by anssmile 28 Dec 2015

Dear Cuties


My prayers are with all of you who need it.

Please pray for me, I suffer from suicidal depression which is normally controlled OK with medication.

At the moment it is spinning downwards out of control...
I feel so silly to ask for your prayers when so many people need prayers, but please pray for me.

The following situation is also worsening it:
My mother had severe strokes and were in and out of hospital this last few months. She was back in hospital since before Christmas, and deteriorated so much that the only things she can do for herself, is eat and drink.

She is due to be released on the 31st of December, but I do not know how we are going to look after her when she gets home. Please pray for her!

She stays with my brother, and not one of us have sufficient funds to employ someone to look after her 24 hours a day, and I can not see how my brother can cope helping her as needed.

And my son wants me to get rid of all my stash needed to create things sewing or embroidering. It seems so far I can keep my embroidering machine... I am so tired of life...

Hugs
Anneliese

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by dragonflyer 01 Jan 2016

My dear Anneliese..I hope you find that 2016 will bring you the happiness and peace that you deserve...please stay strong and fight on...we are all with you here on Cute...God Bless...

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by kalamazoo 01 Jan 2016

Anneliese,
How are you doing today? I hope you feel the outpouring of love and concern for you & your Mom. God is on His throne & he loves you! He hears the prayers of us Cuties for you.
Cindy

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by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Dear Cuties, I feel so much better just seeing how many Cuties are praying for me, and with so many of you needing your own prayers. Please keep on praying for me.

I am praying for all of you who needs God help with personal pain, bereavement, or anything else.

My CV was given to a very senior person, but he is currently on leave. Apparently he liked my CV, and I am sure if I get a job with his company, most of my problems will be solved. If I get my own place to stay I can keep my stash and start painting and embroidering and digitizing again. That will lift my spirits tremendously...

My mother is 85 years old, and very frail. If need be, she has a house that can be sold to pay for care for her. The only problem is that my brother is staying with her in the house, and he does not have a job. Where will he stay if the house is sold? He is extremely aggressive and violent, and no family member will allow him to stay with them.

Government Institutions in South Africa is not an option, their service is extremely poor.

Please keep on praying for my mother, and my brother as well. I am very worried about him.

Best Regards and LOTS of hugs.
Flowers to you all.
Anneliese

1 comment
hightechgrammy by hightechgrammy 01 Jan 2016

Anneliese, Do not depair, things will get better, and we are praying for you as well, Sometimes when things look so bad, the next day help comes and all is better. Hang in there and trust in God. Hugs and prayers, Jan

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by zoefzoef 30 Dec 2015

Anneliese, how are you doing now a days ? I hope litlle by little, step by step life becomes in a better balance for you. Life is not easy, we have God and friends (cuties) to help. Even maybe we live far appart, know that in our hearts we are all living close. Talk with us, write to us. We take care for eachother. Hugs Linda

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much for your prayers. I do feel better, but`please keep on praying for me.

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by peafarm 30 Dec 2015

Know that many people are praying for you. You are a child of God and that is worth more than anything. When you feel you are at your peak reach out to your Heavenly Father-listen to what He says. We all have unique situations that bring us to what we think is more than we can bare. This year I had a time with my mother. She lived with one sister since year 2000-she allowed our Dad to build on to her house and live there. Dad passed in 2000. She, the sister, has been a horrible person as well as the grandson she has raised and was living there. In 2013 I had to scramble to try and find somewhere for mom to live due to growing threats from that sister. She settled down then it started all over again in 2014. Thanks to a house my sister in law bought but couldn't move to yet, she allowed my mom to live there. I do have another brother and sister but their situations as well as mine prevented us from having mom live with us. I took care of all mom's needs--traveling an hour to pick her up and take to Dr. appts, grocery store, etc., then all the time it took to come back home. The others never wanted the responsibilities and work it took to handle all forms of life for her. Finally in May of 2015 mom let herself get so bad---didn't want to cook, wasn't eating or drinking [unbeknownst to me until it hit hard and fast] Had to get her to ER and hospitalized. Got help getting her to a nursing home but had 2 heart attacks there [they called them panic attacks] and back to hospital where she passed. I am saying this to let you know that while in the hospital there were great people that helped me find out what to do and how to do it when I thought my head would burst trying to figure out what to do. Find help at the hospital/call her doctor/ call your doctor and discuss openly your problems---and don't forget a pastor. There are so many sources of help but you have to make the first step. I have found the Cuties to be a GREAT source of inspiration and help--they aren't afraid of asking for prayer in this day and age of what is deemed appropriate. STAND UP and fight this. Prayers for you all=====

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by toogie 30 Dec 2015

ttt

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anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you. I do hope your injuries get better soon!

