by pennifold 29 Apr 2022

Hello my dear friends,


With what is happening in the world, my problems are nothing compared to the misery we are all witnessing.

It's Saturday 30th April 7.30am as I write this post. It's going to be a gorgeous day and can you believe it's the end of April already?

Well, our church closed last Sunday evening and I've had such a busy week looking after Mum and helping set up the church now for our Op Shop.

Yesterday, I did an Inventory of the things that we have to be either sold or put into archives. It's amazing how much 'stuff' we collect.

Today someone from Nelson Bay (the other side of Newcastle) is coming to take all the crockery, glasses and cutlery. Obviously someone who works for a community club or something.

I've got members from our three other parishes coming on Friday to take anything they need, we have numerous robes from previous priests and stoles, banners, Altar frontals, Lectern frontals, girdles etc.

The church looks so empty now, only the altar table is in situ, but we are going to use it as the desk to have our computer, cash register, telephone set up on it.

I will be attending Belmont Church (my old church from when we first came to Newcastle) with Mum tomorrow morning as their new Priest Peter Tinney was commissioned on Wednesday evening. The service is at 10.00, so that gives me a bit more time to get Mum organised.

Speaking of Mum, her Commonwealth Homecare Package Scheme (CHPS) was granted and her first service started yesterday (Friday). Mum gets someone coming in 3 times a week, to shower her (she says she doesn't need help doing that, but she does!), get her breakfast and then another person comes at lunchtime to ensure she has something substantial to eatl.
Once a fortnight we have a cleaning lady and also someone who can take Mum out for 2 hours for a social outing. It relieves me of the pressure of having to take her out every day.

I'll still have to go over every morning and make sure she takes her medication. She doesn't like taking her meds as she has difficulty swallowing them down. She has reflux and it sometimes bothers her.

With regards to the showering, I told her -
"Mum you don't have to have the carer in the shower with you, but she needs to make sure that you put the right taps (faucets) on to get the water the right temperature" That seemed to be ok with her, well I hope.

Yesterday when the girl came to do that, Mum said she'd already had a shower - she hadn't! I went there at 8.00 to make sure she took her tablets and she said the lady had been and she had told her not to worry as she'd had a shower - I went down to her ensuite and it wasn't wet!!!!!!!!!!

I had had a bad day with her on Thursday and left in tears, tried ringing my sister, no answer, I couldn't ring my girls as they both work, so I rang a friend from church and we had a lovely chat (she'd been through the same thing I'm going through with her Mum).

So I've not done any sewing this week, but have bought some beautiful FSL designs from EmbroiderybyTM - They are beautiful lace bootees that I hope to make for one of Amy's friends who is having her first baby - actually twins, in July. She is going to be 40, they've had a lot of difficulty in trying to have babies and now twins, wow! They are so excited.

Well, my dear friends, enough of my venting, but I'm so happy to be able to still come on here and visit, give out flowers and praise everyone who has done marvellous projects. God bless and I'll come on again soon. Love Chris

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by crafter2243 Moderator 30 Apr 2022

Chris all I can say I am so sorry for all that you have to deal with. You are on my mind
It brought back memories of the time when I had my sister in law and brother in law living with me. One with dementia and the other with Alzheimer. I am glad you are getting a little bit of help. Hugs

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pennifold by pennifold 01 May 2022

Hi Angie, I'm so glad to be able to come on here and know that so many of you have already gone through what I'm going through. It's great to be able to compare notes, love and blessings to you, love Chris

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by dlonnahawkins 30 Apr 2022

Chris, so sorry you have had such a rough week. And you can vent to us anytime. It is hard having to deal with parents as they age. My mother had Alzheimer's and my daddy took care of her up until the day before he died. (Nearly 14 years) I knew he was frustrated from time to time, but the last few years he did have healthcare for her. That at least freed him up some so that he could do his errands and not have to strain to get her bathed. I lived so far away and was only able to fly out a couple times a year, but my heart broke each time I was out there to see what he was going through. Hugs to you.

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pennifold by pennifold 01 May 2022

Oh! Beth, you poor girl, yes it's so hard watching Mum go through this especially as I watched Dad too. I know how you felt too, it's just so frustrating. I'll keep going as long as I can until the day comes where she will have to go into Residential Care. Love Chris

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by sdrise 30 Apr 2022

Vent any time Chris. We are here for you and will pick you up when you need help. It is sad to see your church close that you love but it is going to be used for something good. I know how frustrating at times caring for a loved one is. I dealt with my dad who was the same as your mom. I know what you are going through. Prayers are still coming your way. We are here any time you need us. HUGS.

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pennifold by pennifold 01 May 2022

Thanks so much Suzanne, yes, it's great that the church building can be used for something else. Thanks so much for your kind words too, I appreciate everyone's prayers and care for me. Love Chris

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by mariagiannina 30 Apr 2022

Thinking of you Chris, vent all you want. A lot of us have been there, so we understand. I wish there had been help available when we were going through it with Dad 30 odd years ago.

