Hi girls! Just wanted to let you know I am alive and still kicking! I don't feel that great but am hanging in there. So far the doctors are amazed with me. I have good days and bad. Yesterday was bad, so far today is OK. I have the tremors in my hands bad so it is hard to type or write. Some days I don't even get on the computer to check emails. It is so hard without John being here with me, my camera and computer decided they don't like to play well together so I can't even take a pic of the pretty birds I have seen lately, a pair of woodpeckers that are so pretty and some goldfinch too. Outside of the hospital there is nobody to see, I sit on my patio and most of my neighbors ignore me. One did come sit with me for a very short visit, where are all of those high school classmates who acted like they couldn't wait to see me after the reunion? My fault too I guess, I don't ask for help or visits, don't like to, figure if they really want to see me they would come around or call. It is very lonely here. I see my parents often cause of the doc visits. I still get chemo every 2 weeks and after the next round we do scans with hopes for good news. My boys still don't come around too often but after that last episode that put me in the hospital that turned out to be a mix of overdose and withdrawal someone has stayed the night to be sure I was OK in the morning. I am doing better now. I was alone the last 2 times. Well, just wanted to update you and hope to do a little housework. If I do a little housework I will suffer tomorrow but it needs done. Cutie hugs to everyone! Deb

Hi Debra. I have been away from Cute for a while and now have a few minutes every now and then to drop by. Have been thinking of you recently and am very pleased to see this post. Wave to your neighbours and imagine it is one on your Cute friends, Hugs Marg

Hugs and prayers for you dear Debra. I am so glad to see you checking in from time to time! May your days improve again and again!

OH Deb how I wished we lived closer to one and another. I would love to visit with you, being alone isn't easy. It sounds like you are doing well - even with the troubles. Perhaps you could ask one of the boys if they could help you with the PC & camera. I don't have my printer hooked up and I do miss it - along with not being able to find my cord for my camera - I feel I am almost in the same boat with you on this one - but I will find the time and get it setup, when I am really tired of not having it. I will call you in the next couple weeks and see how you are doing, too.

What a great surprise!!!! I was not able to open the pc and today the first thing I see is your post...... so glad to hear from you ,

Deb, I am sorry you are experiencing a 'down' time,but you know, usually a person as yourself , immune system is weakened and people are sometimes told not to have company.Don't want you to 'catch' something.And then sometimes,I think, people are uncomfortable,b/c they don't know what to say, should they ask about your health or stay away from the subject. I think they care about you, as we all do, but you may have to reach out to them and put them at ease. You know its hard to visit someone, when you don't know what to say. ..I have a friend for over 40 years, since we were in Germany together.We, maybe would phone, just a few times a year. Well, I wanted to go see her, since I have a new car. I called and found out her husband has cancer of the esophagus, 3rd stage. I was shocked & that she hadn't called. I never said I wanted to go see her. She said he gets depressed. Well, I have been calling her more often now, at least once a week. This week when I called, she had asked me something and so when I found out, I called her back the next day. Guess who answered? It was her husband, she was out. I haven't spoken to him in over 40 yrs! His vioce was raspy, but we had a good chat and we,HE, LAUGHED. I think (hope) it lifted his spirits.She came in while we were talking and he didn't give her the phone-LOL.. People do care, give them a chance.God Bless you,Deb-Toogie

1 comment

by ansalu 05 Jul 2013

Toogie I'm sure your friend was very happy to see her husband smile and laugh again :o)

Hi Debra, glad to see your post, hope all goes well and you get the result you want. wish I could just swing by and make you a cuppa. perhaps you could pretend I am there beside you and we could have a chat...huge hugs Sally

Hi Deb, I wish I could come sit on your porch with you... here is a huge (((((( HUG )))))) for you! You ARE an amazing lady and we love you! Be strong and know we think you are CUTE! Jan

Dear Debra, I'm so very happy to see you on here.
Missed you!

