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by pennifold ( edited 12d ago ) 13d ago

Good morning dear friends it's 5.45am Wednesday morning. I've had a bad night - got to sleep about midnight!


I wanted to write and let everyone know that Mum had a dreadful fall yesterday about 10.45am. We had the ACAT (Aged Care Assessment Team) assessor with Mum and I from 9.00 till 10.30. Mum didn't get any questions right, like where she lived, what her address was, what country she lived in, asked to spell a word, there were about 30 questions and Mum didn't get any right. The assessor asked her had she had any falls, and of course she said no, as she hadn't.

After Louise left, we went into the garden to pick some roses, she tripped on a rock border of her garden, fell through the barrier fence and landed 1.4 metres flat on her face over the retaining wall. I keep seeing it in my mind every waking moment, it's like a loop that doesn't end. I yelled out to her as she fell, as I was right behind her and tried to catch her, but old people just fall and don't try to put their hands out.

I ran round the end of the retaining wall and told her not to move. She had split the top of her nose, scraped her forehead and of course was bleeding, it was quite warm and the flies were going for the blood. I screamed out for help and thankfully Mark Mum's neighbour heard me and came rushing in to help me. I kept telling Mum not to move and went to ring the Ambulance and Leanne's Mark's wife came and took the phone from me and took over. I went inside to get some tissues and then I got my phone back and rang all my family. Of course being a Tuesday morning all were at work. Thankfully Ben was over at Toronto on the other side of our Lake Macquarie and he said he'd be there in 20 mins. Mum was lying there moaning and I was trying to keep her calm and she kept wanting to move but we told her not to and kept her in the recovery position. The Ambulance came, after me ringing again - they took 20 minutes to get to us!!!
Their were 2 girl Paramedics and then a big man in a second ambulance, they had already rung the fire department as they needed more help to get Mum onto a board and carry her through the house. They placed a neckbrace on her. So we had 6 people to get her into the ambulance. Her vitals were great and I am absolutely amazed that there weren't any broken bones.
When we got to the hospital, I followed the Ambulance and Ben came too. We had to wait nearly an hour for her to come out of Triage. So they finally let us in and then they took her for scans etc. When she came back they moved her to the Emergency Department she still had a neck brace on of course some tubes delivering fluids etc. She had been put into one of those hospital gowns and was very distressed, couldn't breathe as she was laying flat on her back.
We saw doctors, nurses and physios etc. A lovely young intern asked us to wait in a waiting room and she explained that Mum has fractured her C1 (base of the neck) and it was unstable. They have to keep her in the brace for up to 6 weeks. Of course if she moves any great degree she could become paralysed. Hence their concern. Trying to get a person who has Dementia not to move, is going to be a miracle. Ben was cuddling me when they told me what might likely happen and it has now been taken out of our hands to get her into a nursing home, aged care facility etc. I'm so thankful for that as I've been trying for months to do this.
I'll be going in this morning as she will have been moved to the Trauma Ward. Ben and Mia have taken the day of too and got me a Weekly pass for the carpark at the John Hunter Hospital. My poor sister who lives in South Australia, can't really come up till we know what the next steps will be. I don't know for example how long she will actually be in hospital. Another thing to worry about is that because of the position they have Mum in can cause infections in the chest. I've told them that we (Julie and I) have a DNR on Mum's End of Life plan. So they are going to keep her comfortable, fed and will look after her to the best of their ability. She will not be coming back home, and she absolutely loves her home. Mind you she can't do anything anyway as I've been doing everything to keep it looking nice.
Sorry for the rant, but I just wanted to let you know why I've not been on here much. Please pray for me for peace of mind and not to feel guilty for the things that are facing me. I love you all and I pray that if Mum does recover from this fracture that she won't be so objectionable to moving into full time care. I know I just can't do it anymore. Love Chris

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by airyfairy 4d ago

Thinking of you, your sister and your family. It is so hard when a parent gets aged. It can be anything they are suffering from - it is hard.
Take care and look after those family members. Your mum is in good hands. Love Sarah.

