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You've received some excellent advice. One thing further I might add. I have a SIL who has hurt me deeply several times in the past. I have come to a place where I can treat her with civility, even be friendly when we are together, but I no longer open myself up to her or try to be "friends" and therefore no longer feel the pain of feeling betrayed or turned on. She's not my friend, just my SIL and she can no longer hurt me. I won't let her.
by stork
13 Mar 2017
I have the same with my one SIL. I am civil and nothing beyond that. She has alienated both of her brothers and wives. sad.
11468It's one thing when an acquaintance makes a rude comment, but when I friend does it, it is especially hurtful. If this is a friend you want to keep, I'd certainly tell her how you feel. If she is a true friend, she'll apologize. Otherwise, just keep my distance from her and be ready to speak up if she does it again.
by stork
13 Mar 2017
She has been a friend for quite some time but now I need to rethink our friendship. Will continue doing her quilts and treat her like I should but their will be way less sharing of my life with her.
33640Sorry this happened to you. The advice that has been offered is kind, considerate and to the point. Hope you continue to meet with your group and just rise above her and her comment. It will give you the power.
1235I feel for you Tonya. I hate gossip too and how hurtful it is. I agree with all the previous comments and would advise you to just let it go. As long as you don't repeat what you heard it will go no further. It's so frustrating when people say things without thinking of the consequences and what it does to ones self esteem. ❤️ Chris
by stork
12 Mar 2017
It has just been a rough year for us and our extended family so having negative comments and hearing them just sort of sent me off the edge yesterday. Still hurt because she is supposed to be a friend but will watch how much I rely of her in the future. Thanks Chris....Love, Tonya aka stork
by pennifold
12 Mar 2017
Sorry I was on my iPhone and couldn't check my spreadsheet of Cuties' names. I knew one of you was a Wendy - I apologise and have put your correct name in now. ❤️ Chris
234253Don't let one bad apple spoil it for you. You have had some excellent advice from some wise cuties. In my 78 yrs I have found you are always going to see and hear this happen almost anywhere you go. Just keep being your own sweet caring self, ignore the hurt if it was directed at you and let it roll off your like water off a duck. I's that person who will look bad as carolyn says, it's on him or her. Me I'm old enough that if I catch that person alone so no one else can hear, I will tell them that the remark hurt feelings LOL. Have done this a few times, they either look at me like I'm crazy, sneer or wonder of wonders will apologize to the person they hurt. I think some people just open their mouths and speak before their brain gets in gear. No one is perfect, real friends love us in spite of our faults and failures/Lillian
by stork
12 Mar 2017
I have been a member of this group since 2006 and really enjoy the fellowship and the educational stuff they present, would hate to leave. It does seem that she needs to feel better about herself, so maybe that is why she said what she did......just wish I hadn't been in ear shot of it. After reading some of the responses, I realize that she is the one with issues because she is constantly saying negative about others. Thanks Lillian for the wise words.
145789Hay i got thee answer for u ok*****
It is her problem as she saw need to say that **So the problem is hers not YOURS so the trick is to leave it with her and don't borrow it or think about it or put it on you***If i half to say anything i usually say Sorry u feel that way and walk away****Leave it on her not You****
Works for me***Here's a big hugs carolyn
by stork
12 Mar 2017
Carolyn,
You always seem to have the right words for all of us on here. Thank you.....I will tell her that I am sorry she feels so strongly that way about me. I am who I am...take it or leave it! lol
360402Thinking of you. Be strong and Be comfortable in knowing that as long as you are doing the right thing that is what matters most.
13241Some folks seem to use ugly comments to make themselves feel better or look better. I agree, it just makes them look mean. Go again but be sure to say something nice to anyone who is the recipient of an ugly comment. Sometimes the difference 1 person makes is enough to turn the group around. Hugs to you for being the better person.
by stork
12 Mar 2017
Since you said this I can think of the times that she has belittled other members......She is a "friend", so that is what makes her comment about me hurt the most.
I don't need friends like that
168893Maybe whoever leads the meeting could remind everyone of the purpose of the group, to learn more about crafts, sewing, or whatever, at the next session. And that they need to be positive and encouraging to accomplish that purpose!
by stork
12 Mar 2017
I think that is an excellent idea. Over the last year I have heard way too many negative and sometimes very nasty comments.
66506If the comment was directed at you personally I think I would find somewhere else to go rather than confront the jealous persons.
If it was about someone else I would have spoken up and let them know it is not acceptable behaviour.
Truly some people need to be made accountable for their mouths and what comes out of it.
by stork
12 Mar 2017
I will not leave this guild but I will be more wary of those around. This person is supposed to be a friend......
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