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by toogie 29 Dec 2015

Anneliese, please don't harm yourself.

First and foremost is YOU. Thank you for asking for prayer. It tells us you believe in God. You must know how much He loves you, He gave His son for our sins so don't dishonor Him by wasting your life. Talk to your doctor, mental health professional and your pastor.

Secondly, I had to place a sister in a nursing home. I had no idea how to go about this. The social worker at the hospital she was in helped/ advised me tremendously. The nursing facility will help you with all the formality. It took me about 3 weeks to get her placed and even though I cried to put her there, she loved it! She had been living alone and she's not anymore. Hang in there. This time will pass.

Thirdly, do you live with your son? If you do, no reason you are depressed! I would be too. I don't want to hurt your feelings about your son, but you need to face it. He's the one with a problem. It sounds like he wants to control you, make you miserable ! Don't let him succeed, you are worth so much more, than he wants you to feel you are!

If you DO live with him, keep everything in your own room so he doesn't have to go in and see.
If you don't live with him, so much better. Tell him to mind his own business, you have a plate full right now & a belly full of him!

If you are in the USA and you are having to live with him because of financial reasons, there is housing for the elderly that you can move in. I'm not sure exactly how it works but I think the government pays for part and you pay according to your income/finances.

Please don't feel all is hopeless. I know you don't have the energy to feel strong enough,but with all our prayers we will lift you up and you will be stronger than you think.
Take one hour/ day at a time. When you are at your lowest turn to God. Ask for His help. He will open doors you don't even know exiest. Give everyday and everything to Him, but also help yourself. Get out of that house and go for a walk in the sun, when weather permits. If you have to stay in your room, make your room bright and cheery. Try to keep it organized so you won't feel closed in.

I don't know if I have said anything that will help you. If not, i do hope someone has.
Remember this. You are important. You are loved! Your life is worth living! This time WILL pass. We care and love you like Christ means for us to.
In hope and Christian Love-Toogie

3 comments
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Hi

I do live with my son and can currently not afford a place of my own. My income is very small and most of it goes to medical costs.

My son hates my embroidery and sewing, and wants me to get rid of all my machines and accessories. He realized I will not get rid of my embroidery machine, but told me (and meant it) that so long as I stay with him, I will not be allowed to embroider, sew or paint.

Although I have my own room, he wants me to put everything in the built-in cubboards, and keep nothing else but my bed and my PC in the room. Currently I put all my fabrics, ribbons, thread, drawing pencils, paint etc in 9 big containers. They are stacked and I use them as tables. He wants to get rid of the containers.

Currently I work, wait 3 hours at a security gate with a guard for my son to pick me up to go home (he works late), get home, eat, sleep 5 hours, get up to go to work, etc.

And when my son talks to me, he tells me what a problem I am to him.

I do not want to be a problem to any one... And I do not want to lose my stuff in my containers...

Thank you for your prayers.

anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Oh, all my stuff is in my room, but he wants nothing but a bed and PC in my room...

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by maleah 29 Dec 2015

Dear Anneliese, Prayers are being sent to you. Please keep positive thoughts.

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by sewtired 29 Dec 2015

Dear Anneliese,
There is a lot of good advice below, I hope some of it will resonate with you and help you to make good choices from bad options.. No matter how bad things get, ending you life will only cause more grief for those you leave behind and kind of insures that your life won't get any better.
I hope it helps to know that there are many folks that care, even if we don't know you, or you us. We pray that your burdens will be lightened.
Bless you.

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by cfidl 29 Dec 2015

Prayers for you Anneliese. You have conquered so much these last few years. I pray your needs will be met and that all is resolved in the best interests of your family. I hope you can keep your stash, I know how important it is.

