by toogie 28 Dec 2019

Hello Cuties! I hope everyone had a good Christmas. We had the family here. Always enjoy seeing them all growing up and it seems so fast, too.

I was thinking how times have changed. I read a poem today about help in the kitchen, did you want it or not? So, I thought about how it used to be.

I was the youngest of three girls and mamma only wanted us in the kitchen, when it was washing dishes time.
When I met my ( now husband) and would go to his moms, it was completely different. He had eleven sister and brothers, mostly all married, as he was number eleven, so a lot of them had kids. A lot of people,all ages-lol
Most Sundays, a lot of them and us included, would go for lunch. Years later, I often wondered how they afforded to feed everyone. They had a garden, chickens and animals so I know that helped.
Anyway, the women helped with the cooking and clean-up in the kitchen and it really was a small one. I actually learned to cook there, by first watching, then doing. The table was in the center of the kitchen.
The ‘first’ table was when the men ate, altogether. When they finished, we hand washed their plates, while other plates were placed for the children, the ‘second table’. The bowls of food were replenished at this time, too.
At last was the 'third table or last table', depending on how many had been seated and fed before, when we women ate.
After eating, one lady washed dishes and sometimes we traded out, one would dry them, plenty others to put away clean dishes and food, one cleaned stove top, and another swept the kitchen floor. We were through in no time, always laughing and joking while we worked.
If summertime, we then retired to the big front porch, for a rest and visit. At 2 pm we always made and served pots of coffee. I learned to drink coffee there too-lol- I could tell you about when I served one day, but that's another story. Now where was I...
It was here than my youngest learned to play her fiddle on the back porch. She was playing Amazing Grace and my sister-in-law Weeda told us all to listen. Everyone stopped talking, to hear her first song she played by ear and we really recognized. (Weeda was the mother, to the nephew Brad, I just made the quilt for. I miss her)
We still get together with all the sister/brothers/families twice a year, at the old home place. We still help in the kitchen, but I find the young ones are missing out on the fellowship that we had. It seems most are content to stay on their phones. SIGH...
I miss those times and people that are no longer here. Thank God, I still have my memories (so far!-lol)

Fast forward-I like to have the food prepared before they all come in and get in my way. It seems like SIL Grayson likes to be just in front of where I need to get, in a drawer or cabinet. Ashley tells him finally, he is in my way. If he's not helping, get out of the kitchen!
However, when the eating is over I do like help cleaning and clearing up. I usually have help from my daughters, but seems like 'some women' act like they have been to a restaurant! Leaving clean-up is not an option. It is too many of us ( it was about 24 of us this year) and too much mess as they stay for both meals.
I always felt if someone was willing to spend time preparing a meal for me, the least I could do was help with the clean-up.
So, my question is, Do you like help in your kitchen?

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by crafter2243 Moderator 30 Dec 2019

Toogie I think you should start writing books. You would do well.

My family met last Saturday for Christmas celebration. We did it later on purpose to save everyone the horrible holiday traffic. We were 17 people and 2 dogs.
Now since all of my children are married and parents, I get send out of the kitchen. "We got it Mom" I am being told. So I get to watch and enjoy. My oldest great-grand son dove right in to help. I was just worried nothing will be left of the cucumber by the time he got through.
I was not allowed to help with clean up either. Has to be age related because even in my own house I am being told to sit down.

Now if I entertain (not family members) I do not want anyone to help. I much rather clean up after guests have left and enjoy the time with them while they are visiting.

3 comments
asterixsew by asterixsew 30 Dec 2019

What a great picture and I hope that there was some cucumber left for eating

toogie by toogie edited 30 Dec 2019

Love the picture and that he is willing to help.
Lucky you with a family that jumps right in.
These are all family members I am speaking of that need to help. Of course when I have other non-family guests, it is usually a smaller number of them and I do wait until they l

toogie by toogie 30 Dec 2019

leave to clean up.

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by graceandham 28 Dec 2019

Yes, I want help, and I only have sons - no daughters in law so far. I remember we all pitched in cleaning up at my grandmother's after a big feed, except one aunt who was always pregnant, nursing, or miscarrying. She would eat just great, then say she felt "thick" (sick, with a speech issue) and my grandmother would give her permission to go upstairs and lie down, that the daughters in law could handle the cleanup. When the talking moved to the living room, she returned downstairs, restored!

