by sewfrenzie 12 Sep 2011

Your laugh for today!

It could happen to any of us... This is so funny; I hope you enjoy it.

$5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 56, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.!

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention.. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

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by bumblebee 13 Sep 2011

Oh My goodness, I even read this to my husband and we both laughed so hard that we had tears in our eyes, thanks and now I know your a dude!

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by honeychyle 13 Sep 2011

FUNNY!!! VERY FUNNY!

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by marjialexa Moderator 13 Sep 2011

Oh, too funny!! Reminds me of the time I came out of the store and got into my Ford Pinto (does that tell you how old I am, hee hee hee) and thought, hey! Somebody took all my stuff!! Where's my other bags, and my coffee cup, and my briefcase!!! And, um, er, when did I get plaid seats? Shoot, I had gotten into someone else's car. Luckily nobody saw me, because I was laughing so hard the men in the white coats probably would have carted me away in a strait jacket, hee hee hee. And the older I get, the worse it gets!! Makes life interesting, though. Thanks for the great laugh!! Hugs, Marji

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by blueeyedblonde 13 Sep 2011

So funny!!!! Thanks for the laugh!

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by bop2mystic 13 Sep 2011

This is the best laugh I've had all week!!!! LOL LOL LOL LOL .... I can't stop....LOL LOL LOL ..... I need to breath ... tears ....lol I go to Taco Bell too frequently and I think they have installed an Elmo at every one! Thank you for sharing a great story. Sorry about the ticket though.

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by almag 13 Sep 2011

Phewwww!!!! That's a relief!!!!!

Someone else is living with the Marx Brothers all rolled into one DH ......

....... and here I was, thinking that it was my lot in life to be the one and only, long-suffering little woman at home, trying to make sense of my very own Mr Comedy.

AlmaG.

1 comment
sewfrenzie by sewfrenzie 13 Sep 2011

Although this was an e-mail I recieved I live with a Mr. Comedy too, lol! Sure makes life interesting.

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by debleerl 12 Sep 2011

I read this out loud to my hubby laughing all the way through. He said "Yeaa, what's so funny:)" I guess it hits a little to close to home.

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by lulu07 12 Sep 2011

This was hilarious..thanks for sharing.

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by nanabs 12 Sep 2011

Can't quit laughing. LOL I have a silver van and I have on a few occasions tried to get into another one like mine. One time I got in the seat before I knew it wasn't mine. Of course I exited in a hurry looking to see if anyone saw me. Of course that wasn't as bad as the time I went into a Walmart out of town and went into the Mens and used it. Didn't notice the urinal until I came out. Talk about being embarassed. I left the store without shopping. LOL Both true stories.
I did believe you in the begining cause i am a senior and I've done stuff like that. *4U

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by dee 12 Sep 2011

Thanks for the good laugh.

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by jacquipaul 12 Sep 2011

Cute, cute, cute!

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by beatie58 12 Sep 2011

How funny!!!!!! made my day!!!

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by gramsbear 12 Sep 2011

Thanx!!! A typical day in the life of and "Old Foogie" Hahaha!

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by fannyfurkin 12 Sep 2011

Too funny. I am only 46 and I could see that happening to me.

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by mranderson 12 Sep 2011

LOL

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by noah 12 Sep 2011

lol i recieved this as an email to :):) carolyn

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by bokkieborduur 12 Sep 2011

It can happened to anyone, not just the oldies. Love Marie

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by susiesembroidery 12 Sep 2011

What a laugh I have had!!! Made me feel much younger than my years. I just love your story.

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by corinney 12 Sep 2011

hahahahahahahahahhahahha! Wow - I am still laughing!! Have a great day and thanks for sharing! :0)

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by rachap 12 Sep 2011

Do you know how good this makes the rest of us feel??!!

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by cj2sew 12 Sep 2011

This is choice. Thank you for this deep belly laugh...

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by shilly 12 Sep 2011

Thanks for sharing; laughter is priceless as are life's unexpected moments....Have a great day!

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by rmj8939 12 Sep 2011

Just too funny.

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by ansalu 12 Sep 2011

So funny still have tears from laughing in my eyes :o)
Thank you for that story...
Bettina

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by workbecky 12 Sep 2011

This is so funny. I had a young man do this to me in Taco Bell too only he said "I know you are not old enough but I gave it to you anyway". I was NOT pleased to look like I needed a Sr. Discount. :)

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by emily16838 12 Sep 2011

tHANKS FOR THE MORNING GIGGLE

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by nama2 12 Sep 2011

Wow, you made my day-hilarious! Still laughing, as I hope you can do at yourself! (maybe after paying for the ticket!!!!)

2 comments
sewfrenzie by sewfrenzie 12 Sep 2011

BTW that wasn't me, it was something I got in my e-mail and decided to share, lol!

ansalu by ansalu 12 Sep 2011

That was my first thought too *lol*
But when I reed "My wife met me halfway..." I understand that this was nothing that has happened to you ;o)
Greetings, Bettina

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by tilde01 12 Sep 2011

God that is so funny. I'm older than him and don't think I've ever done anything like that. Thanks for the laugh of the day.

1 comment
cindyj by cindyj 12 Sep 2011

I am 58 and laughing so hard that I wish I had some Depends.

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