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by kustomkuddle 6d ago

Chris, I am so sorry for what you and your family is going though. We just lost MIL to this dreadful disease. I would suggest you have her evaluated by hospice. I know there is specific criteria that must be met and not sure if you mom is at that point. My MIL was on it for better part of 10 months as she would do better and then decline several times. Hospice was wonderful in not only providing care for MIL, but helping our family deal with the situation. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending hugs.

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by mad14kt 7d ago

Praying!!!! Praying!!!! Praying!!! <3 <3 <3 <3

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by lidiad 8d ago

Dear Chris, I'm sorry about your Mum and wish her the best. I'm praying for her, for you and all your family.
Love, Lidia

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pennifold by pennifold 8d ago

Hi Lidia, thanks so much for your reply as well. Every prayer is cherished. Love Chris

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by hightechgrammy 8d ago

Oh Chris, I am so, so sorry this happened to your sweet mum. It was such a bad, life changing fall. I had cervical spine surgery where if I didn't I would have also been paralyzed. I'm sorry to tell you it was a long, difficult and painful surgery for recovery about 5-6 months and still I have very little mobility in my neck. They go inn from the front and for me added lots of metal and plates and screws. I don't know if I'd recommend this for someone who couldn't understand. I am so, so sorry. Much love and hugs to you and your family. Jan

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hightechgrammy by hightechgrammy 8d ago

I can tell you the neck brace they have her in is one of the more comfortable ones.

hightechgrammy by hightechgrammy 8d ago

Chris, I want you to know we will pray for her from around the world, that she be comfortable, have no worries and that God watch over her and take her home in His time. You cannot allow yourself to regret anything. Even the fall was at the right time. We just don't know God's plan, and it's probably good we don't. Much love, and prayers too for you and your family that you stay strong and take care of yourself.

pennifold by pennifold 8d ago

Thank you dear Jan, it's been a hectic week. They are not doing surgery on her as her neck as she has Osteopenia and she also has Osteoarthritis. At her age, it isn't advisable. She has to wear that brace for 6 weeks. Hopefully within the next couple of days we will be moving her to a rehabilitation area. She still insists she doesn't want to go to a Nursing home, but she cannot live on her own anymore. It would cost her too much to have a private nurse 24/7. Thanks for your prayers, everyone of them is helping. I just wish she wouldn't be so stubborn, she would at least have company even if she can't communicate properly. Love Chris

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by jrob Moderator 9d ago

Chris my heart is breaking for you. Only someone who has been through this knows the anxiety and guilt you are feeling. I'm sorry.

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pennifold by pennifold 9d ago

Hi Jerrilyn, thanks for your kind words too. I know that many of us on here have gone through this, so it's great to be able to come on here and vent my frustration. I think the Nurses are God's Angels and I cannot fault any of them. They are so wonderful with Mum and I pray that when she goes into the Nursing home that this will continue, plus she will have company, or at least some others to have a chat with. Love Chris

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by oaro 10d ago

HI Chris So sorry to hear what has happened to you mam i feel for you
prays for you and you mam take care you self Maria

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pennifold by pennifold 9d ago

Hi Maria, yes, it's so sad to watch Mum going through this. I'm trying to do the best to look after myself too. I've got great family surrounding me and my Church family and all of you guys to keep me uplifted. Love Chris

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by basketkase 11d ago

How tragic for you and family, Chris.....will pray for your mum🙏🙏🙏

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pennifold by pennifold 11d ago

Hi Vicki, yes, it's been a roller coaster of feelings, thoughts and exhaustion! Thanks so much for your prayers. Love Chris

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by mariagiannina 12d ago

So sorry to hear what has happened to mum. I often think about her, and wonder how she is doing, and now this. God will keep her safe and comfortable, she (and you) are lucky to have family around for support. Do not feel guilty, you have done so much to keep her at home, and well looked after.
Thinking of you both and family.

