by sandyqueen 12 Jul 2012

7/12/2012 Sure do miss the CUTEEMBROIDERY that was warm, friendly caring and concerned with and for our members. I now feel a cold, unfriendly, unparticipating atmosphere in public and personal areas. If you feel as I do and don't want to get in trouble by having a post assigned to your name just give stars to this message. I miss the jokes, questions, advice and all we seem to have lost. I suppose this will be my third srike and you know what happens then, "You're out".


Sandy

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by tilde01 14 Jul 2012

I agree with you Sandy. I used to come and participate more. Now I come and see if there are any designs I want, and then leave. You post just happened to catch my eye tonight. I see a lot of post that under the new guideline of "if its not embroidery related, it doesn't belong on the public tab." Well the, why are we still seeing birthday wishes, prayers, etc on the public tab? Nothing is said about those being here.

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by mranderson 14 Jul 2012

Oh my goodness!!!!!!! Why are we back to this old subject. Enough has been said about this situation. Lets just wait and see what Miss Veronika has in store for us. Marg

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by sandyqueen 13 Jul 2012

I have taken time to think over the situation M****** has created with her posts. I am going to pray for her unceasingly. I believe in the positive power of prayer. She will become the focus of many prayers as I am asking the CUTE CARING COMMUNITY to join me in praying for M******.

Sandy

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by debswebster 13 Jul 2012

xxx

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by debswebster 13 Jul 2012

Sandy, I do agree with you in part, it does feel a little colder, sort of clinical per say. On the upside though, change is difficult at first but I am sure things will settle soon. Don't forget we are all still here for each other when we need help or a shoulder to lean on. Hugs, Debbie

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by tonilee 13 Jul 2012

sandy, i in many ways feel like you do, i loved the jokes, i have a friend who so much of the time is so sad, i would call her and at the end of of the conversation tell her one of the jokes i had read on cuties,it was always fun and tasteful, lighten up, if people don't want to read the jokes don't. but if we have to watch each thing we say, i think we have become to strict.

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by rescuer Moderator 13 Jul 2012

For those who read or must translate this post, I hope what I feel is understood.
I look forward to fair, gentle, and sensible guidance from the moderators. By definition to moderate means to be gentle as they are synonyms. I appreciate the moderators willingness to help Veronika. Because most of us act like rational adults -- most of the time, I believe this site will return to kindness very soon. I have felt the kindness of my Cute friends with the recent loss of my beloved dog. Many Cuties posted comments of sympathy, some included tears of empathy and so many posted with kindness and love.
However, I think I understand why you feel the way you do. Many of those who feel as you do are afraid to post -- not just in reply here, but anywhere on this site. Some are posting embroidery related questions in the Personal tab out of stated uncertainty as to where it is OK to post questions. They have fears of unreasonable attack because of a VERY small minority of people who attack others. Adding insult to injury, those who attack others do exactly as they tell others not to do.
I have been here more than four years, long enough to see many disputes that would quickly end as the posts were buried or removed. This time feels different. In the past those who attacked others were shunned and shut-down or ignored by the group. It appears different this time. Perhaps this is some of what you are feeling now.
I loved the light-hearted and open, caring feeling of the community. Some of that is lost when those who are vicious (and seem to be given their way) parade about like they own the site. They crowd the community pages with daily and often contrived posts. They post in the Public tab things unrelated to embroidery and not the embroidery questions they demand from others. Perhaps, if they followed their own very strict rules, the bickering could end.
Please remember that the Cutie with the most flowers does not win anything. The ones who genuinely give of themselves and sacrifice for others are those who “win” the admiration, awe, and respect of the community. To those who so often give…thank you! I respect you and I am in awe of your gifts.
We all need to remember that facetiousness and flippancy is not obvious in written words. We need to make sure others recognize what we mean in our comments. Sarcasm does not translate well into other languages or other cultures. However, if we state --clearly -- that we are teasing, joking, or being sarcastic it will help everyone.
We are a world family with growing pains. I am looking forward to the new site changes and I hope many of the issues will be resolved at that time. I also hope those new users who are vindictive and arrogant -- with their temporary “victory” and attempts to control others -- will soon recognize this site is not about bickering and war. It is all about unity, caring, sharing, and love.
Thank you for reading my very long post. Hugs and flowers for all!