I have been away from Cute for a bit but first thing I did was see if you were doing any better. I'm sorry that you feel so lonely. I lost a friend to pancreatic cancer a few months ago and I was one that was guilty of not visiting as much as I "Thought" about her. I was afraid of intruding on family time or worried that I would wake her. The family ended up making it easy by telling us the "good" times to call or by a sign on the front door if she was able to receive visitors. So by knowing between 10 am & 1 pm were her "good" hours - I dropped in and had a lovely visit the week before she passed. So my long way around the bush....let friends know that you would like company and tell them the times that you feel the best and the times when you need to rest. If my friend would have asked me to come - I would have. I'm sure that you have friends just waiting to be asked. Give it a try! And keep positive because it does wonders for the body!!
Love & Prayers....Rene'

Would you allow cards? I know awhile back you asked we not send you anything but I think it would be nice to have cards or notes of encouragement in your mailbox. Deb i am still in the hospital and today is day 93, I know it picks me up when mail arrives from a Cutie. I had hoped to be home long before this but it may be a couple of more weeks. Thinking of you
Bev in Texas

I agree with everyone else....People feel inadequate when someone is ill...They still love and think of you...Not everyone has the strength like you, but there are other places that can check upon you and visit you....There are senior citizen groups that love to go and visit people especially when someone is down and under...It will make you less lonely and it also gives them a chance to feel needed too...It can help you make new friends and give you peace of mind knowing someone is going to be checking in on you....I know my mother is thinking about doing this...She has time on her hands and thinks this will help her from being lonely also...IN this way you get two people who are winning...you get company and saftey knowing people are around if you need. and they feel like they are needed also....Think anout this and try having someone or yourself check into it....PRAYERS...deanna

good to read your post again. i have missed you. prayers for strength & comfort.

Deborah, I am sure your friends are thinking of you, even if they don´t visit. Know it is hard for some, don´t know what to talk about. A big hug from Anita

Oh, Debra, it is so wonderful to get on Cute this morning, and see a post from you!! I have been thinking a lot about you lately, and wondering how you are! The doctors should be amazed with you, cause all of us are, too! You are such an inspiration of strength and hope in all you have endured and continue to go through! Reach out to others, and let them know your needs! Many may assume that you do not feel up to a visit, and stay away. They may be waiting for you to let them know you want a visit!
I am still praying for renewed health, strength, more smiles, and better days for YOU, my friend!
Hugs, Angel

Deb, it's so good to see you were able to come at Cute. I hope you feel the love and support of the cute family. You are in many thoughts and in prayers, and I hope you can feel it a little every time you feel lonely or lost.Hang in there dear Deb, Hugs and love, Gerry

Hello Deborah - I am so thrilled to see your post, keeping us informed. Much love and hugs. Sarah

You are in my prayers also, Keep these comments close and read and reread them. Have you written your life story? Writing is good medicine, and what a legacy you will leave for your sons and gc. It will also take you back to happier times. If you are to shaky to write tape your voice. There are voice activated recorders. Have a friend or your parents help you.

When my mother-in-law was terminally ill I would call her every night and write down stories. She left a 17 page life story, and it was my treat to help make it happen. I don't hear so well on my cell phone so I'm not sure I could make it happen again, but if someone on CE would take the challenge and you wanted it to happen it could.

1 comment

by shirlener88 11 Jul 2013

great idea.

Deb I am glad you felt well enough to write. Hang in there. You are always in my prayer. I don't know if this helps, but it is not unusual for friends and acquaintances to stop visiting and calling on Cancer patients. I believe that they feel bad for you and mostly helpless. I have seen this numerous times and have experienced it personally when my husband had cancer. Truly I think they don't know what to say so they avoid it. They also may be afraid to wake you up from a peaceful sleep. I don't think they have not stopped caring for you and if you feel well enough you might want to call them You know that you always can come here for company. I hope you get some good news soon and that you feel better.
Hugs Angie

Hang in there ,sweetie, we love you!!! Kay

Sooooo glad to see a post from you! I am guilty of holding back when friends are sick too. I think people are afraid they will bother you, or just don't know what to say. Take that first step, even if it's a phone call to a friend. Then ask all about what they are doing, etc. Let them know you are as normal as you can be with all the problems. Too bad so many of the cuties aren't in your area to help lift you up! Love & prayers, Gerry B in TN

Debra, when it gets lonely, try calling a neighbor to check up on them. Even thought they may not be sick, it is the contact that makes the difference. It seems so hard for us to ask for help, but others are in the same place. You are a fighter and will make it so take heart the road is rough and full of holes that we sometime fall into, but you keep climbing. My prayers are with you for peace, comfort and healing as only our Heavenly Father can give. Hugs.

