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Mary I am so sorry for your loss. I am glad you are there for your sisters family to lean on but you also need to lean so lean on us. As jrob says pour your heart out in the personals we will listen & most important go to the Great Comforter, He alone knows how your heart aches and will give you peace you seek./Lillian
145789Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss. It will take time. But glad to see you back. That is one step forward. Try to come online as much as possible, will keep you busy.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Hugs Yvonne
132773You know Mary, it is OK to grieve. Things will get better. Just remember the good times you had with your sister. Thoughts and hugs coming your way. Sarah.
253107Mary, I'm sorry for your loss. Just sit yourself down and get over in the personal section and type away. Dump everything you feel, don't feel, wish you felt and are trying to feel. We will listen and laugh, cry and pray for you.There is no set time limit to grief. You obviously are getting a little better, cause you are back here with us. Sending you cyber hugs and kleenix.;)
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
Love that but where is the personel section because I feel like I really need to let it out.
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
found it. I think I will do that. Right now my hubby is home so I will wait until tomorrow to just right. Sometimes I feel like I should write a short story. Does that sound crazy or what?
by ansalu
08 Jul 2011
That sounds like you are on a good way :o)
Maybe you would like to write little stories about things that you experienced with your sister. I'm sure your grandchildren are happy one day when they can read what their granny and her sister did when they were younger.
Greetings and big hugs for you
Bettina
158553I hope I'm not out of line here, but can I suggest that you look in to a grief and loss support group at your local hospital? You can talk to people who are sharing your types of burdens, and you will find ways of getting through that you never thought possible. And you can talk about all of the stuff bottled up inside that you don't want to bring your own family down with. In the end, it will help. I totally understand your feelings. I've lost 25 very near and dear family members since January 29, 2005. That is almost everyone in my family tree. If you don't get help, then it might bring you down to a point where you are unable to care for others. The loss of your sister will never go away, but with a little bit of intervention, those last painful memories will fade some, and when you think of her, you will be able to share good times and smile at the thought. Hang in there and treat yourself well. It will get better. Everyone heals at a different rate, so I cannot say when, but it will.
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
You are diff. not out of line. Since I was her care giver Hospice offered that I could get grief cons. for up to 13 months. It is just diffucult for me to ask for help or to say I am depressed, it is not in my nature. I have always been the strong one in the family so it really is diff. to ask for help. The memories I have about my sister are really good ones except for when she got sick and I say her wither away to nothing. But I just feel I need to talk to someone which is very much an option. thank you so much but I know I will heal w/Gods help and family supp. God bless.
16260I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Each day does get easier, but we never quit missing them. I lost my mother Oct. 1, an uncle Nov. 5 and my first husband Nov. 26 back in 1988 - wow! - to actually put the year in print - it just doesn't seem that long, but I still miss them.
I found that to be able to talk about them (even to those that really didn't want to listen) helped and it got easier to talk about them. It was really hard to talk about them to start with because you just can't seem to get the words out without tears and choking up. But keep trying.
You will find that keeping yourself busy makes a big difference. Your sister would not like it that you were not continuing on the way she would think you would.
Being strong for your family members is great, but you need your release too. I'm sure none of the cuties mind in the least and like it that you can get some relief by talking to them. You hubby is probably watching and waiting for you to talk to him so he can help you through this.
Grandchildren are absolutely wonderful! They do have a way to cheer us up no matter what. They just seem to know we need cheering up, or those little arms going around our neck.
Come back here SOON and talk to us.
We're all thinking of you.
Linda
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
My husband and grandkids have been great. I don't talk about my sister to them but my grandson that is 7 loves to hug and tell me he loves me wheather I am happy or sad so that really cheers me up. I really thank all of you from the top/bottom of my heart for all you listening to me, God bless all of you.
38558Hi Mary, I'm sor sorry for your loss. Tt's a very difficult situation to endure. I lost my mom 2 years ago and I still have moments when I struggle. Getting back on Cute is the right track to getting on with your life. As hard as it is you have to do your best to get your self up. It sounds like your family really needs you. You have to help yourself before you can help others. Stay strong and you know you have your cute familly. We are all a great source of support. Let us know how your progressing...embrace each day as a gift. Your sister was very lucky to have you. God Bless you. :-)
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
I am really thankful for all the CUTIES, because I am able to express myself. They have given me so many prayers and my family was so supportive of me being away from them for soooo long. I missed my family so much but I feel that I am not totally there for them. I have not been there for me so I know that I have not been totally there for them. My grandchildren have been great. We have looked at property that is one story just in case we need to take in his parents even if we have to gut the house, we have done it before but that makes me forget everything and concentrate on the task in hand. It's an expensive task but we are good at it, and it makes me forget about everything. CRAZY right? Well that is my escape. I can't talk to my family about my sister it is really painful, yet I can open up to all you CUTIES. Maybe I should contact Hospice and see a counselor. They told me I had 13 months to see someone if I need to, since I was her caregiver. Anyway thank you for the prayers and thoughts.
5256Welcome back, so sorry for your loss my thoughts are with you at this sad time. Time does heal! Hugs Sally
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
Time does heal, I just want it now....I'm afraid that my lack of interest in everything will affect others. The only thing I care about is my husband and grandchildren. They are my reason for living. I just don't want to lose my granddaughter because of a divorce in hand. It weighs heavy in my heart. So the loss of my sister and the pending divorce of my son and daughter in law sometimes it seems like too much. Not to mention other deaths in my family recently. I just want to shut down. I know I have my grandkids to live for which they are very important in my life, but I feel like I want to scream sometimes. Got to stop or I will scream. Thank you for your hugs,
24342Hi Mary and welcome back. Sorry to hear about your sister, take care and remember the fun times you had with her.