2 comments
pldc by pldc 13 Jul 2012

I think that you said it all & very well too Hugs Loralye

caroldann by caroldann 13 Jul 2012

Amen to that. Thank you for taking some of our thoughts and writing them down. Hugs..Carol

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by dilceia 13 Jul 2012

I do not understand why you talk like that.
I love this site! Here I found wonderful FRIENDS!

6 comments
gerryvb by gerryvb 13 Jul 2012

love this site....and you too!

starlet2653 by starlet2653 13 Jul 2012

I feel the same as you. You are a very likeable person, Dilceia.

lflanders by lflanders 13 Jul 2012

I feel the same way dilceia! When I am tired and/or stressed, it is time for me to relax and come to Cute so I can relax and enjoy the great company and the wonderful talent that most share with everyone. This is my get-away from stress!

lrichardson by lrichardson 13 Jul 2012

Agreed! This is by far my favorite site.

dilceia by dilceia 13 Jul 2012

Thanks to Gerry, Linda, and Starlet, the beautiful words of love, addressed to me. Love you!
I think these "quirks", this squabble, has to end. Ignore them.
This is a place "Solidarity" and FRIENDS.
kisses.

jerrib by jerrib 13 Jul 2012

I agree with everything that Marji has said. I find things more enjoyable now, but do miss the jokes and fun stuff. I think those that posted them are waiting to see what the changes will be. I hope so, cause we all need a good laugh a few times a day, at least I know I do. Too many things in the world to get you feeling low.

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by gerryvb 13 Jul 2012

sorry you feel this way. For me the Cute site still is a LOVELY SITE TO BE AND TO LOOK AROUND, OR TAKE PART OF. And if there are posts you don't have interest in, just skip these. And you can mark the posts with a flower , so you can see you've already seen/read/answered or skipped that post.
I think everybody tries in his own way to be a part of this cute Cute site.And sometimes a post is in the wrong section, well it can happen. but it's a living site. and I'M HAPPY AND PROUD TO BE PART OF THE CUTE site ! And I'm grateful to miss Veronika who does so much for us.

1 comment
gerryvb by gerryvb 13 Jul 2012

love it here, and confess I even am addicted to cute.

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by mpo14011 13 Jul 2012

Marji is right. This was intended to be a helpful forum for embroidery and sewing related topics.
It became clogged up with freebie announcements and personal posts. Any one needing help had a dickens of a job finding the comments that were posted to help them.
Veronika was kind enough to give us 3 extra tabs, Freebies, Personal and Private.
People have learned, apart from the odd blunder, to put freebie announcement into the Freebie section.
If those who wanted to share jokes with us, many of whom most of us have heard a trillion times before, and ask questions of the day totally unrelated to sewing and embroidery, had put these into the Personal section, then none of this would have come up.
There is nothing stopping anyone from doing this and nothing stopping you from going to that section to read them.
So,I suggest you drop the subject,learn to live with it and get a life.
And if you have a problem with either the Aussie lingo or the Aussie sense of humour, then, either ignore it or ask to please explain.

2 comments
dilceia by dilceia 13 Jul 2012

I agree!

sewist1 by sewist1 14 Jul 2012

I don't consider that Aussie humour. I would hate to think the rest of the world thinks that is what we are all like. Aussies are tolerant and don't try to bully people into submission.

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by meganne 13 Jul 2012

Considering that the moderators haven't done any moderating yet I do feel that you are only blowing smoke to cause a fire where there isn't one.

From my own personal point of view, if I don't like where I am, I don't try to drum up support from other members for how I feel, I just leave and find another place, more to my liking, to spend my time.

And just for the record, it won't be three strikes, everyone who really knows anything about this site's owner, knows that there are no warnings given to trouble makers, she outs them INSTANTLY.