Debra, I too think of you daily as my dh is going thru similar health issues. If I was close to you I would be there to help you in any way I could. Reach out to people, you need friends and distractions. Take care and so good to hear from you. Hugs..Carol

Dear Debra - I think of you daily and hope that the next scans give you the news you want most. Your courage and determination is an inspiration to those treading the same road. When I'm on my Hotline tonight I'll ask for neighbourly friendship to come your way.
Sending you an Aussie Hug from way DownUnder......
Hang in there, Deb......
AlmaG.

1 images:[1]

Good to see you post. I want to add something my daughter has said, "If it doesn't go from your mouth to someones ear...no one knows." Swallow your pride and ask for the help and company you want and need. You have many friends here, but we are far away...and can only listen and sympathise.....am sending a big cyber hug.

Sweetie leave the dustbunnies where they are and relax. How sad that so many friends stay away but maybe they really don't know if it is okay just to come around to visit you. Are you still planing to sell the house?
Hope you will baffle your doctors at the next scans ;o)
Send you a big cyberhug...
Greetings, Bettina

1 images:[1]

I am so glad to see you on Cute. I think about you often & talk to my daughter about you & how strong you are. So sorry to hear you are lonely, I wish I was close enough to come over & see you , I would bring my daughter & do your cleaning for you. Keep up the good work, praying for you every night. Hope the scans are wonderful for you. Arlene

Some have told me they didn't want to bother me thinking I might be sleeping/resting and others said they just didn't know what was needed done. Send some emails and make some phone calls to see if you can't get your friends to come by more. They need to know you want company. Will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope the scans will show improvement.

Dear Debra, it's so nice to see your post. I'm sorry that you are alone and wish I could come to visit and help you. Remember that we are are all here, sending you our best wishes, love and hugs.

Lidia

Deb, how nice to read some news about you. We all are thinking of you. Is it a pitty that you have to share you coffee alone outside. I wished I cold be there to share it with you. .. Remember that we all are there for you. Always SOMEONE is online here for you. Big hugg send.

1 images:[1]

I am so sorry you are lonely, but your Cute family are with you always, even if just in spirit! You are an amazing courageous woman, keep up the strength. Big hugs and prayers for you. xxxxx

1 images:[1]

Hi Deb, I am amazed at your stamina, and will to live. God has given you this time and you can do with it as you will. I know how hard it is to reach out to others when lonely. I hope you can reach out to an organization to do something for you that makes life a little easier. I know when my cute friends call me on the phone it makes me happy, I would be happy to converse and we only have 1 or 2 hours time difference. I can tell you what weather is coming and you can tell me when the sun will set. You have many friends and people who care about you. I am reachable for you. Hugs to you, Christine

It is good to see you are still surviving but I am sad that you are lonely. When you are feeling alone, come back here to Cute -- we only have virtual hugs and flowers but we really do care about you. Many of us Cuties would come help -- if only we lived closer to you.
Still praying for you!

Oh Deb i wish i was your neighbor i would help and do everything i could to make you happy :):)Hang in their God is Good .I will be praying for u Carolyn

So good to hear from you Deb! I wish I was close, I'd come and have coffee/Mello Yello with you if I was near you. Is there no one who could come and clean house for you? I agree that people should know you could use that kind of help but you may have to actually ask. Some people think they may be intruding if they just offered.
Cathy

Love you sis sent and email. DeVon

So good to hear from you I do think about you and i missed you Praying for you Thank you for update Love and hugs Maria

I am glad to hear from you too Deb & I too have kept you in my prayers. Sometimes people are afraid when they hear the big C & don`t know what to say or do. I agree with Jerri-Lyn have someone for coffee if the first person says no ask the next one & so on. If that makes you uncomfortable then grab a cuppa & come here there is always someone here 24-7 & we are happy to chat with you too! Hugs & more Hugs for you as you are not really alone. Loralye

So GOOD to see you posting Deb. Hard to read neighbours are ignoring you, and you feel lonely :(, keep checking in, keep fighting, & always remember you are a CUTIE. Your Cute Family are always here for you. Sending HUGE CYBER HUGS, Jussy :)

Hi Deb, it was so nice seeing you on Cute this morning. I keep you in my prayers and think your amazing for struggling through everything you have to deal with. I wish I was close and we would visit all the time. Come visit with all us Cuties as often as you can.