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pennifold by pennifold 11d ago

Thanks Mary, it's certainly been a struggle and I know God has her in his arms. The nursing staff are fantastic and I know Mum is in the best care. She's a feisty lady! Love Chris

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by mad14kt 12d ago

Chris praying that your mom will have a speedily recovery.

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pennifold by pennifold 11d ago

Thanks so much Monica, so lovely to see your avatar again. Love Chris

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by sebsews 12d ago

My dear friend Chris, my heart goes out to you. You have worked so hard at helping your mother stay safe. This is not your fault, please don't blame yourself, you were there to once again help her. He above has control and a plan for her. For years I have always had a smile when I saw a post or picture of your beautiful mother. She is thankful for what you have done for her through these last years, I think that is important. I am sending prays of healing, comfort and love. Please take care of yourself. Love, Suzanna

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pennifold by pennifold 11d ago

Oh! Suzanna, now my eyes are leaking. I'll try and do my best. Thank you my friend. I know you are going through rough times too. Love Chris

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by asterixsew Moderator 12d ago

Chris thanks for the update.

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pennifold by pennifold 11d ago

Thanks Caroline, every day is a struggle, I'm sure everyone who deals with this Disease knows what it's like. Love Chris

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by joolz52 12d ago

thinking of you Penny. We too live in the Hunter, Fern Nay, near Stockton and I just went trough the same thing in July so I understand your pain. Will keep you and your mum in my prayers. I think this is the hardest part of life when we still fell like a child and it's hard to be strong. Take care and rest as much as you can

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pennifold by pennifold 11d ago

Thanks so much for your kind words. It's not an easy path to follow. Everyone is telling me to look after myself, so I know I have to and to be strong at the same time. Love Chris

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by pennifold 12d ago

Just an update. Thursday 24th November, 7.30am

Mum has actually 2 broken bones in the C1 and C2. The first picture is of Amy with Mum as she was replying to Steve asking how the 2 'Nannas" were coping.

The second one is Dana our elder daughter. She had just come straight from school, as she is the Assistant Vice Principal she can't leave the school grounds till after 4.00pm She looks like a nurse in her Aboriginal print T shirt. Love Chris

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by sdrise 12d ago

Chris Our hearts go out to you and mum. Prayers are being said for you all . Keep us updated we care ... IT is not your fault. It is just an accident no one could have seen coming. We all know how you care for your mum with love. She is in good hands. HUGS and Prayers to you and yours. Suzanne

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Oh! thanks so much Suzanne. It's been a harrowing time I can tell you. I need to do some things for me today. As I just said to Chris, Trev told me to look after myself too, as he said I'll be going to the funny farm as he puts it if I don't look after myself. I will do so today, but will go into the hospital at lunchtime now. Love Chris

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by cfidl 12d ago

Bless your heart. She wants you to take care of yourself. God's will be done. Hugs and prayers for you and yours. Christine

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks Chris, Mum knows how much I've cared for her and is thankful. I was worried about looking after myself and Trev just said to me, make sure you have some "Me" time today. I've got a hair appointment at 11.15 and there are some other things I need to do too, so I might wait now till lunchtime to see her. She won't sleep whilst anyone is with her and I want her to rest. Love Chris

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by stork 12d ago

Chris, I am so sorry this has happened. Prayers for your Mum and family as you deal with all of this. I know that your faith in God is strong, and he will lead you thru. God Bless!

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Hi Tonya, thanks so much for your kind words. I am so thankful for my prayer warrior friends and I know that whatever happens it's out of my control and in His hands now. Thanks so much for caring. Love Chris

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by 02kar Moderator 12d ago

Chris, I am crying with you. I know we all feel your Mum is a part of our family too, just as you are our sister. God does work in mysterious ways, doesn't He! You have worked so hard to give your Mum dignity and a wonderful quality of life. And now she will have that continue, just not all by your hands and time. Keep the faith that she will recover. And what a blessing for Mark and Leeanne to be there to help and Mark to be available. It sounds like God had everything set up and ready when this could have happened when she was alone. Please know we have you all wrapped in prayers and hugs. And please keep us updated.