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
Thank you so much. I do remember the fun times and we talked about those things before she passed and how I always saw her as my mom. He had some good talks. Thank you so much.
114312It is hard to get started again when you are so down hearted. You need to start somewhere and try to have a goal. Why don't you make a list of things you want to do and try to do something from the list each day or week.
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
Getting started is what is difficult. I just don't have the energy. I just want to sleep and that is not me. I was always going and going and I find I get up sit on the couch, clean house, and sit on the couch, then go to bed. My husband cooks dinner so really all I do is get groceries if I need to other than that I don't go anywhere. It is terrible and I realize it. I need to get to the dr. but I don't even want to do that. I only leave the house if I absul. have to. What is weird is that I am really good in listening to my nephews and nieces because they miss their mom but I put myself in the back burner. I would love to talk to my nephews and nieces about my sister but it makes them depress and I don;t want to do that, and I don't want to talk about it to my husband so I keep it in and to myself. Thanks for listening. God bless- Love Mary
89895Dear Mary, I'm glad you are back and you posted here. I was wondering another day, about you and your sister. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I could do something to ease the pain, just know that I'm here, you have my email address, if you need to talk to someone. I will be thinking of you and you and your family are in my prayers. Love and hugs, Yoriko
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
Hi Yoriko, thank you so much. How have you been, how is your son? How are you doing. I know you have had your own problems. I pray all is well with you and your son. I have not made any raggedy ann dolls in so long. I haven't done any embrod. in a long time. Well I did do some items for my sister before she passed. She wanted a couple of blankets for her dogs and dish towels but that was back in Sept. or so. She lovedf to dog blankets. I have missed all of you. Thank you so much for all you have done for me. Your work is so beautiful. I am going to try and get back into my dolls because they each have a character of their own. Again thank you for your prayers and I am always thinking of you too. Love Mary
88650Mary dear, it does take time - of coarse you are drained - you have been giving and giving and giving - just grieve when you need to - but you still have to do things for you - get back into whatever you can - when you can - your sister would not want you to let your life go and to be sad all the time - you are strong - you have shown that already - so pick yourself up and do what you can - for you. And it is ok - to show that you are having trouble with your loss, too. Nothing happens in a day - but if you do something new for you - you might be surprised how you will get back into doing more and more each day - and getting on with your life. We love you and will continue to pray for you. Lots of love, Shirlene
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
thank you so much. Writing to you all feels good, I can cry and it feels good. I am so tired of being strong for everyone. I have always been like that strong for everyone. So when I come here I can let go and it feels good. I have pain from the loss but it feels good to let it out, and not burden my family. I was gone from them for so long. I missed birthdays and my anniversary. My husband was great throughout this whole thing. He said he knows that if anything happened to him I would be there for him. He sure appreciates that I did what I did for my sister. His mom and stepdad are up in years and I've told him that we could take them in and take care of them if we needed to. We have even been looking for a one story house just in case. Thank you for all the prayers that were sent my way.
211078Hi maryclampitt. I lost my twin sister on 2 Feb this year, and it is really hard. We are 65 years of age so a lifetime together. Pat also fought to the end for me although she was in so much pain. She died peacefully in hospital with all the family there. I have kept her eulogy right beside me on a stand, and every morning I kiss it and say good morning, it has helped, but like yourself I miss her terribly, just to be able to talk,we used to talk for hours on the phone. I said at the time I would have a nervous breakdown unless I got myself mobilized, so I find by embroidering and quilting I for a short time forget the pain. Please try this, it might work. My thoughts are with you. Cheers Shirley xxx
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
I am so sorry for your loss. I sometime feel so all alone. I talk to my brother in law often but it is to give him moral support. I also speak to a couple of his kids but it is to make them feel good. Once I hang up I just try to go on with my life because I have my family to think about so I don't or at least try not to think about her death. But I really do. I just don't talk about it or how I feel to my family because we have had other deaths in the family since. I just shut down and withdraw. Sorry 4 dumping. I am going to try and get back into embrod. but I just haven't had the energy nor the want to do anything. Thank you so much for your concern. It sure is easier talking to someone other than family.
1412Hi Mary,
My heart aches for you and I know what you are going through. With time the pain lessens and you always have wonderful memories that live on in your heart. When you are feeling low go with the flow, it's alright to mourn and each person takes their own time to grieve. I still miss my Father so much and also my best friend, who I just can't get over how young she was to have died. Every day it gets a little easier and I know God has you under the shadow of His wing.
All my love and compassion love and blessings Chris
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
You can't imagine how appreciative I am of Hospice. They were there to pick up the slack for me. I appreciate other care givers. My brother in law was so lost. He would not give her meds. He wanted me to be in charge of her. Not that he didn't want to he was afraid of o.ding her. Hospice was great. I could not have gone on as long as I did with out them. God bless them.
234253Sorry that you have to go through all of this. I am happy that you are back with us. Each one of us help in different ways. We have missed you and if you need to talk, cry or LOL. We are here. DeVon
by maryclampitt
07 Jul 2011
Thank you so much, It feels good to be back. I just feel that I can talk to any and all of you and get so much support. I get support from my family but I hold back because I don't want to bring them down. It is different with the CUTIES they don't know me but I feel that they really care. My family cares but it is different, they are family and of course they will care. All of you have gone through and experienced the loss of a loved one. For example my husband has only lost his dad but he was not close to him at all so when my family has a loss it effects him a great deal so I try and down play it. Anyway thank you all for listening.
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