Thanks for your comments, I try to get out of my black hole, and look a little brighter in Ayas future, but thought that it is difficult at the moment. Either way, I love the little girl all over the jorden.Knus and many greetings from Peersen. (Rita)
Your beautiful, lovely and happy grandchild will remain beautiful, lovely and happy. Hers will be a slightly different world from another child but that won't stop her enjoying it and sharing her discoveries with family and friends. Think of the beauty, love and happiness she will bring to everyone around her. For starters, she has a grandma who thinks the world of her. With every child we learn to adjust and that's what will happen with Aya and the people who love her. Join her on her journey and be a stable part of her life. You can be such a blessing to her and her family if you remain steadfast in your love and belief that Aya will grow to be a beautiful, lovely and happy young woman.
Much love to you as you adjust to this news - AlmaG.
Oh, my dear, I cannot possibly know your pain because I've never had a child or grandchild. But some of your friends who have answered you here have had experience with "differently abled" children, and it's obvious that love and care and prayer can work wonders, both for the child and the parents and grandparents. Shock and grief are normal reactions faced with any crisis regarding our loved ones, so don't be embarassed about crying your eyes out whenever you need to. But please try not to let your tears blind you to the possible. Maybe they are just the water that will nourish new and different dreams, victories and abilities that could never have grown or been imagined without seeing through and shedding that waterfall of tears. Remember that Niagara Falls always has beautiful rainbows hovering over it. I will keep Aya and all your family in my prayers, and I am SO glad that you have this wonderful, caring Cute Community where you can share your feelings, and there are people who are walking the same road and are so willing to understand and offer their sympathy and help. I am so very sorry that you feel so bad right now, but tears of joy are splashing on my computer because of our generous and caring Cute Community coming together like this, and sharing their very personal stories with you, and offering you hope. Thank you to all the beautiful Cuties for your heartfelt and uplifting responses. This is truly the BEST of what we are as a Community. Huge cyber-hugs for all of you! Marji
Wow, look at all of the positive comments made by mothers and grandmothers of children with special needs. We all remember the overwhelming sadness you are now feeling, but you listen to us: it will not stay black. There are so many things you can for your precious Aya.
My precious grandson has cerebral palsy. His is also min. I told my daughter that he would be the luckiest in marriage because he would be loved so very much for what he could do and there wouldn't be consideration for what he couldn't do. God has used Luke already because he is abnormally smart. He is in the first grade and reads on a 5th grade level. He is able to help some other children in his class.
Look for what she can do and emphasize that so that she knows where she can excel and not be focused on the things that are frustrating and hold her back. You will find guidance and love and help for her and that will change everything. Sending love an hugs to you and your beautiful, lovely and happy grandchild.
Can I just say that this post has made me stop and take notice of the beautiful hearts here, once again. I'm so proud to be a part of this family.
So do I.
I agree with gerryb, have your cleansing cries, & I say cries because a one-time cleanse isn't enough. But, please, remember two things: 1.) God sends the "special" kids to "special" parents and grandparents because only He knows who can handle & love them 2.) Normal is ONLY a setting on a clothes dryer. Your grandchild will always be beautiful, lovely & happy with your continued love & care. May you feel God's love in many ways.
Cry, tears cleanse. Then read all the wonderful comments below & take heart. You & your family are not alone in this. Many have walked that road, many more will. Expect trials & hardships, but expect joys too!! At age 3, she will have lots available to help her. Don't despire...and know prayers around the world are being lifted up for her.
Three years is so young, and that is especially good. It used to be that the diagnosis was like a huge stamp put on our children. But that is not so any longer. There is hope. There are many other families to help.
I thought you might find some solace in this poem. Many families have loved this:
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
"Welcome to Holland (Part 2)" by Emily Perl Kingsley
I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned.
I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger—the pain and uncertainty. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time.
I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.
Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad.
I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?
Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its' tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.
I have come to love Holland and call it Home.
I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.
Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!
what a wonderful piece - will copy and save this for my own use. It's hard to imagine but you will be at peace and celebrate many victories just as you normally would with a grandchild. They will just be different victories. We will be praying for and with you.
Will pray for YOU!!!!Carolyn
I agree with Sue:Autism is not the end of the world, just the beginning of a different one, we all adjust to God's plans for us & how we do it is what makes us stronger people. Our grandson is also a special needs child & he is learning things differently so we adapt because we love him & we except him & his limitations...........Don't we all have them.............. It doesn't make us less so why should it make him less. You are not alone in this journey reach out as there are many support groups there to help you all. Hugs
I hurt for you. We know your grandchild is still beautiful, lovely, and happy. Please don't be overcome with titles and labels and worry.
I pray for you all to see this as God sees this and keep looking to Him. I would like to send you a Private Message, Joan
My heart was broken when I discovered my youngest could not longer communicate after a sudden illness at age 18 months. I also cried. I feel your pain and wish I could hug you.
My son has made such progress he will (with continued progress) be able to live on his own and be a productive member of society. He is brilliant -- in his own way! He gets excellent grades in school. He has friends. He communicates very well now. He will be able to make good money with his skills and talents that only came from his affliction.
What a beautiful perspective you have taken. Your son is an example of what a mother's love can do beyond the diagnosis and labeling by the experts.
Is seems like totally devastating news, and I do not wish to minimize your pain, so for now all I will say is I see your commitment to life in the projects you have made and I believe your grandchild will benefit from your efforts and perserverance. Hug n smile, christine
Hello Rita,I also have a grandchild with special needs.At first,it is hard to accept.Your reaction is normal, because we all want our children to be 'normal'.I know this is a blow,but don't stay down.....I also,work around children with different special needs. We had a little boy come to us,autistic, that never spoke.He has been in school 2 years now and can say complete sentences.You ask him things and he responds correctly.....We don't know what the future holds, but we will pray for your grandchild, and those who care for him/her.May God bless you and your family-Toogie
It can be difficult when a loved one, especially a child, is diagnosed with a life challenge...but I agree with Sue...it is the beginning of a different life journey...together.
Autism is not the end of the world, just the beginning of a different one.
That is the sweetest way I have ever heard it said..
Saying a prayer for him and for his family. If he is happy, his world may be better than you think. Just keep on loving him, that's what grannies do. God bless you all.
So terribly sorry to read of this. I hope that you have good medics where you are so that your little GC can get the best treatment. Keep strong, the family need you. Hugs Sarah.
I am so sorry to hear this diagnosis. Will continue to pray for a medical breakthrough to help your grandchild and all the others affected by this. Hugs.
I am so sorry. But, this is not the end of the world. I have a child who has many disabilities, and he brings so much joy to everyone he knows. I know many families who have children with autism. Many of these children have mild forms, because they have therapy and they learn to communicate. They enjoy life and they families feel very blessed. it is very scary, especially at first when we don't know what the future will hold. There will be lots of wonderful people who will help your family. Your lovely and happy grandchild will again be happy and loving. You will see. May God bless you, and give you strength. Hugs, from a mom of a child with special needs. Jan
Hi Rita, I'm assuming you mean Infantile Autism Min. I just looked it up on the Internet. I am sorry he has been diagnosed with this syndrome, but I'm sure there will be some form of help in your city's hospitals. I'll keep you in my prayers. How old is Aya now?
Aya being 3 years old in September.