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

HI dear Karen, you have hit the nail on the head. I told Mum, what if I hadn't been there, she couldn't have called out to anyono as it was at the back of her property againsf a fence. She lives on a busy road and no-one would have heard her cry out. I literally screamed for help whilst trying to keep Mum stable. The Dementia makes her very fidgety.. I told her she could have been there all night until I came to her in the morning. So yes, I know God was watching over her.
I'm going in this morning, but i need some me time. I have a hair appointment at 11.15, so I'll go see Mum, have my hair done and then go back. Hopefully I'll learn a bit more about her care time frame at the hospital.
Since yesterday we have been informed she has 2 fractures on the C1 and C2!!! I'll certainly keep everyone on her updated. Love Chris

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by dragonflyer 12d ago

Oh, Chris....so very sad to hear this...sending love, light and prayers to all.

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Hi Kim, that's the prayers that my sister always sends, love and light. Every prayer is gratefully received, Love Chris

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by mrskiki 12d ago

Oh Chris, I am so very sorry for your Mum's pain and your feeling distraught. Praying for comfort and healing for you all. Hugs. Nan

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks so much Nan. Every prayer on here is lifting my heart and I know she is in great hands at the hospital. Love Chris

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by graceandham 13d ago

So heartbreaking to read this Chris. I am praying tonight for your peace and for rest so you can make "best decisions" for her. I'm so glad she just had this time visiting with your sister, too, so that she really knows how she currently is and she had a hand at the hard work of helping her. Cling to each other and your kids and hubby during these days, as you have been.

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks Betsey, Jewls now knows what I've been through these past 3 years, but of course this year has been the hardest. I hope she can come up but as I said below she has a small hobby farm with animals she looks after. It's called Sanctuary on Eyre (Eyre Peninsula) and she has an almost blind Tonkinese cat, a new German Shepherd called Asta and a Galah (which is a pet) and of course Mum's dog Miss Lily Rose, plus a couple of Shetland ponies, chickens etc.
The kids have been so worried about me as I've been through some really stressful times. Ben particularly (our son) has been a 'rock of Gilbraltar' for me. Amy is Mum's favourite Grandchild and she has been wonderful. Dana came in yesterday and was wonderful too, she's a Assistant Principal at one of our local schools and is always busy! I'm so glad to have such a supportive family and the staff at the hospital have already commented on what a lovely family Mum has. She agreed! Love Chris

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by shirley124 edited 13d ago

Chris my heart and eyes are crying for you. Your mum is in good hands and will be well cared for in the hospital. I pray that she will recover. I know the Lord is watching over you all. Please try to get some rest today. I hope your sister will be able to join you soon to make things a little less stressful. Prayers for all the family. Hugs

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Hi Shirley, I've been speaking with Jewls every day just letting her know what Mum has been up to. Sometimes we laugh at the funny things she's been doing other days I'm in tears with the frustration of it all. Jewls has a small farm and is a rescuer of stray animals, so she just can't get up and come here. She is trying to organise things to come. Love Chris

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by dailylaundry 13d ago

Oh my goodness - how scary! Chris, don't feel guilty - all the decisions are out of your hands. Sounds as though your dear Mum is getting very good care and they will watch her and keep her safe. Please keep us updated - I had been wondering how she was doing! Try your best not to dwell on that scene in your mind where she falls. Imagine instead that there were some gentle arms that broke her fall some until you could get to her. Sending prayers, love and lots of hugs your way! Laura

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Hi Laura, thanks for your comforting words. My dear friend at Church said something similar. Just imagine that Jesus was there trying to break her fall. I knew the way she fell that she had broken her neck. It's just horrible reliving that scene, through the day I'm not too bad it's when I'm trying to sleep that it goes on and on. I am praying for peace of mind too. Love Chris

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by irenewayne 13d ago

So sorry to hear this Chris. I really hope she will rally around & get better quickly. Such an awful time for you & your family. Think positive & take care

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks so much Irene. I pray also for God to take this all under control. It's really out of my control now. Love Chris

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by dlonnahawkins 13d ago

Oh Chris. I am so sorry for this to have happened. It is very trying, for you and your family. Praying that all does go well, and that her recovery will be better than expected.
Prayers to you and your family.

