Update: Oh my friends. Today I come to you again with a heavy heart asking for prayers. My middle daughter is in a toxic relationship- he is basically a narcissist for all intents and purposes. Either she does not see it or does not want to see it despite multiple people telling her. Yesterday morning she woke up to him sleeping on the floor because he was mad at her for something. She decided to leave for the day, He texted her and told her to come back and get the rest of her stuff. He didn't talk to her the entire day until she went back late last night. This is only one of many tantrums he has had. There are times he won't talk to her for days. He let her walk 3 miles to work because he could not trust her to drive his car. The list goes on. Today she informed me that she is moving with him and his mother to Arizona next Wednesday. Multiple people have been telling her it is not a good idea but she keeps going back to him and now she is moving 1500 miles away from us. And to top it all off she is 9 weeks pregnant. I don't know what to do except pray, cry and pray. She keeps telling me that she has hope that this fellow is going to change when the baby comes. We all know how that works but try to tell that to a young woman.... Thank you for letting me vent and for your prayers.

God's blessings on all involved.

The responses here are thoughtful and true to the writer. She is fortunate to have you and will live to the best of her ability with child. I would support her good health with supplements and organic food so that the baby will have the best when it arrives. As for the father, while not being dismissive it would probably be best if you did not state your opinion as it is their lives. I found that neutrality to be the best position for someone in your position as one who really wants to be a part of the baby's life.

It is hard being a parent - when you see the wrong choices being made and there is nothing you can do. Bless your daughter's heart - she doesn't realize that he isn't going to change. Prayers for her, her child and you especially - Hugs and love, Lau

My heart breaks for you. I have 2 daughters myself. I had a terrible time with my youngest many years ago. Kept choosing the wrong men - the list goes on.
I found out it was better to keep quiet. It is a horrible situation when the chosen boyfriend is manipulative and jealously usually goes with it.
My thoughts are with you and all Cuties are behind you. Hugs Sarah

Please tell her no matter what, she can ALWAYS come home. I'll be praying for her and for you.

1 comment

by parkermom 24 Jan 2020

as will I

Pray and give it to God. She is unable to see the situation as she is in the center of it. By being supportive, you are giving her the courage (some day) to leave and find happiness elsewhere. Hopefully, she will start to see that soon. This is in my prayer journal.

1 comment

by jrob 28 Jan 2020

I'm so glad you updated. My prayers continue.

Pray, cry, pray is a good start towards helping her. I was married to an immature fellow who I thought would be different when the baby came. He was. He did the postpartum depression - for 14 years. He couldn't stand that my total attention had to refocus when the baby arrived. Because he would not seek help, and we were all getting depressed, I got out. Okay, after 18 years. I'm very patient.

Tell your daughter - from me - Once a narcissist, always a narcissist. Tell her that having a baby does not change people. It merely accentuates their weaknesses and their strengths. If he doesn't trust her to drive his car, how is she going to get the baby to doctor appointments, or get to the grocery with the baby to buy diapers or formula or baby supplies when they run out? Oh, and that thing of, come back and get the rest of your stuff... that is cut-off. He is ready to break the relationship, or at least her trust in the relationship at the drop of a hat. I predict the next cut-off when she is quite vulnerable, such as when the baby arrives and comes home.

So, so sorry for this sad situation.

Something in the air....My SIL just served my dtr with divorce papers - after 20 years of marriage. Thank goodness no kids involved.... Prayers for your daughter and you too. I feel your pain... God bless...

Sometimes it is very tough being a parent. When our children are adults we can listen, then offer advice. I am sure she knows that you love her and are there for her whatever happens.