say.

What a beautiful testament to your parents. The photos show the love that surrounded them. Despite the hardships, you and your family were able to get through it together and though there are hardships yet to come with your parents being gone, they left you a wonderful legacy and many wonderful memories. My Dad too, chose not to have more procedures to prolong his life. But that was his choice and there were so few things left that he had any control over. Your Father looks like he could have had a little mischief in him! Such lovely photos. Sending prayers for you and your family. Hugs. Please take care of yourself. I know how trying it can sometimes be when you are the caregiver.

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by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Thank you, funny you could tell about Dad. He definitely was One of Kind! He was really sweet and fun, and sometimes way too stubborn.

What blessings show in these wonderful photos. It sounds like you have had a wretched time and still honored them in the best ways possible. Life will be so different, for one thing, how will you fill your time! There was a sweet couple in our former church who died a week apart, one not even knowing about the other, and it just seemed so right - how would either be here without the other. But so hard on you who remain.

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by graceandham 28 Feb 2018

Is it just me, or did Benny favor your dad? Same posture and sweetness in the face.

by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Yes, he did, kind of. Ben received the genes Dad had. I always thought they did, how neat you see it too.Thank you, Grace

#1 An anniversary photo
#2 Dad and I at a veteran's day function where Dad did presentation
#3 Brother Bill taking their photo with me behind him getting his photo
#4 Our American Gothic
#5 A favorite of them in Mom's memory care home.
#6 Mom sewing on a quilt she and I made together.
#7Dad entertaining my son Jake, grandson Joseph, and Ben
#8 Lana with Dad just hours before she helped him pass away.

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by parkermom 27 Feb 2018

I'm so sorry for your losses, but at the same time I am so grateful that you got to spend time with them at the end of their lives and to have the special funerals for each. The rest of your family members are getting the care they need, and now you do too. Please take time to grieve and to take care of yourself.

by rescuer 27 Feb 2018

I have wondered and worried about you. You and your family will be in my prayers. I am so glad you had those moments with your dad. They will mean more to you as time passes. I am sure your mom just wanted to be with him. Hugs!!

by crafter2243 27 Feb 2018

As I was reading your posts I was wondering what else God had in store for you. He must have been testing you how much you can bear. Yet there are also many beautiful and touching experiences that will stay in your memory for ever. My condolences to you and your family. Prayers for all.

by hightechgrammy 23 Mar 2018

Our Lord has been faithful to me, always there to give me the strength I needed just at the right time. He gave the miracles we needed for Ben, which sure helps our faith. My brother had such a hard time because at the same time as my parents were dying he had that horrible flu, his granddaughter had surgery to remove a tumor on her pituitary gland, and his 2 year old grandson developed childhood diabetes. I had to be strong for him, and pray with him, when he hadn't done that for many years.