by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

7/15/2012, spent over an hour and a half at the hospital ER with hubby, he was nauseated, chest burning, heart palpitations and head throbbing, all checked out fine and I put together the amount of salt he had eaten during the day and diagnosed too high blood pressure and was right, could have saved him a bundle! I told him and he can't eat like that, he is on a bunch of blood pressure pills, won't use his C-pap machine, has type 2 diabetes and high cholesterol. He eats when he is out without me, I find sandwich wrappers, candy bar wrappers and junk in the car all the time. Who is gonna go first? I have no choice because the cancer will take me when it does but he can control it and won't! Sorry, had to vent a bit! Hugs to everyone, eat better and live longer for your family! Debra

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by dilceia 19 Jul 2012

I am so sorry to hear this.
It does not talk this way. We love you and we want you of our side, dear! God is merciful! God protect you !ALWAYS".
We love you, Debra! A kiss in your heart.

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leenova54 by leenova54 20 Jul 2012

Thank you, you are such a dear one! He has issues, I try to help him but he has to help himself. He knows I need him here to help me but men will be boys, lol. Hugs.

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by pennifold 19 Jul 2012

Wouldn't you think that a scare like this would make him change his ways? I know you are trying Debra to help him, but he has to take the first steps to self-control. It's hard, I know, but with help from all of the family he can do it. Glad to see you still have your sense of humour and I pray for you daily. Love Chris

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leenova54 by leenova54 19 Jul 2012

I just carry on. It's in his hands. I am glad so many people care about me though!

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by brendaleas 19 Jul 2012

Debra
I am so sorry to hear about your husband. May the Lord of all open his eyes to the heart ache he is putting you thouht. God bless you too. Amen.

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leenova54 by leenova54 19 Jul 2012

Thanks, we just do what we can.

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by ansalu 19 Jul 2012

Oh Debra so sorry that John has health problems.
He's like m sisters hubby: He has something with the bowel and should not eat to fat too but he knows every Döner booth in their area!
Hope he is feeling better so you can do your trip to the beach :o)
Hugs for you my dear
Bettina
PS: Is your pain away now with the new meds?

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leenova54 by leenova54 19 Jul 2012

My hubby has had a food problem for almost as long as I have known him, he just eats what he wants. I can't say too much, I eat too much sugar and that isn't good either. Oh well. The cortisone shot did help my hip a lot, I feel much better as long as I am careful how I walk and not to walk too much!

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by shirlener88 18 Jul 2012

Debra, I am so sorry to hear this - but there isn't much you can do - except tell him you love him and wouldn't want to bury him anytime soon. I think of how Rick's stroke happened - he was stressed out that week - his blood pressure went through the roof - I guess - that is what caused the stroke - he now has diabetes and high cholesterol - the meds he takes are unreal - without one or the other - I don't know how he gets by - I do know - he isn't eating wrong and he takes his meds on time and correctly. Men just don't get it when it comes to what they need to do to take care of themselves - but then I can't talk - I have health issues, too.

I can see you do have a sense of humor about this - in spite of all that is going on. That is a good thing and so happy to know you got out and did something for you, too.

Loads of HUGS, dear one.

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leenova54 by leenova54 19 Jul 2012

I just have to do what I can for myself and let him do what he is going to do cause he doesn't seem to care.

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by juanitadenney 18 Jul 2012

Men!!!
why can't we get through to them that if they take care of themselves they will live longer? I am always saying a prayer that you are doing alright so guess we will have to start praying that your husband realizes he needs to change his bad habits.

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leenova54 by leenova54 18 Jul 2012

Thank you so much! I told him we are in a race to see who gets the life insurance policy before it expires in 4 years. I get $100,000 if he goes, he gets $50,000 if I go first, lol! We keep it light around here.