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anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by pennifold 28 Dec 2015

Praying for you and your needs Anneliese. God be with you during this time. Love Chris

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by Ossineu 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese,

please do not give up and let you rest from your depression.
I can well understand you - my mother had a stroke and from one day to the next changed our whole life. She sat in a wheelchair from then on and was able to eat only with a lot of effort itself and drink.
It was also for me to see a great burden, how helpless she become.
But we have come into the world helpless and need the help of our parents. Sometimes in life, the situation changes.
I wish you and your family a lot of strength for the future. I know from personal experience that one can achieve more than you think. And do not be afraid to ask for help somewhere.
Best wishes and I will pray for you and your family

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by dakota 28 Dec 2015

My thoughts are with you and your family. I am so proud of you.....you have great strength and courage. I know that it is difficult right now but with time and Cuties things will get brighter and more bareable. Just let us know when we can help.

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anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by arisann 28 Dec 2015

Dear Friend, I have prayed for you now and your family. You have a lot on you and I am so sorry you are in depression. But did you know, The Lord Jesus is big enough to shoulder all your problems and that He loves you more than anything. Please turn and look to Him for your needs, cares and concerns of life and living. When we are beaten up and down by life that is the exact time to look to Him and place every care on Him your creator and closest friend! Please now tell Him everything, also that you love Him. He is the closest friend we have. As close as your heartbeat. Please, please stay close to Him every minute of every day. He wants your life to be good and He will help you and give you joy even in the midst of all this life trouble of sickness you are going through. As for your son, he needs to love you and also all your stash, we women need our stuff!! Tell him no and keep your stuff. If you are like me I can not keep going out to buy every time I start to sew something. Do not get tired of life, Do Not!! DO NOT!!! Let the Lord Jesus help you right now. Now of your Mother just keep doing all you can for her. Because my Mother was ill like this and we did all we could. One thing I do wish I had told her I loved her more HUGGED her more and that she was the sweetest Mother in the world. I ask the Lord to tell her for me now. Now she has been gone for 10 years, boy do I every miss her and I do not regret not one thing I did for her. If it takes it out of you just keep on keeping on with God's help. Until all this hard in your life eases up. You can, YOU Can do it. Be strong, please!! YOU CAN!! Bless your heart, God be close to you right now bless you and give you strength. My love to you...Prayers... Please know you are loved and all are praying for you...You are so special, may you be lifted from this depression and blessed! Aris

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by shirley124 edited 28 Dec 2015

I do hope your son will see that you need your sewing and embroidery stash to help keep your mind occupied. Am praying for you, your mother and brother. Hope you can get some kind of help. Love and cyber hugs, Shirley

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by rachap 28 Dec 2015

Although none of us can know how very difficult this time is for you unless we have been there, please know that we are praying you will find the strength and help you need.

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by anangel 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese,
Continuous stress and worrying works havoc on our brain chemistry, throwing it out of whack. Staying overwhelmed with life's consuming challenges renders us to feeling helpless, hopeless, and like we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders all alone. To get that brain chemistry back in balance, takes not only medication, but constantly altering the thought process to good, rather than bad thoughts, reminding our self, repeatedly, how truly blessed we are, mentally listing the reasons to retrain our thinking. Avoid dark rooms or dimly lit areas during the daytime. Bright lights help lift the clouds of depression. I learned this by accident more than thirty years ago, before it was clinically discovered. I discovered that while standing under a bright fluorescent light in my kitchen, my deeply depressed mood was lifted. From then on, I searched diligently for sunshine and bright lights, until my depression subsided. It took this, and a lot of repeating to myself, "Nothing is coming my way today, Lord, that YOU and I can't handle!", or "This TOO shall pass!"
We are only one person. We can only give so much, before it destroys our own health, trying to be a caregiver. Your mother would not want that for you! It is time she has nursing home care. Sure, it will use any assets, she may have. If she doesn't have any, state nursing care is still available. Make the best decisions for ALL involved, and restore your mental health. LIFE is good, in spite of the many challenges presented! You deserve happiness, and that is gained from tiny steps one day at a time, that will lift the mental clouds, and help you regain your stamina!
When severely depressed, one stays tired and feels so out of control of the least aspect of her life. Somehow, muster the strength to tell your son to "buzz off"! Right now, your "stash" is better than any medicine to help you stay focused! He truly doesn't have a CLUE, as to all you are going through!!
Keeping you in my prayers for life to get much better for you, and a return to good mental health along with it!!
Hugs, Angel