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pennifold by pennifold 01 May 2022

Hi Mary, yes, it happened like that with my Dad. He's been dead 11 years this Father's Day September 5th was it the year he died. Thanks for your kind thoughts, love Chris

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by dailylaundry 29 Apr 2022

Chris, good friend, you can always come here and vent! We all need to do that from time to time! I am so happy you are finally getting some help for your Mum!! I noticed it isn't 7 days a week so a lot is still going to be on your shoulders - but, hopefully, you'll get a break now and then. Be patient with yourself - come here and let us know how you are managing - we care about you! Loads of hugs for you, Laura

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pennifold by pennifold 30 Apr 2022

Thanks dear Laura, yes, you are right it's only 3 days a week and I'll still have to go over every day to give her her meds. Some days it has been a struggle, but I know I'm being watched over. I know the Lord won't give me more than what I can handle.
Thank you for all your kind words and help too, it's so uplifting. I wish I could meet all of you and have a wonderful weekend away, just chatting, sewing etc. I bet it would be a blast. Love Chris

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by 02kar Moderator 29 Apr 2022

Oh Chris, I'm so sorry you are struggling. I know it has been tough having to say good bye to a church you loved. But I'm so grateful the building will still be used and be a source of many more happy memories.

I know it is both a blessing to have help in for your mum and a tough situation for your mum to learn to trust strangers. And now you will be communicating with the folks which means yet another item on your schedule. But it will work out. And you do need some time for you too. Please do vent with others and with us. I think most all of us do understand what you are going through. I like what stork said about hugging yourself. Ans as you hug yourself tight, think of all of us with our arms around you hugging you right back. And if you are having a bad day, don't be afraid to PM me and any others so we can tell you how much we love you and to pray with and for you.

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pennifold by pennifold 30 Apr 2022

Oh! Karen, now I'm really crying!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you dear friend, I'm just so glad I've got this group of friends who I can 'talk' to. It means the world to me, even though we are miles apart knowing that someone on the other side of the world is thinking of what I'm going through, when there is so much heartache all around us. Thanks for your kind words and guidance. Love Chris

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by graceandham 29 Apr 2022

Chris, So sorry this is all so hard. You've been a trooper and will probably continue to be, although I'm sure sometimes you feel as though you're slogging through the mud. Glad the care package is achieved and hopefully as she adjusts to her new people, things will ease a bit for you. Are any of the meds available in liquid form? I have a tough time swallowing pills, too. My aunt used to push her kids pills into half a banana and hand it to them - chunk, chunk, chunk, down they went! When I was small Mother used to crush my pills into a spoon of Hershey's syrup (chocolate, for over ice cream). Just taught me to crave chocolate! Although you may not hear gratitude from your mom at this point, we are all grateful she has you as a daughter, friend and advocate, helping her over the hard parts. Big hug from way over here.

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pennifold by pennifold 30 Apr 2022

Hi Betsey, unfortunately her meds are all pills. I've even resorted to putting them in honey and am contemplating putting them in Strawberry jam or Apricot Jam (Jelly to you guys) and at least it's easy for her to swallow.
My friend who I rang said the same thing re the gratitude thing, she even said her Mum used to say that her daughter never visited her anymore and Caroline did see her every day. It's so depressing knowing that this might happen with Mum.
I gave her a proper shower this morning and washed her hair and conditioned it, then set it in rollers. I've laid out her clothes for tomorrow for Church. So I'll arrive a bit earlier and do her hair and make sure she looks great. Thanks for your kind words, love Chris

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by stork 29 Apr 2022

Chris my heart is hurting for you. Our family has been thru it's fair share of heartaches and trials with family members. Since the passing of my Sister in law last month, it has been very stressful, tearful and trying at times. She never married and all our kids (9 nieces and nephews) were "her" kids. She pretty much left them everything and they are bickering. My other 2 sil's behaving horribly. Take your arms and grab yourself around the shoulders and squeeze, HUGS!!! Prayers for you hun

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pennifold by pennifold 30 Apr 2022

Thanks Tonya, it's so sad when that sort of thing happens. I do pray that common sense will prevail and they can all get together in harmony. I pray that you get some relief from all that disharmony soon. I just gave myself a hug, thanks, love Chris

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by toogie 29 Apr 2022

Oh Chris I understand fully your frustration but it doesn’t make you love her any less. I finally reached a breaking point with my mom and said one cross sentence to her. I had never talked back to my mom and I have always regretted that statement. I loved my momma and she was a good mom, just like I know you love your good mom. I do wish your sis could come and help you. I had no one to help me here either.
Vent all you want. Some of us have been in your shoes while others haven’t even tried them on. They will one day and will understand when their patience run thin. ❤️Toogie

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pennifold by pennifold 30 Apr 2022

Thanks Toogie, you hit the nail on the head. I always remember that about getting cross, I'm sure she was cross with me as a little girl, when she was training me to do things, it's just now reversed. I just bite my lip or cry that I'm trying to do the best by keeping her in her own home for as long as she wants. I'm a real softie and Trev says I need to toughen up! It's alright for him, he's been a top executive in 3 BHP (Broken Hill Pty - once the biggest company in Australia) companies and dealt with all sorts - me on the other hand cry at sad commercials and anything that gets me emotional! Thanks for your kind words too. Love Chris

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by asterixsew Moderator 29 Apr 2022

Chris I’m busy posting birthdays and 30 April is a busy birthday on Cute. You sound as if the week has been busy. I will read your post when I have finished posting but I just want to say thinking about you. Life sounds stressful for you? Cx

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asterixsew by asterixsew 29 Apr 2022

When my mother had carers in they had a day book which each would sign, plus date and time, each would comment on what they had done. There was also a list of what was to be done like Meds, breakfast, shower so we ant they could see what was happening. Its difficult when the roles have reversed but we get on and try to do our best though there are times that we dont feel that and think were failing. Have a cyber hug and remember whatever your doing a great job

pennifold by pennifold 30 Apr 2022

Oh! Caroline, my eyes are leaking! Thank you my dear friend. I really appreciate your comments.
I was talking it over with Trevor and said the same thing, I left messages for them to do what I want, because Mum will say she can do that, when I know she can't. Love Chris

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