by 1sewnsew 20 Jun 2012

AUSTRALIAN BRICKLAYER'S REPORT


Possibly the funniest story in a long while. This is a bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the Australian equivalent of the Workers' Compensation board.

This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure.......

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor,

I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kevin Roben
Wagga Glass & Aluminium Pty Ltd

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by michemb 21 Jun 2012

funnyyyyyy lol

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by mumzyfarm 21 Jun 2012

Great laugh hope the poor fellow is ok

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by oigelcox 21 Jun 2012

Good one . I know some tradies like him. Hugs Joyce

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by spendlove Moderator 21 Jun 2012

WHY PADDY'S NOT AT WORK TODAY (The sick note)
(Pat Cooksey)

Dear Sir I write this note to inform you of my plight
And at the time of writing I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
I write this note to tell why Paddy's not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off the top seemed quite a good idea
But the gaffer wasn't very pleased, he was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladder in me hod.

Well clearing all those bricks by hand, it seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.

So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I took off like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That half way up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Well the barrel broke my shoulder as on to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load fourteen floors below

Now when those building bricks fell from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel so I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope as I flew to the ground
And I landed on those building bricks that were scattered all
around.

Now as I lay there on the deck I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top, that's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me, I knew I had no hope
In all of this confusion, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel being heavier, it started down once more
And landed right on top of me as I lay on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.

3 comments
oigelcox by oigelcox 21 Jun 2012

Love it Love it. Hugs Joyce

nonna57 by nonna57 21 Jun 2012

Thanks Sue , Thats the vrsion we have on the antique cassette :)

spendlove by spendlove 21 Jun 2012

Its a good song!

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by dollygk 21 Jun 2012

Much too funny to be true!! but a GOOD one, thanks.

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by blueeyedblonde 21 Jun 2012

lol

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by nonna57 21 Jun 2012

Not sure if its a true story cause we have this on "cassette" as a song of such and it is called Murphy's Bricks. Now i am going back here 25/30yrs. Mabey it has just come to light :)) Good laugh all the same :)

1 comment
1sewnsew by 1sewnsew 21 Jun 2012

I have used this one for years, too. Thanks

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by graciegirl 21 Jun 2012

very funny

1 comment
1sewnsew by 1sewnsew 21 Jun 2012

thanks and welcome to the group

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by moyed 21 Jun 2012

My brother is a brickie & I think I will send this to him. What a hoot, sure sounds like him.
A pile of bricks fell and badly grazed his shin. He carried on although it was bleeding and he was in pain. Waited till he got home and cleaned it up. Ended up in hosptial a few days later with Septicaemia.
hugs Helen

1 comment
1sewnsew by 1sewnsew 21 Jun 2012

I hope he enjoys it. I am sorry to hear of his trouble. Is he better now?

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