But I do like to have my little bit of fun with people who don't know me. hahahahahahaha!!!!!

2 comments
dilceia by dilceia 13 Jul 2012

His sense of humor, fascinates me my friend! Increasingly, I admire you!

moyed by moyed 14 Jul 2012

Strength and wisdom and a sense of humour,from one so young.
The changes will be well worth waiting for.
hugs Helen

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by lidiad 13 Jul 2012

I think that it has returned to be warm, friendly and concerned as it was before, and it's a nice feeling!
Hugs, Lidia

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by lflanders 12 Jul 2012

I am sorry you feel that way! I can assure you that is not what anyone wants. This group has had some problems over the yrs and they all soon work their way through whatever is going on. Anytime you put alot of people together from all over the world and encourage them to join in, you are going to get alot of different reactions! Hang in there and just wait and watch. We do need some guidelines that all of us should try to stay inside of but each of us have different personalities and we can not control how others feel things should be. With some guidelines, maybe that will help everyone. If you feel like being crazy or even silly sometimes, go with the flow! This is a play to play and have fun and not everything is serious.
I have been here a long time and I think things will get better with Veronika having a team behind her to help with the enormous amount of work that does go on here. Some of the members are way more serious than alot of the others but every one here has alot of talent OR they are learning just like all of us had to do over the yrs. Not all of us have to like everything that goes on as long as we just adapt to a happy medium and treat everyone with respect. I have never been very active with everyone because I do not have alot to share. I am handicapped and spend alot of time trying to get better soooo I do not do very much embroidery compared to when I owned my own craft store. My age and being crippled slowed me down and I am still trying to adapt. I have worked non-stop all of my adult life. I managed a restaurant and catering business for 26 yrs and had my crafts in another's shop. When she sold out, I bought out much her display shelves and opened my own store thus, I had 2 full-time jobs for as long as I could hold out. Things never stay the same!! I have alot of confidence in Veronika and the 4 members that she has asked to help her with this site. Remember, Veronika owns several sites that she does all of the designs for. I really think all will smooth out and everything will run very smoothly as soon as the ressurection of the new ideas all fall into some order. Hang in there and continue to enjoy the site. I have seen where alot of members seem concerned but things will get back to a normal routine. I have seen alot come and go and maybe it was not what they were looking for. To each his own(ideas). If you were happy before, it will return. Some people just do not know how to accept changes as gracefully as others. We are all different in alot of ways but we do all have a love(some obbession) to collecting new designs and learning all about each other's specialities in the sewing dept. I learn something new everyday! I have met(online) a wonderful group of people that I would not know a thing about if I had not stayed and joined in. Things will get better! Hugs, Linda

2 comments
anangel by anangel 13 Jul 2012

Great answer, Linda! Things do get better, eventually, and life is all about "choices", some good, some bad! When we find we've made a bad one, it is time to try for a good one! Think positive! That attitude helps in making decisions for the best! Angel

dilceia by dilceia 13 Jul 2012

Wise words Linda!

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by marjialexa Moderator 12 Jul 2012

Sandy, I'm sorry you feel in danger of somehow being banned from the site for saying you miss something. To the best of my knowledge that kind of persecution is certainly not going to happen here, to you or to anyone. Moderators are not here to "slap you into line" about what you feel. We are here to keep posts from getting rude, to keep people from attacking one another, and keep general order on the site.

Perhaps if you would be willing to take an objective look at the posts, you'll find that there is much more advice being given and more people asking embroidery and sewing questions than there has been in a long time, and getting some really good answers from many more participants. That's what this Q&A was originally set up to be by the site owner, a place where embroiderers could help each other, where people could share their experience in embroidry & sewing with those who have less, or who are having trouble with their machines, or looking for a specific design, things like that. The willing help and sharing of information seem anything but cold to me, but demonstrates caring & consideration, because so many people take the time to reply, and reply kindly. It's been quite a positive change. I'd just ask you to read thru the past week's posts with an open mind, remembering that this was set up as a help forum, not a chat room.