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by aleene 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese , Know that I sent a prayer for your mom and You! I know it is hard on you with all that is going on to know what to do for yourself, I pray that you don't sell your stash, since that is what you need now more than ever to make life some what bearable.
Prayers
Aleene

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by 02kar Moderator 28 Dec 2015

You are not silly at all. I hope that you do not feel so alone now, you have hundreds of Cuties all with loving arms around you and many lifting up prayers for you and your family. You have gotten a lot of advice. Pick 1 piece of advice today to help you seek help for you or your family. And tomorrow, you can try another piece of advice. Please reach out to us whenever you need a cyber hug and let us know how you are doing. Also Private Message any of us. We are here for you.

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by jrob Moderator 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese, You have my added prayers. God knows your heart and your needs and your situation. I'm so proud of you for asking for prayers as that is our FIRST and best defense against these attacks.
You are focusing on your mother and your brother and that is a help with depression as you can take the spotlight off you and your hurts spiraling further downward. You may not be able to help your brother by physically being there, but you could call him and say, "thank you " for taking care of mom and I love you for it. That would lighten his burden considerably to have gratefulness presented to him.
Ignore your son. He sounds like a selfish brat.
We won't abandon you.

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by pldc 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese I agree with Lillian please talk to Dr. & social assistance clergy or nurse's someone will help you with the care of your mother VON Victorian Order of Nurse's (if they are where you live) can help point you in the right direction. All of these services or @least one of them will be available to aid in getting help to take care of your mother. As for your situation once your mother's care is answered you will have that stress unburdened from your shoulders. Perhaps your medication needs to change so you can feel better. A talk to your own Dr. will be most beneficial to you ~hugs & Prayers for all of you~

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by LizO 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese,
God can help you in such a desperate time of need. Lean on Him, talk to your friends, go back to your doctor, and pray, pray, pray. Know that others are lifting you up, as well. As an only child and a caretaker of parents, I know how stressful that can be.

Prayerfully,
Liz

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by graceandham 28 Dec 2015

I will certainly be praying on your behalf.

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by gerryvb 28 Dec 2015

dear Anneliese, it took real courage to write this down here, so you are stronger than you realize. I do hope and pray you will get all the help you need. And I know an army of Cuties will pray for you, so the Lord must hear our prayers and will help you in His way. Don't give up, you are in many thoughts. Love, Gerry

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by pacmp 28 Dec 2015

You were brave enough to recognize that you needed help and prayers/ From the moment you were even thinking those thoughts our Father in Heaven was already answering your plea to him. Once you pressed Submit you will have every Cutie who reads your message will be thinking of you and many will actively be praying for you adding you to prayer lists and earnestly seeking help for you and your families needs.
I will also be sending you a longer PM. (((Hugs))) Pam

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by manami 28 Dec 2015

Dear Anneliese, I had suicidal depression 5 years ago, and still taking medication. I just will add you in my prayer list, may God give you strength and hopes that life will be better.
I work in nursing home, and look after people like your mother. Is it difficult to get a nursing home for her where you live?
And why your son wants you to get rid of your stash? Please don't give up making things that make you happy. Love, Yoriko

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by tuross 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese please know that our Lord is just waiting to help, just ask him it's all he wants from you. No matter how bad you feel remember there are many people who are also lifting you into the Lords loving arms even when you don't know it. Lillian is also right, ask at your Doctors or hospital for help I am sure they will know where to get the practical help for your mother that your family needs. In Gods Love Lynne

1 comment
anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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by lbrow edited 28 Dec 2015

Anneliese, I am at this very moment lifting you up to a loving caring God who can help you. If I could I would wrap my arms around you and hold you as I would my child. Nothing is worth taking your life for you have asked for prayer so you know Began help and comfort you. I know there has to be someone you can go to to find the help you need. Talk to your Dr or someone at you mom's hospital. There should be someone in Social Services who can help you. I do not know where you are,if you're in another country other than the USA but they should have someone like that. Talk with the hospital clergy . I hope there is someone here at Cute who knows where you are so they can tell you somewhere to go for help. I care about you and will continue to plead for you with my Lord./Lillian

2 comments
toogie by toogie 29 Dec 2015

Well said Lillian.

anssmile by anssmile 31 Dec 2015

Thank you very much

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