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks so much for taking the time to write. I know how much you've been through a lot too over the past couple of years. I appreciate every prayer. Love Chris

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by crafter2243 Moderator 13d ago

OH dear Chris. My heart bleeds for you. It is horrible to see a loved one suffer. It makes it double difficult if communication is almost impossible. I know how much you have struggled with the decisions what is best for your mom. It looks as if now you have no choice. I pray that God gives you peace, that your Mom will not be in pain and heal fast. I pray God gives you and the family the wisdom to make the right decision as far as the future plans for your mom is concerned. For right now I am sending you hugs. Hope you can sleep tonight.

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Hi Angie, every post on here is lifting my spirits. It's 6.35am Thursday as I write back. It's been a very hectic time as you can imagine. Thanks for your beautiful words of comfort, I appreciate each and everyone of them. Love Chris

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by rescuer Moderator 13d ago

I will pray for comfort for both of you and your siblings too. May the Lord's peace be with you all.

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks so much Rescuer. We are all so worried and dealing with the Dementia too is the hardest. I know she has full time care up in that ward, but it's still hard to let go. Love Chris

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by gerryvb 13d ago

what can I say, ....don't feel guilty you did and always do what you can out of love for your mum. Prayers and big hugs filled with love are coming your way. and prayers for mum ....😘

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks darling Gerry, I know I haven't been on here much due to being a full time carer, even though we've had the Baptist Care ladies helping out. There is so much to do now. I continue to read your great posts. I'll get back to them soon. Love Ch

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by asterixsew Moderator 13d ago

Chris I am so sorry to hear this news about your mum. am about to go out so will add more later

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asterixsew by asterixsew 13d ago

Chris the only bit I am going to add now is that it is not up to you to care for your mother yourself but you can make sure that she gets the best care. Thinking positive thoughts for you, your mum and the rest of your family

pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Hi Caroline, oh my, the tears are flowing reading your response. You are right, I know I've done the best I could with the circumstances of her health these past 3 years. Love Chris

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by noah 13d ago

Oh my We sure will pray for you and her. Big hugs Chris xxxxxxxxxx

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Thanks Carolyn, every one helps. God has her in His hands. Love Chris
P.S. I'll just let you all read what I've written to Toogie for you all.

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by toogie 13d ago

Chris, I feel your situation, as I’ve been through similar, with my own mom and sister. Try to not put yourself on a quilt trip. Believe me it won’t be as nice as your recent trip-lol- just trying to lighten your mood. Look at it this way. God took all these decisions out of your hands with this accident. Everything is falling in place not because of anything you did or didn’t do. His plan and timing are always perfect for His children. He loves you and knows how much you love your mum. If she doesn’t know bc of dementia where she is anyway then it probably won’t really matter. When I had to place my sister I came home and cried my heart out. She loved it! You know my love is with you, in all you will go through, with your mum. I hope you feel it-Toogie

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pennifold by pennifold 12d ago

Oh! Toogie, thanks so much for your caring heart. I just can't get that image out of y mind. I'm having trouble sleeping and darling Meg told me to drink some warm milk before sleep. It seemed to help me last night, but I'm not going to sleep till midnight and am listening to medidative music. God must be sick of my praying, but I know that He has it all under control. I'm not looking forward to going in today as she finally got into a room (shared with 3 others men and a girl) They have her in the Stroke/Neurological section. She is delirious and I pray she isn't trying to move as she is so fidgety. She keeps moving and that's not good. I was hoping they might sedate her to settle her and get her to sleep. She was awake all day Tuesday and yesterday. The kids have all been in to see her and I'm all "cried" out.
I have cancelled Mum's carers with Baptist care and have to cancel all current appointments. Her Doctor rang me last night to say how sad he was to hear what happened.
I have all my Church praying for her to be at peace. Thanks once again. Love Chris

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