by kathyjt 24 Aug 2011

It could happen to any of us....

This is so funny- I hope you enjoy it.

$5.37! That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Elmo hairdo said the hardest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupified. I am 55, not even 60 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Elmo. Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?" I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rear view mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Elmo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?"

All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here"? At this point I was ready to ask a Boy
Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits..

Elmo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast..

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blankey.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth....... It's the only planet with chocolate!!!!!


by sdrise 03 Sep 2011

Too funny ! You made our day. Hubby and I were rolling on the floor this morning during breakfast. Thanks for the laugh! Suzanne

1 comment
kathyjt by kathyjt 04 Sep 2011

glad you enjoyed it.

by leenova54 27 Aug 2011

OMG, it could happen to any of us!

getEdited - SELECT
by snowbird42 27 Aug 2011

the tears are still rolling down my cheeks...i must admit i do not take any notice where i parked my car in the parking lot so i start at the begining and work my way row by row and sure as it is day i run into someone i know and it is quite obvious what i am doing ,,,,,,,,,,,,sad isn't it...i am still laughing........soozie

by airyfairy 27 Aug 2011

Thank you for this. I still get "shocked" when asked if I want a pensioner discount.....and I am in my latter 60's. LOL.

by sewmom 25 Aug 2011

That was good for a laugh. Thank you.

by shirlener88 25 Aug 2011


by justonlyme 24 Aug 2011

Thank you for the "REMINDER". That sounds like something that came in my email this morning:

We Must Stop This Immediately!

Have you noticed that stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!
And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am a lip reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged so much that she didn't even recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLY NOW - even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto the motorway in front of them. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices? The people who make bathroom scales are pulling the same prank. Do they think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority to report what's going on -- but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such small type that no one could ever find a number in there!

All I can do is pass along this warning:

Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

PS: I am posting this in a larger font size, because something has happened to my computer's fonts - they are smaller than they once were. !!!!

1 comment
kathyjt by kathyjt 25 Aug 2011

So funny, thanks for sharing.

by crafter2243 Moderator 24 Aug 2011

Very funny. I spend almost an hour looking for my car in the shopping center one day till I finally remebered I had taken my husbands.

1 comment
kathyjt by kathyjt 25 Aug 2011

That sounds like something I would do.

by stitchship 24 Aug 2011

Still chuckling! Thanks for the laugh!

by devon 24 Aug 2011

This was soooooooooo cute thanks for the laugh.

by mary51 24 Aug 2011

thank you, it is very funny.

by sadp 24 Aug 2011

I think we all have to admit to that some time, if not now it will definitely be later. I do like the chocolate though. Hugs S*