Hi Deb, It is so good to hear from you. Believe me when I say we have missed you. When you are able, please stop in and visit with the cuties. We love to hear from you. Hugs, Mary

Dear Debbie, I am sorry to hear that you are so lonely. I wish I could be there for you. Sometimes people are just too scared of sharing one's pain and illness. Friends then become few and far between. I do hope that somehow you will still enjoy sitting on your verandah and gazing at God beauty outside. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I wish you a peaceful and happy life. May God grant that your results will be much better with the next tests. Lovies. Susie, South Africa.

1 comment

by graceandham 29 Jun 2013

Susie's right - they're afraid of you and your illness and what you might say - kinda how they treat widows! I'm so glad you felt well enough to type a few lines to those of us waiting to hear from you. Hope all continues to improve. Take some pics of the birds anyhow. I'm taking pics of mushrooms in my yard this month (lots of rain) to see how many colors of them and shapes of them I can find! Looking forward to your next check in, Betsey

Glad to hear from you - we have all been thinking of you.
Hugs

Good Morning Deb! I'm so very happy to see you on here. I pray for you daily and I'll add to my prayer that someone will come along and share your morning coffee. Could you call up the one that came to visit and invite her over for coffee or tea? It's hard to ask for help when you have been so independent , I know, but sometimes you just have to. Made me think of this joke:
It was flooding in California. As the flood waters were rising, a man was on the stoop of his house and another man in a row boat came by. The man in the row boat told the man on the stoop to get in and he'd save him. The man on the stoop said, no, he had faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising and the man had to go to the second floor of his house. A man in a motor boat came by and told the man in the house to get in because he had come to rescue him. The man in the house said no thank you. He had perfect faith in God and would wait for God to save him. The flood waters kept rising. Pretty soon they were up to the man's roof and he got out on the roof. A helicopter then came by, lowered a rope and the pilot shouted down in the man in the house to climb up the rope because the helicopter had come to rescue him. The man in the house wouldn't get in. He told the pilot that he had faith in God and would wait for God to rescue him. The flood waters kept rising and the man in the house drowned. When he got to heaven, he asked God where he went wrong. He told God that he had perfect faith in God, but God had let him drown.
"What more do you want from me?" asked God. "I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
I send you warm hugs and hope you know how much we care about you.

1 images:[1]

1 comment

by pldc 29 Jun 2013

this is perfect!

I am happy to see you here! You are not alone . You have many friends here who pray for you and are here to talk to . Sit on OUR patio here and you have a lot of company stopping by. hehe You will never be alone here. Keep on amazing all those doctors. Stop by here and if you can not type just say HI. We will fill in the rest. You are amazing and we will keep on praying for you! Big Hug Suzanne

Hi Deb ! I wish you all the best. Let the dust settle in your home, it will wait until you feel better.

Healing hugs, Bonnie

You are one amazing woman Debra. I pray for you by name every night as I retire. I have two sliding doors either side of our bedroom and Trevor always laughs at me as I stand there and look out at the stars, or at the moment grey skies. I pray for you first, then a few other ladies on here who need prayers. It's been a blessing for me and I know that He hears our prayers. I'm so pleased to see that you are still hanging in there. I'm also sorry that not many people are visiting you, I really don't think we, as a society deal very well with people who have Cancer. My best friend had Breast Cancer and there were many of her friends who didn't come round to see her - as you say it's very lonely. I just wanted to let you know that you are not forgotten down under. Love, prayers and blessings to you and your family, Chris.

1 images:[1]