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by lbrow 18 Jul 2012

Guess there is no happy medium anymore. Now my hubby had his Sodium bottom out. Put him in the hosp. with irreg. Heart beat, spastic muscles, incontinence etc. He wound up with pneumonia also. He does nothing for himself, I prepare all he eats, dole out his pills when he is suppose to have them. He cannot drive anymore, uses a rolling walker in the house and a mobility scooter when we go somewhere. don't know what advice to give you exept, love and accept him/Lillian

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leenova54 by leenova54 18 Jul 2012

There are a lot of women here on this site alone that are dealing with men and the medical problems we are carrying besides our own.

marjialexa by marjialexa 18 Jul 2012

Oh, Lillian, I'm so sorry. It's very hard when we have to watch those we love going thru such struggles. You're both always in my prayers, I hope you know. Love M

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by marjialexa Moderator 17 Jul 2012

Debra, I'm so sorry to hear this! I watched my aunt & uncle kill themselves with food, and make every excuse in the book for why it wasn't a problem. They were diabetic, and if they wanted a second hunk of cake, they just popped another diabenase. I just don't understand how food can be such a ruling passion over feeling good. My dad was also a diabetic, inherited from his mother, who was a brittle diabetic & died rather young, in her 50's. But in the 1920's they didn't have quite the information we have now. But my dad, when he got diabetes, kept it under control with diet for many many years, and not until he was in his late 60's or early 70's even gotten onto oral medication. He "just said no!" to stuff he couldn't have. Or, he would have a little taste, a baby ice cream cone, the tiny bag of chips, etc. He was so good most of the time that he could cheat a little bit once in a while. But he was a very disciplined man, and wanted to be well, not sick. He had things to do, places to go, & was willing to sacrifice cake to do that. Interesting, the choices people make in their lives. You can't change him, he has to WANT to be well, not sick. I hope maybe this little trip will shake him up. And please take care of yourself, too, dear friend. Hugs, Marji

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marjialexa by marjialexa 17 Jul 2012

By the way, get one of those wrist blood pressure cuffs, cheap, meant to be used at home. My late husband used one as a caretaker, they're pretty accurate. Save a couple ER $$.

leenova54 by leenova54 17 Jul 2012

He has one and an arm one and all the stuff. He uses his parents dying young on his problems. He was 13 when him mom died. His Dad died the day before his own 67th birthday, hubby is 65.

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by airyfairy 17 Jul 2012

Thank goodness he is all right Debra. I do not think there is much you can do. He is a grown man and he knows that he is not doing himself any favours with the junk he is eating. You just look after yourself. Hugs Sarah.

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leenova54 by leenova54 17 Jul 2012

Yep, I went shopping all day and came home to find him still in the recliner in his undies and tee shirt with a cereal bowl on the floor in front of him. Sloppy mess. I get disgusted.

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by mumzyfarm 17 Jul 2012

I have really changed my family's diet I cook with no salt and we are all on a no beef diet. I put Mrs Dashes in every thing I cook you can find a lot of different seasonings by Mrs Dash and our favorite is the lemon pepper and chicken flavor has absolutely no salt. My family feels better since starting this diet and I haven't had very many complaints we eat lots and lots of vegetables and fruits Hope you can get him turned around there is good food without eating at the fast food restaurants.

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leenova54 by leenova54 17 Jul 2012

There is a Mrs Dashes bottle sitting in front of him plate but he looks for the salt anyway. Just threw out the old bottles and bought new. His choice I guess but I won't like driving myself back and forth from chemo if that starts up again and he is gone! He got healthy food yesterday but 2 1/2 pies and thought one of the 1/2 pies should be 1 serving! He ate the one alone cause I don't like pineapple much and I ate 1/3 if the 1/2 cherry pie, shopping alone for me today and he will probably finish it off while I am gone!

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by bevgrift 17 Jul 2012

I agree about the salt too.
My family all know me, I cooked with no salt when the kids arrived.
DH started blood pressure medication,he eats diff and always added things like pickles and curried chillies to his food. So brave me, chucked them out, did he make a fuss!! He also cheats and eats the DZ liquorice.
But I think the manufacturers of food are not fair.
We had our money refunded for our Christmas turkey last year. The stupid turkey was impossible to eat so we took it back the day after Christmas, others might have done the same cos the shop owner was not surprised. We joke about having a free christmas lunch again for this year. Eat some and take it back.Ha Ha.
I always dream of having my own chain store with organic foods and non salted Items. Plain Bread and spread already exceed my salt limit. Eating out is also not fun.
Hugs to you for your brave effots on your DH.
Bev

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leenova54 by leenova54 17 Jul 2012

Yes, food is already laden with salt to prevent spoiling and stuff, it's awful but he won't listen and at 65 he isn't about to change. He thinks cause he eats 100% wheat bread it's OK to have 3 sandwiches for lunch! I tell him to have one and later if he is hungry he could have another but there goes 1/2 a loaf of expensive bread in 2-3 days with just him eating it!