For things of a more personal or lighthearted nature, there are still many people posting prayer requests and pictures of grandkids in Personal, and from what I've read, getting lots of prayer support, emotional support, and enjoyment of the sharing of family pics, etc. The Personal tab is an ideal place for sharing things not related to embroidery or sewing or craft, and I believe if you will give it an honest look, you'll find more people going there and more answers being given than in quite a while.

So, to answer your question, I believe the questions and advice have actually gained, not lost, and the atmosphere is actually more participating, not less, and going in the direction it was originally intended. I'm sorry if you miss the jokes, but there's no reason a group that wants to participate in that couldn't be set up in the Private Messages. Those who want to receive and answer could be on each other's lists there, without any problem at all.

I sincerely hope you will not feel 'chastised' or 'persecuted' by my answer, because that is certainly not my intent. I understand that change can be difficult, and the forum may feel different to you, and you may miss some things, and you're perfectly ok if you have those feelings. I would just urge you to continue to participate, and see what is actually taking place, instead of seemingly coming from a place where you feel you'll be persecuted, or anyone agreeing with you will be chastised and persecuted. That will not be the case. But neither will pure nastiness, finger-poining, personal attacks be tolerated on this site. You are a valuable member of this commuity, your experience and questions are just as valid as anyone else's, and you will be honored as such. I hope you can come to realize the value of steering the forum back in the way it was intended to go by the site owner from the founding of the site.

With respect, gratitude and hugs, Marji

9 comments
lflanders by lflanders 12 Jul 2012

Way to go, Marji! I do have a good feeling about some order here! Hopefully Veronika will have an easier load and a more successful site also. Hugs and good luck! Linda

sarahrose by sarahrose 12 Jul 2012

Very nice response Marji.

nannynorfolk by nannynorfolk 13 Jul 2012

Well said Marji :)

bumblebee by bumblebee 13 Jul 2012

Marji
You have my respect. This is a fair and balanced answer. Thank You for being a moderator.

gerryvb by gerryvb 13 Jul 2012

Amen to that!with hugs, Gerry

dilceia by dilceia 13 Jul 2012

Amen!

starlet2653 by starlet2653 13 Jul 2012

I'm sorry you feel that way and appriciate your courage in expressing it,but personally, feel that this site is the friendliest, most supportive and most generous of all the sites I belong with.I'm greatful for every answer, advice, support and free desig I'm given here. If anything, I feel bad for not giving as much as many others in return for what I receive, since I don't digitize and don't have enough time to spend here.I don't even know Veronika but I think she did a great job in building all 3 sites.
G-d bless, starlet

jrob by jrob 13 Jul 2012

Marji, I can't even think of anything to add to this. Nicely stated.;)

crafter2243 by crafter2243 14 Jul 2012

Marji as always you have the power of words to make sense of it all. I am so glad to see you back.

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by susiesembroidery 12 Jul 2012

I still feel warmth and love at our cutie site. Once a Cutie - always a Cutie. I just love being on this site, the friendship and caring does come through all the way. Sorry that you don't feel the same. I hope you will rethink and decide to just take everyday as it comes - maybe you will feel our caring and love again. We do care about you - as we care about all our friends here. Lovies>****

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by terriweistra 12 Jul 2012

Hi Sandy I am sure you won't be "out" for being honest (I hope not.) I think there are many Cuties that feel the same way as you do (me included) :) I don't think it is cold and unfriendly, more careful and wary!!!! I think lots of us are nervous of stating our opinions at the moment :)

1 comment
barbara68 by barbara68 13 Jul 2012

THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME.

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by april22 12 Jul 2012

Wat jij schrijft voel ik niet, en lees ik niet, en merk ik niet, komt niet bekend op mij over.
Begrijp hier niets van.

1 comment
gerryvb by gerryvb 13 Jul 2012

translation: Things you write: I don't feel, I don't read and don't notice, doesn't sound familiar to me.Don't understand this at all.

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