I remember three things about eating there. 1. She wasn't that great as Southern cooks go, merely adequate. 2. My granddaddy wanted to drink all the pot likker left from cooking the veggies in a big glass when it had cooled. She cooked her veggies all morning for a 2:00 dinner, so all our vitamins were in that tall glass. He lived to be 96 and 11 months, I assume from working a farm till 91 and drinking those concentrated vitamins from fresh produce. 3. There was often diarrhea after eating there as she washed in a dishpan of soapy water and did not rinse well, from years of having to pump all water used, although by then, she had running water from the city. So, we always ate on soapy dishes, and from soapy pans, and drank from soapy glasses.

1 comment
toogie by toogie 28 Dec 2019

lol-you have given me a good laugh. I went one time with my dad somewhere and as I was young I didn't get in the way. I did watch them clean up and I remember them not rinsing the dishes well.
I also remember my mother-in-law saying her sister always had to run to the outhouse after a meal. She would time it so that when she came back, all the clean-up was finished. However, they fixed her once and out waited her. When she came back inside she was surprised to find them waiting for her to help!-lol

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by shirley124 28 Dec 2019

Lovely story Toogie. No I prefer to clean up in the kitchen myself while my guests sit around the table and chat. Mostly while hubby is serving the desert I start on washing the main course dishes. I mostly have them almost finished when it is time to sit and enjoy dessert. We can see our guests from the kitchen area so I do not feel I am neglecting them. When we have a meal with others I always offer to help with the dishes. One funny story we often laugh about is when we had a meal with one of my cousins and she she would not let us help with the dishes, said she would do them later. As we were leaving I said 'you should have let us help wash up' her reply was 'I have my own way of washing up' We thought this very funny. She is a lovely lady just the same. I think she takes after her grandmother. I am the youngest of 16 children and we lived on a farm so my mother was always feeding someone. This Aunty arrived one day and her comment to my mother was and what is this we are having Maisie' meaning morning, afternoon tea, lunch or dinner or what ever other reason there may have been to have a drink and something to eat. There was always people at our home. Lots of fun and laughter. Thanks for letting me rant on. Hugs

1 comment
toogie by toogie 28 Dec 2019

Sixteen children, oh my! I thought my in-laws had plenty with 12, however, my husband's grandfather had 24! He of course was married again after first wife died. One had 11 and the other 13 but he raised and fed them all. No government help back then either. People had truck patches instead of gardens so plenty of food.

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by asterixsew Moderator 28 Dec 2019

Yes I love help in my kitchen.
Toogie I fed 9 yesterday and that's 7 more than usual, so cooking for the numbers you feed is excellent as I have lost that skill. If someone has prepared and cooked a meal for me then I feel it is only correct that I help with the cleaning up. Thanks for your lovely memories, I have loved reading them very much.

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toogie by toogie 28 Dec 2019

I wrote this with you in mind, remembering how you like to read... I think I shocked my sister when her offer to make the dressing was accepted. I am learning to say, "Yes, you can" and "No, I can't" more and more. As we get older, others need to step up. My youngest has taken over the Thanksgiving meal. She loves to entertain, but also sends a group text asking who is bringing what dish. You have to respond-lol

sewmadau by sewmadau 28 Dec 2019

I loved your memories of family and some of their funny ways. As an only child I never experienced what you did, how I envy you. All I ever wanted as a child was a brother or sister. Then I got married and ended up with 3 BIL and a SIL. The first Christmas for us or I should say me was just perfect, after so many years of wanting either a brother or sister I had my wish. LOL The first Christmas will live with me for ever.

toogie by toogie 28 Dec 2019

Memories are a good thing and I’m so glad your wish came true. Maybe not in the way you first hoped for, but none the less you have them now!

sharonleekesner by sharonleekesner 29 Dec 2019

Thank you all for sharing your family stories, I had some of this for a very short time and my eyes are misty with memories. I loved all those people, still have a few and would love to have a big gathering with all the work with fun and sharing. Bless you all.

toogie by toogie edited 29 Dec 2019

It is good to remember the good times, make new good times and enjoy what we do have. I hope you get your big gathering soon. Happy New Year Sharon!

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