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by drro 17 Jul 2012

Hello Debra, Glad to see your post here, but unhappy to know your were so burdened with an ER visit. I continue to ask God to heal and keep you!! and... I will keep your hubby in my prayers too! HUGS and God Bless!

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leenova54 by leenova54 17 Jul 2012

Thank you, I was crying a bit there just because I am so sick of that place, 2 years now and between us the car should know it's own way there!

drro by drro 18 Jul 2012

I hear you:>) I always think of the remark the professor used in "My Fair Lady," but in reverse: Why can't a man, be more like a woman:>)?

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by capoodle 16 Jul 2012

My DH had an 80 mile plus ambulance ride to a hospital for heart surgery. He had the high blood pressure and higher cholesterol. I made the effort to get rid of all the bad food choices at the home and make healthy dinners. Cholesterol came down then went up. He was also eating stuff out that wasn't good choices. I told him it's not on me because I'm not the one putting the bad stuff in his mouth. After a few bad cholesterol readings he is now being careful what he eats but I still knows he gets chips out. He felt that if he was on the cholesterol medication that he could eat what ever he wanted. Not the case. It is hard to break years of bad eating habits.

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leenova54 by leenova54 17 Jul 2012

Yep, my hubby opens a bag of chips and thinks he must eat the whole bag at once. He grocery shops all the time without me, nothing more I can do.

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by dec716 16 Jul 2012

could it be he is so concerned about you he is not thinking of himself?

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

No, he's always been this way, just getting worse as the years go by.

marjialexa by marjialexa 17 Jul 2012

Maybe eating is his way of dealing with stress? More stress (like your being sick) more eating--did his Mom use food as a comfort if kids were hurt, sick?

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by jrob Moderator 16 Jul 2012

Remember how the Three Stooges used to SMACK each other in the back of the head. Do that to him....tell him I sent it and he better quit worrying you. Don't make me come up there! ;)

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

I just yelled at him and told him no more adding salt, he has salt substitutes sitting right in front of him!

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by devon 16 Jul 2012

Punch him in the arm for me. Happy that everything is okay. Sending out hug to both. DeVon

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

Thanks sweetie.

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by crafter2243 Moderator 16 Jul 2012

You can only do so much. He is grown up and is making his choices. Right now you have to take care of yourself. Come here and vent anytime.
Hugs Angie

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

I agree! He is 65 years old and I am only his wife. I feel better when I do things to ignore what is going on so I just get done what I need to do, like the sink of dirty dishes awaiting me, lol!

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by gerryvb 16 Jul 2012

whenever you feel like it: vent ! we are here for you. Hope he learned from this. Hugs !

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

He hasn't learned, he is shopping for low salt food as I type and I know it won't last longer than a week. It's been going on for years!

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by mary51 16 Jul 2012

I do understand you so well! My husband had high blood pressure, i told him several times he needed to take his medications everyday, he did not only took them when his pressure was high, he died of a blood clot, i wonder if this had to do with not taking his medications the right way.

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

He is sick of pills, he takes about 16 a day on top of insulin. He's had 5 stents for blockages. Go figure, a man thing I think!

marjialexa by marjialexa 17 Jul 2012

Can't his doctor get through to him that if he controlled his diet he wouldn't have to take so many of the pills he's sick of?

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by janetedna 16 Jul 2012

Will try. Jan

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

Thanks.

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by anangel 16 Jul 2012

I understand your frustrations with him, Debra! I try constantly to help keep my hubby's sugar level under control. He has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, as well as, acute glaucoma. His vision is only holding on by a thread, says the doctor. He definitely does not need to be diagnosed diabetic, too. One health issue, affects another; a vicious circle! All you can do is take care of yourself, and encourage him to do better!
Hugs, Angel

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leenova54 by leenova54 16 Jul 2012

I do angel, I tell him I can't do it for him, he has to do it himself but our car should know the route to the hospital on it's own by now!

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