by Sewmum1 28 Feb 2017

I need some ideas cuties. The young mother of one of my daughters classmates has passed away after a long battle with cancer. She leaves behind a 9 year old daughter and 6 year old son. Their dad works away for a month at a time so they spend most of their time at their grandmothers. The kids have only been to their own home once when dad was home last week and it is still as it was when their mum passed. I dont know them very well but i would like to help or do something in some way. Any suggestions would be so appreciated.

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by arisann 02 Mar 2017

May our Lord bless and comfort all. Prayers.

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by babash 01 Mar 2017

Are these children friends of your children?
I ask this because years ago I was asked by a Single Mother if her son could come to my house one Saturday to play. I said yes but my son wasn't too happy as he didn't like this boy. It was a once off visit.
If they are friends I would start with a after school play date. Then if all goes well maybe a whole day during the school holidays. This would give the Grand Parents a break.
But remember lots of people rush in at the beginning with offers but it is the long term ones that will help them out. In a couple of months a free day might be just what the Grands need especially with Winter coming on.

2 comments
vickiannette by vickiannette 01 Mar 2017

this is very sound advice.

Sewmum1 by Sewmum1 02 Mar 2017

The boy is my daughters classmate so a playdate whilst not completely out of the question may be awkward. I agree with you about offering lots of help in the early days and then nothing which is why I have not rushed in yet.

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by lilylady 01 Mar 2017

Quilts? If you would have a chance to get something of mothers for material to put in quilt for them to have a remembrance. Ask the grandmother if she knows some article of importance to the mother.. A quilt is personal and gives them something to hold and their own. Good Luck!

1 comment
Sewmum1 by Sewmum1 01 Mar 2017

A quilt is a lovely idea. Maybe I will have a chat to grandma and see what she thinks

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by marianb 01 Mar 2017

Is it possible to help them to make a memory box each about their mum using photo's of things they remember doing or places they went with her. This is something maybe the grandmother can help you with as it will keep her alive in their heart and mind and act as a talking point to help with the grieving process. Marian

1 comment
Sewmum1 by Sewmum1 01 Mar 2017

It is a lovely idea, kids will probably like to do this with their grandma and dad

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by vickiannette 01 Mar 2017

Is it possible to approach the Grandmother and ask if you could give her a few hours of 'child-minding' [for the want of a better word]? I had to look after my grandchildren when our daughter had cancer treatment. Very tiring. One time I curled their hair and took photos. but we did lots of things together and you could too, I am sure it would be appreciated.

1 comment
Sewmum1 by Sewmum1 01 Mar 2017

Good idea but I don't know them very well. Might be a good icebreaker

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by spendlove Moderator 01 Mar 2017

Don't avoid them. If the kids are used to being with yours and coming to your house, make sure this continues. Something has to remain normal for them. Memory cushions and bears are very popular here in UK. If you can get hold of some of her shirts, you could make the children (and their dad) some lovely things. Don't be afraid to ask or you could find they have all been cleared out before you pluck up courage.

3 comments
Sewmum1 by Sewmum1 01 Mar 2017

A bear would be lovely given the children are still so young. I am not sure though if the family are ready yet to let go of anything but it couldn't hurt to ask for when they are ready

rescuer by rescuer 01 Mar 2017

I was surprised how many people advised my mother to get rid of all my father's things. She kept 3 things that I know of and everything else is gone. She did it while we were at school. We were all quite young and folks thought it best for my mom to "move on"

Sewmum1 by Sewmum1 02 Mar 2017

Oh that is so sad.

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by graceandham 28 Feb 2017

It might be a favor to the kids as well as the grandmothers to offer an occasional playdate at your house or to offer to be available for occasional carpooling. The kids just need surrounding with love, and the grandmothers and the dad, too! In terms of sewing, have your seen the memory cushions folks are making from a sweater or shirt of the deceased loved one?

1 comment
Sewmum1 by Sewmum1 28 Feb 2017

You are right. I have heard about the memory cushions, I will look up some pictures.

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